Coming Undone
by abyssed
Summary: Somewhere along the line, Riza had made a foolish decision - which was so unlike her. But then again, foolish decisions were always made when matters of the heart were concerned. Royai. Non-con. Adult themes. M Rating. NEW CHAPTER UP EVERY SUNDAY.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** This is set to be a pretty intense fic. This is M rated and will deal with adult themes, including non-consensual sexual activities. You have been warned. On a more lighter note, this is my first FMA fic and I just adore this pairing.

Coming Undone

Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye had always exuded a quiet strength that had impressed others. She had kept true to her word and protected Colonel Roy Mustang as promised. Sometimes, however, that wasn't simply by watching his back like some avenging angel or saving him the displeasure of the higher ups by ensuring he completed his paperwork before the deadlines ...

Sometimes, it was by keeping her silence. What he didn't know, couldn't hurt him.

And even after all the pain he had inadvertently put her through, the last thing she wanted to do was cause him pain in return. Somewhere along the line, she had made a foolish decision - which was so unlike her. But then again, foolish decisions were always made when matters of the heart were concerned.

Their bittersweet childhood and tender love had given way to a tumultuous relationship in the blood soaked sands of Ishval, where they had clung to each other as though they were drowning, amidst the chaos and charred corpses. The terror, the nightmares and the feel of her flesh burning as Mustang had released her from her Father's research became fragments of a different life. The guarded yet professional relationship they shared now in the office bore no resemblance to the way they had been with each other all those years ago. The once whispered promises of love and marriage echoed in her dreams instead, feeling foreign in her reality.

Had he ever said those things? Or had her silly fantasies conjured them, teasing them out of his lips during a warm summer's night spent together under the stars? Back when they still had their innocence, back when their reality wasn't marred by war and their hands weren't stained with blood?

It didn't matter now. His attitude towards her was nothing short of professional, as was hers with him. Whatever they once had had all but vanished like a puff of smoke; a dream for a different pair of lovers. That much was certain from the Colonel's behavior. His reputation as the military's Casanova preceded him. Each week he had a different woman hanging off his arm. Each time, Riza's heart broke a little more, reducing her to seek refuge in the cold sheets of her empty bed, face pressed against her damp pillow.

It was painful to watch their pretty faces gaze adoringly at him. It was even more painful to watch him turn on his charm – the charm he had once reserved for her and only her. She had watched his hand smoothly travel up the thigh of another nameless albeit beautiful women, watched him lean close to her, smirking as she blushed at the licentious words he'd whispered into her ear. Riza had watched him behave this way more times that she cared to count. She found herself thinking she would be used to it by now, but no matter how many times she saw him flirt with another woman, the pain felt just as sharp as it had the first time she had witnessed such a thing.

Soon after, Riza had refrained from going out to bars. Or restaurants. Any place she was likely to run into _him._ Rebecca had tried to coax her on multiple occasions however she knew Riza well enough to know how stubborn she could be and had the sense not to push it. Riza relented to visiting coffee shops with Rebecca in the mornings instead. She knew it was far safer for her own heart and sanity to frequent such innocent establishments at such a time because there was no way that Mustang would be seen in such a place so early. Not if his date the previous night had gone well …

There was no getting away from it, however. Even on the occasions where she had spared herself from seeing him out with yet another woman, she would most certainly hear about it in the office the next day back at work. Havoc and Breda insisted on hearing every little detail and Mustang wasn't above letting them have it.

On these mornings, Riza would sit stiffly in her chair, hand cramped painfully around her pen as she continued filling in her reports, pressing the nib down harder than necessary until the page almost tore from the pressure. Her heart heavy in the pit of her stomach as she listened to the 'gory details' – as Breda always put it. Mustang would pick up on her tension right away and make some flippant comment and she would brush it away as though it was nothing. Havoc would then smile sheepishly and apologize for the 'locker room' talk. It couldn't be easy, he'd say, being the only woman in a team full of men.

It had been a couple of weeks back. Afternoon, still and yet she could already hear talks about gathering at the bar for an after-work drink. The mood was cheery. It was at the end of the month, the majority of the work had been cleared and they had just received their monthly pay. 'Was there a reason _not_ to celebrate?' Breda had asked. Riza had politely declined at first, resulting in each of the men (aside from Mustang, she had noticed sadly) voicing their objections at not having her come out with them. In the end it was Fuery's puppy dog eyes that made her change her mind.

At first, she was glad to have come. They had filed into one of their favourite haunts, crowding around a small table in the corner. Falman had gone to get the first round at the bar for them with Fuery in tow to help carry the drinks, leaving Havoc and Breda sitting on one end of the table, shamelessly discussing the curves of General Kaizer's new secretary.

Riza had found herself on the other end of the table, her chair crammed uncomfortably close to Mustang's due to the lack of space. Her leg had accidentally brushed against his and he'd smirked at her, leaning close to talk to her so that she could hear him over the pulsating beat of the music. He was being attentive and charming, and she'd felt her heart cautiously flutter, before soaring as she basked in the warmth of his dark gaze.

It was only when Falman and Fuery had come back with the drinks that Mustang had addressed the others in the group. A rowdy discussion on the most frivolous topics had followed suit and Riza found herself relaxing, smiling at their antics and softly shaking her head. Sometimes they were like children.

As the night wore on and the drinks flowed, Mustang had moved closer still, casually placing his arm around the back of her chair. Her heart had done little flips as his arm had brushed against hers each time he moved forward to reach his scotch. He'd alternated between talking to the others and whispering conspiratorially to her, his lips so close she could feel them ghosting over the shell of her ear. She could smell the drink on his breath as it warmed her skin each time he spoke to her but she knew he could hold his alcohol. He wasn't even the slightest bit drunk and yet, here he was shamelessly flirting with her, causing the butterflies in her stomach to flutter furiously.

In spite of herself, she'd smiled at his words and had replied playfully, letting her usual stoic mask slip. If not now, then when? They could never do this in the office and they never saw each other outside of work. If she could show him that this side of her _did_ exist, that she was not _all_ about work then maybe he would see her differently. Maybe he would see her the way he'd seen her before. As an individual, as a woman, something more than just another soldier and a bodyguard. Besides, he made her feel just as pretty as the women he dated and just once, she wanted to see what it was liked to feel that way. To feel _wanted._

When Mustang left to buy a round at the bar, Riza breathed deeply, relaxing her thighs that had been clenched together. The effect that he had on her had left her floored. No wonder so many women tended to swoon over him. She took a deep sip of her wine, trying to calm herself down and blushed uncharacteristically as Havoc caught her eye with a knowing smile. They'd been in academy together and aside from Mustang, she'd known him the longest. Riza refrained from craning her neck to look for her handsome Colonel at the crowded bar and instead chatted to Falman about his upcoming vacation, hoping Havoc would have the sense to not tease her at that moment.

Mustang was back within ten minutes, handing out the drinks. Riza had immediately noticed that he hadn't bought himself one. She was disappointed when he had excused himself, bidding them a good night. She watched him surreptitiously as he sauntered back to the bar, taking a seat on one of the barstools, next to an incredibly beautiful woman who immediately began fawning over him. She watched as he placed a hand on the small of her back, rubbing her through her dress sensuously as only he could, while handing her a glass of champagne with the other. Riza felt her heart drop, as a wave of bitterness and jealously washed over her.

She took another deep breath, willing her emotions to settle. He wasn't hers and she wasn't his, she tried to reason with herself. It didn't matter what he did. He was free to see whomever he wished. Just because he had flirted with her, just because he had made her feel like the most important person in the room during those precious couple of hours didn't mean anything. She knew he was a terrible flirt and that's all it was. He couldn't help himself. As she was the only female on the table, of course he would have directed his charm and attention over to her. It didn't mean anything. She suddenly felt silly for having responded the way she had. She would have felt better if she had treated him just as she always did. All it had taken was a smirk and his close proximity to reduce her to a mess. How pathetic.

Mustang's companion suddenly released a trilling laugh that rose above the music. Riza gritted her teeth and pushed her chair back. She excused herself to head to the ladies' room. It was only after she had locked herself in the stall that her annoyance was replaced by pain. She had been foolish to think anything would change after the way he'd behaved with her. She wasn't expecting anything to change at work, of course. Fraternization between a subordinate and a commanding office was not only frowned upon, it was downright illegal. However, she had secretly harboured some hope of him walking her home or talking to her privately without the mention of titles and ranks. She wanted to have a conversation where it was just them, with nothing standing in their way. There were so many things she wanted to ask him and tonight could have been the start of that however, it was clear that he wasn't interested in talking about the past or about them as individuals. She would always be Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye in his eyes.

She chided herself mentally for the wetness in the corner of her eyes. Grabbing some tissue, she dabbed carefully at her cheeks, ensuring she didn't wipe away the make-up she had hastily applied before leaving the office. Taking a few more steadying breaths, she stepped out of the cubicle and towards the sink, turning on the water and holding her wrists under the cool stream to calm herself down. After a few moments, she dried her hands and stepped out of the ladies' room, fully intending on calling it a night.

The bar had grown more crowded and suddenly she felt claustrophobic, wanting desperately to get outside and into the cool night air. Keeping her gaze averted from the Colonel and his date, Riza rushed through the bar, making a beeline for the door. She was almost there, when she felt herself knock into someone. She was just about to apologize when she realized exactly whom that someone was. Saluting smartly, she apologized for her mistake. General Kaizer simply smiled down at her, assuring her it was no trouble.

'Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, correct?'

'Yes, sir.' Riza replied. She was surprised to see him, didn't think he was the type to frequent such places. But then looking around, she could see more uniformed officers than civilians. This place was a popular military haunt due to its location. She could see some of the other generals at the far end of the bar.

'Got dragged here,' he laughed, when he noticed her surprise. 'You're one of Mustang's, right?'

She inwardly flinched at that.

'That's correct, sir.' She replied steadily, careful to keep her voice and expression neutral.

'Allow me to introduce myself, Lieutenant. I am General Trent Kaizer.' He leaned forward to take her hand, bringing it to his lips.

'I'm aware, General. Your reputation precedes you.' Something about his kiss didn't sit right with her. It wasn't proper to do so while mentioning her title. It made her feel cold, but she allowed him to hold on to her hand until he released her.

'You're too kind, Riza.'

She felt a little flash of annoyance at how easily he had used her first name but she brushed it aside. She was purposely trying to find faults and it wasn't fair to him.

'I've just about had enough of this place and I can see that you were leaving as well.' General Kaizer smiled again. She couldn't help comparing his smile to the Colonel's. When Roy smiled, she could see it reflected in his eyes. The General's smile sat on his lips, never quite reaching his steel grey gaze. 'As the night is still young, would you care to join me for a late dinner?'

The invitation left her flummoxed for a moment. She certainly hadn't expected that. General Kaizer looked pointedly at the small table she had been sitting at all night. The others were still there, drinking away merrily, Havoc and Breda's voices bordering on obnoxious, the more inebriated they became. The distaste in the General features was evident as he silently contemplated the group. 'I doubt you've eaten anything since lunch, am I correct? You must be starving.'

Riza realized she was actually hungry. Now that her giddiness and disappointed had settled, she'd found herself completely empty. She'd only managed to eat half a sandwich at lunch earlier on in the day as once again, she had spent her break helping the Colonel get his own work done before the deadline. Some food and some company would do her the world of good. Still, she felt strange accepting his invitation. Since Roy, she hadn't really gone out with many men, stubbornly waiting instead, in the vain hope that he would find his way back to her. She realized the futility of that hope now but still, having dinner with another man almost felt like a betrayal.

It was the sudden trilling laugh of the Colonel's lady friend that made Riza snap to attention and graciously accept the General's invitation. She resolved to go to dinner and have a good time. She was not going to spend a moment longer thinking about her hopeless flirt of a Colonel nor was she going to mentally compare General Trent Kaizer to Colonel Roy Mustang over dinner. She deserved a fun evening out after all the nights she'd been alone and even though this invitation to dinner may not progress to a follow up, she would enjoy it for what It was at the moment. A harmless meal with a colleague. Hopefully, the new company would allow her to forget about her own stricken heart for a couple of hours.

'Shall we?' She smiled politely, indicating the entrance of the club.

As General Kaizer led her out, she couldn't help but cast a glance over to the Colonel sitting at the bar. She couldn't decide whether she wanted him to see her leave with General Kaizer or not. On one hand, she didn't want him to see. She wanted to appear available to him so that he would know she was always there if he ever wanted to come back to her. On the other hand, she wanted him to see, wanted him to watch her leave with another man, wanted him to feel some kind of emotion, something akin to what she felt each time she saw him with another woman. But that was incredibly petty and she felt ashamed for it. Regardless of how much his actions hurt her, she couldn't hurt him and so, she was hoping he wouldn't notice her slink out of the bar with the General.

Riza was surprised when her gaze locked on to Mustang's – he had been looking right at her. She could see his date chattering about something but it was clear that he wasn't paying any attention. He was focused solely on her, his dark eyes deliberately falling to the arm that General Kaizer had wrapped around her waist as he guided her to the door. Riza found herself feeling embarrassed under the Colonel's scrutiny. It only lasted for a few moments, before she boldly shrugged it off.

Mustang left bars with different women every week so who was he to judge her leaving just the once with a respectable General? She lifted her chin, almost in defiance, taking a last look at him. Although she couldn't pick out the lingering emotions within his brooding gaze, she could have sworn she saw a hint of vexation before she finally stepped out of the door and into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** So this escalates pretty quickly. Still a big, fat M rating. NON-CON PEOPLE. Quick update because chapter 1 and chapter 2 were supposed to be just one big chapter. But it got so stupidly long which is why I split it. Next update in 3 days or so.

Coming Undone

The bed groaned beneath Riza, the sound of the creaking springs combining with the General's heavy grunts, the dirty slap-slap-slap sound of his testicles smacking against her bare buttocks that came with each thrust and her own ragged breaths, to form a grim melody. He rose above her like some beast, a lustful glint in his cold gaze, lips stretched out over his teeth in a frightening smile. She vaguely wondered how she had ever considered him attractive when she had studied him over dinner.

She almost couldn't believe it had come to this ― except for the fact that it was happening. It was happening _right_ now and she couldn't do a damn thing to stop it. She tried to think back to earlier on in the night, tried to figure out if she had glimpsed his true intent in the way he had looked at her over the dinner table or in the way he had touched her or spoken to her. And she couldn't. He had behaved like a true gentleman throughout their entire night.

She hadn't even thought to question his motives when he insisted that he walk her home. It was only when she had tried to close her front door after wishing him a goodnight, that he had lunged forward, his mouth attacking hers in a fierce kiss. Surprised, she had stumbled back into the hallway and that was all he had needed ― a split second to enter her home and her body.

She'd tried to pull her head away from him, tried to _push_ him away by placing both of her hands on his chest but her attempts were feeble against him. He was bigger and stronger and even her most fierce punches were that akin to a tiny bird, beating its wings on the snout of a fox. Her furious verbal protests were swallowed by his greedy mouth, his tongue almost choking her.

The General had pushed her on to her bed, not bothering to fully undress himself or even her. He had shoved up her skirt until it was bunched around her waist before tearing at her underwear. She gasped when she felt the cold air settle over her warm flesh, felt her cheeks burning in humiliation as she lay there, with her most private part exposed to him.

He didn't seem interested in studying her though, he barely noticed, his eyes were already glazing over with carnal desire. Unzipping himself quickly, he released his penis from the confines of his uniform trousers and Riza had pleaded with him when she had seen the mammoth shaft, his engorged head already weeping. But it had done no good. The General from their meal out was no longer present in the room ― that much was certain. The change in him was disturbing. Riza had screamed uselessly into his hand when he had entered her, swiftly and without mercy ― giving her no time to adjust as he established a relentless pace.

What good was all her army training if she couldn't even protect herself? She was only able to shoot but without her pistols, she was utterly helpless ― especially when lying on her back like this. She couldn't fight him off no matter how much she struggled. And if she couldn't even protect herself, how could she protect anyone she cared about, how could she protect _him?_ She started to panic, struggling to breathe due to the weight of the General crushing her from above. It would do no good to break down right now and cry. There was no use in begging for mercy as the man above her had gone past the point of reasoning.

She closed her eyes tightly, keeping the tears from escaping and tried to picture the office she shared with the others in an attempt to calm herself ― some semblance of normalcy. She pictured Havoc gushing over his new love interest, Falman calmly making tea, Breda teasing Fuery ... and finally, she pictured, _him_.

Her strong and steady Colonel sitting at his desk, giving Havoc a hard time for losing another girl, complaining about the paperwork, sipping from a coffee mug ... and then she remembered him gazing at her ― the image making her heart clench painfully ― the way he always smiled warmly, looking amused when she chastised him for procrastinating. And that was what finally did it.

She began sobbing.

Any noise she made was swallowed up by the General's mouth. But nothing could stop the tears. Riza flinched as she felt him dig his fingers hard into her shoulders after a particularly deep thrust, his hands scrambled down to tear at the buttons on her blouse, before yanking down her bra, exposing her breasts to him in an attempt to get even closer. Reaching down, he suddenly squeezed her hard with both hands as his thrusts became more erratic

She cried under him, squirming as her breasts were abused by his violent hand, along with each thrust. Finally, he gave one last savage thrust before releasing his seed inside her. Collapsing on top, he panted for several long moments before rolling over and looking down at her.

Riza lay crumpled on the bed, instinctively bringing up her knees and pressing her legs together to pitifully shield herself from another attack. Her sobs had quietened down to small whimpers. She felt numb and the shock barely registered when General Kaizer crooned down at her.

'Riza, what's wrong? Why are you crying?'

Despite herself, she blinked up at him. Was he being serious? How could he not know? How could he not feel her tremble and whimper during that whole ordeal? Did he honestly think she had wanted this? He'd barely given her a chance to respond and now he was acting like he'd done nothing wrong. She wanted to spit at him, claw at him and scream about what he had just taken from her but all she could manage was a small, painful groan.

'I'm sorry. I assumed we both wanted this. You seemed very eager to come to dinner with me. And since you let me pay for dinner, I assumed you would be treating me to dessert.' He sighed, looking down at her. 'It's been so long, I lost control and got carried away. But you wanted it too, I could tell.'

She hated the tone that he used. Conversational, as though they were discussing he weather. She couldn't believe that he would be so pathetic as to think that she was offering herself up to him simply because she had allowed him to pay for the meal. She had insisted that they share the bill however, he hadn't listened. After he had assured her it was no problem, she had forgotten it. And to say that he knew that she _wanted_ it? What a load of shit.

Riza clasped her arms to her chest to cover herself from his hard yet bemused gaze. No decent man would assume such an absurd thing. There must be something wrong with him, she thought, frantically. Or could it have been a misunderstanding? Could she have given off a vibe that made him think this was okay? She thought back to their dinner and decided that she hadn't behaved any differently than normal. She had only been playful with Roy when they had been crammed together in that dark corner. During the dinner, she had reverted back to her usual self - respectful and polite, ever the Lieutenant.

'I thought we had a pleasant evening together.' General Kaizer reasoned. Riza gave him an incredulous look but was relieved to see that he had returned to his former self. 'And to prove it to you, I'll do something for you. It's my turn to make you feel good.'

Riza had barely a moment to make sense of his words, before her legs were yanked apart. She yelped and struggled against him but he held her down easily, hushing her as though he was speaking to a wounded animal.

'Easy now.' His voice was eerily soft. 'You'll enjoy this, I promise.'

His thick fingers plunged inside her core, one rubbing against her clit as the others drove themselves deeper inside her. She squirmed against his hand, looking at him wildly, _disbelievingly_ but he simply smiled down at her, his own breathing becoming heavier as he watched her whimper under his ministrations. This was so, _so_ wrong. She didn't want to enjoy this. And yet, she was horrified when she felt her confused body responding to his touch.

She saw him smirk above her as his hand became slippery from her moisture. She felt raw and each time his fingers touched her sensitive skin, it stung. But something else was happening. She could feel something warm building up in the pit of her stomach and she hated herself for it. His fingers soon brushed a bundle of nerves deep inside of her and she gasped, her eyes closing as pleasure threatened to suffocate her. On the inside of her eyelids, she could see stars. Her traitorous mind conjured up the same image of the Colonel as before and she bit down hard on her lip to keep from crying out _his_ name, as she came miserably.

'There you see.' The General chuckled, pulling his hand away from her. 'That wasn't so bad, was it? And if you have any other ideas about what happened tonight, know this …'

She suddenly found his fingers in her mouth and she tried to pull away but he was holding her head firmly in place. His fingers were still coated with her juices.

'That's all you, Riza. You enjoyed it just as much as I did.' Kaizer whispered to her, stroking her tongue with his fingers to ensure that she could taste herself. 'Remember that.'

When he finally released her, she stayed as she was, weakly pulling the comforter from the foot of the bed to cover herself. She was silent as she listened to him straighten his clothing and zip himself up. Before he left her, he placed a gentle kiss on her cheek and wished her a good night as though they were lovers.

She had wanted to scream.

* * *

In his own apartment, Roy Mustang looked up from his drink to glance at the clock for the tenth time since he'd arrived home. He wanted to call his Lieutenant to ensure she had reached her own place safely. He'd been pleasantly surprised at the way she had responded to him at the bar, smiling in such a way that it was all he could do to stop himself from reaching out to her and kissing her. He'd wondered if she had been drunk as she had never responded to him so playfully and so freely before. Not after they had both crossed the line to being subordinate and commanding officer.

They were sitting in a dark enough corner for him to risk moving in. And as the night had progressed, he had shifted closer to her, close enough to smell her shampoo and the soap that she used on her creamy white skin. He had delighted over how she had shivered as his lips had ghosted over the shell of her ear when he'd been whispering to her. It had felt so intimate and he had relished the feeling that she had stirred up in the pit of this stomach ― a wanting that no other woman could fill. He had been so close to asking her to come home with him. Somewhere private, where they could say all the things they had kept from uttering since their childhood, since that damn war. He wanted to hold her and ease her suffering with his touch. He wanted to assure her that their time would come. He wanted to see if she still tasted the same, the way he remembered her to taste when he had first claimed her lips all those year ago.

His intention had been to steal her away from the group after he'd bought a round of drinks. However, that never quite went to plan. At the bar, he had caught sight of Anna ― one of Madam Christmas' girls. As soon as she'd seen him, she'd sang, 'Rooooy, I'm so _glad_ to have run into you!'

Which of course meant she had been sent with urgent news for him. Loathed to leave Riza, he had no choice but to walk back to his team to politely wish them a good night ― his heart had grown heavy when he had seen the disappointment flash briefly across her features. As he had walked back to the bar, he'd wondered whether Riza had been watching to see what was going on. He had willed himself not to look back. The last thing he wanted to do was send her long, lingering looks when he was supposed to be entertaining his new lady friend. And true to form, he'd kept up the act all night, cementing his reputation as a womanizing bastard by getting up close and personal with his latest conquest in full view of the entire bar.

He'd cast a quick glance back to find Riza gone from the table. After a while, he had checked again and had been concerned when he had witnessed her leaving with General Kaizer. While he knew what the man was like in a professional capacity, he had no idea how he behaved when he wasn't wearing the uniform. Mustang had looked at her carefully to see whether she was affected by the alcohol that she had consumed ― and if that was the reason for her decision she had made. It wasn't something he would have predicted that she'd do, after all. This was the first time he'd seen her with another man like this. It was only when she sent him a glare that he realized she was completely sober and had grudgingly allowed her to leave without stepping in.

Now it was 2:14 AM and he couldn't put it off any longer. He knew she wouldn't be happy to hear from him at this time of night but he'd rather get a lecture from his Lieutenant now, than spend the rest of the night worrying about her. Sighing, he picked up the phone and dialled the only number he had bothered to memorize.

* * *

Riza wasn't sure whether moments had passed or hours. She lay there, legs curled under her tightly to relive the ache between them. She felt raw and dirty and so, _so_ tired. She couldn't trust herself to get up and go wash herself. There was no way her weak legs would hold her up longer than a few minutes in the shower and she wanted to spend hours in there, scrubbing herself clean, removing all essence of his touch and breath.

The loud ring jolted her and she cast a fearful look around the dark room before her gaze settled on the phone on her bedside table. Who would be calling at this hour, she wondered vaguely as she noticed the time on the clock. She didn't want to answer the phone but it kept up its insistent peal, refusing to be ignored. For a moment, she fretted it was the General calling – but allowed that thought to pass. After all, she thought bitterly, he'd taken everything from her tonight. What more could he want by ringing? It had to be someone else. Maybe Rebecca. Or Havoc, wondering if she'd got home okay.

'Hello?' she practiced in the empty room. She didn't quite trust herself to speak normally. Her voice still sounded a little strained from the crying and screaming. If questioned, she would just say that she had been sleeping. Nobody would argue with that. It was 2:17 AM, after all. Finally, picking up the phone, she cautiously held it up to her ear.

'Hello?'

'Hellllooooo Nurse! I was just wondering if you can come over and kiss my head better! I drank a little too much as usual.'

Riza sighed. She knew that voice. It was the same one he'd put on when he was secretly talking to her 'Elizabeth' during a covert operation. Sometimes he did that to annoy her, she believed. And _some_ times when she was in a good enough mood or missing him terribly, she even humoured him by playing along. But why was he calling tonight?

All the same, she was both relived and upset to hear from him. His voice was a welcome distraction and she wanted him to continue speaking nonsense to her about fake nurses and kisses until she fell asleep. On the other hand, she felt all wrong. Like she wasn't herself. She hadn't even showered yet and she didn't want to speak to him when she had the scent of another man all over her. She didn't want to speak to him when she was feeling like this, like a shadow of her former self. She wanted to be his calm and rational Lieutenant. The one who would respectfully tell him off for calling so late at night for something so silly. But how could she do that when she was seeing monsters in the shadows of her own bedroom?

'This is Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, sir. I believe you have the wrong number.' She tried her best to play her part, but her usual tone was somewhat lacking.

On his end, Mustang picked up on it immediately.

'Are you okay, Riza?' he asked, dropping the title.

She paused. Touched at the concern in his voice, she felt a tear slip out and trail silently down her cheek. She brushed it away roughly. She would not cry to him over the phone. She would be strong. She would not give anything away. Unfortunately, she was a moment too late in replying.

'What's wrong?' His tone was more demanding this time, however, she could still hear that same concern. It made her heart ache.

'Nothing, sir.' She licked her dry lips, hating herself for the lie. 'I was sleeping. You woke me up.'

'In that case, I'm sorry to have woken you, Lieutenant.' He continued smoothly, although she could tell he didn't believe it. But he didn't question it either. He respected her too much to push it right now. She could almost picture the doubt on his features even though he had reverted back to talking like his usual self. She silently swallowed a sob. She didn't deserve his kindness. 'I was simply making a courtesy call to our entire team.'

'Oh, is that so?' Riza raised an eyebrow. He was lying. He was simply checking up on her because she was the female in the team. He probably felt responsible for her safety and whereabouts because they had all started the night off together as a team. They had been out for after- _work_ drinks. So of course, as her commanding officer he felt it was his responsibility to make sure she got home okay.

'That's so.' Mustang replied without missing a beat. 'I'll have you know, I plan to call each and every one of my men for confirmation. Last time, Breda got lost and wound up taking shelter at the bus station because he was too damn drunk to make this way home. I figured, I'd make the easiest call first. Satisfied?'

Despite herself, she couldn't help the small smile that twitched at her lips. Her face hurt. She didn't think she would ever smile again. He cared enough about her feelings to not only tell an obvious lie but an absurd one at that. There was no way he was calling the others at this time of night.

'Understood, sir. Thank you for your call.' She had to bite her lip from making another sound. She couldn't say anything else otherwise she would crumble. She hated herself for wondering whether he had left his date alone in his bedroom to make the call. Would he go back to her arms after doing his duty in making sure his _female_ Lieutenant had reached home safely? Was that all it was?

'You're welcome, Lieutenant.' Roy paused, before adding softly, 'Good night.'

'Good night.' Riza whispered finally, even though the line had been disconnected. She couldn't trust herself to say the words over the phone.

Curling up into a ball, she played back their conversation in her head, taking comfort in the way his voice had sounded. His voice had always given her strength, it always made her feel better during the rare times when she was feeling scared or lost. His voice commanded and guided, instilled confidence in others, comforted and teased. She remembered the way he had whispered to her in the bar and she shivered, warmth spreading through her. Her mind played out his rich baritone again for her, flecked with concern and amusement. She allowed it to lull her to sleep ― just for tonight, she would indulge herself. She had the weekend to pull herself together. On Monday, she couldn't be scared and broken Riza.

She had to be Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Oh, go on. Have another chapter. Earlier than promised. And just to warn you, it's a loooong one.

Coming Undone  


Monday arrived along with the usual - a lazy start in the Mustang office. The only difference was that he had arrived earlier than normal, but had contented himself to lounging behind his desk with his coffee, doing absolutely nothing as he sat silently, watching the others trail in.

Falman had arrived first, wishing him a quick good morning before getting to work – proficient as always. Ten minutes later Fuery had shuffled in, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Three quarters of an hour later, Havoc and Breda had rolled in – making a racket as usual, chatting about everything and nothing. Mustang had been surprised that even Havoc and Breda had managed to beat the Lieutenant to the office this morning.

While true, there was still time and his Lieutenant wasn't late by a long shot, he had just grown accustomed to seeing her first each morning. They would get a precious twenty minutes alone which they would spend in companionable silence before the others arrived. Her quiet presence soothed him, geared him up for the day ahead. It was strange that he wouldn't get that luxury this morning. He'd been hoping to catch her alone so that he could talk to her. Their conversation over the phone from Friday night still plagued his mind as did his last memory of her at the bar before she'd walked out.

He had just hauled himself up to refill his coffee cup, when Riza slipped in through the door. The others greeted her enthusiastically and she responded with a quick greeting of her own. He watched her out of the corner of this eye as she quietly took her seat before opening her desk drawer to remove a stack of paperwork. Placing them neatly on her desk, she uncapped her pen and got to work.

He knew better than to greet her himself so he remained silent, looking down at his own paperwork that he had carelessly strewn across his desk. It was fine, he could afford to take it easy today – new month and all. Things wouldn't start rolling until the middle of the first week. He opened a file anyway, held it up and pretended to peruse it while he watched her.

Her desk was the closest to him and he could see her profile clearly. She looked pale and tired, shadows noticeable around her eyes – as though she hadn't been sleeping well. Her usual, tidy hair had strands escaping from the brown barrette she always wore. Her lips trembled slightly and she pressed them tightly together every now and then, before taking a deep breath. He couldn't help but think how fragile she looked and was suddenly overcome with the desire to march over and sweep her up in his arms.

'Ohhhh Colonel, you're so dreeaaaamy when you stare off into the distance like that!' came a high pitched, giggly sing-song and he glanced irritably at Havoc and Breda who were sat on the opposite side of Riza. They were both laughing at him. He wasn't sure which one of them had addressed him in that ridiculous voice and he didn't care.

'Breda,' he barked, throwing a file unceremoniously over to him. He had a distinct feeling that he'd been the one, judging from the way the soldier had turned red. 'Make yourself useful and take the Lancaster paperwork over to General Grumman. And _you_ - _'_ Mustang glared at Havoc. 'I want you to go to the archives and find anything you can about Dr. Ford. He was conducting some research on medical alchemy and I want all his notes on my desk before you leave the office today. Breda, join Havoc in the archives when you're done delivering that file. Understood?'

'Yes sir!' Breda and Havoc saluted and marched out of the office.

Falman had purposely looked even more absorbed in his work and Fuery had sunk down in his chair, almost burrowing into his books, lips clamped together, afraid that even a peep would incur the wrath of the Colonel. It was Riza who fixed Mustang with a level stare, a look that made him bite back the smirk that had crossed his lips when the two men had jumped at his command. She sighed and slowly stood up, walking over to his desk with some paperwork intended for his signature. He watched her approach, noticing her stiff movements and careful features. She was deliberately keeping her expression neutral. And he hated that she felt the need to hide from him.

As Riza passed him the paperwork, the fact that her hands shook ever so slightly didn't go unnoticed by him. He reached out for the papers, allowing his hand to brush hers casually. It was ice cold. He signed the documents and handed them back to her with a flourish before leaning back in his chair to study her.

'Thank you, sir.' She ignored his look, tried to keep herself from fidgeting with the papers in her arms. He couldn't help but think it was so unlike her. She looked so uncomfortable under his gaze. What had happened? When he didn't reply, she finally met his gaze with her own – brown eyes, still revealing nothing.

'There is no Dr. Ford, is there?' She asked softly, keeping her voice low so the other men couldn't hear.

'Nope!' He replied, cheerfully. 'How long do you think they'll last before they figure it out?'

'You need to tell them before they waste the entire day looking for something that doesn't exist, sir.' She looked away, shaking her head, but the small smile on her lips was unmistakable and his heart did a little flutter when their eyes met again. He'd made her smile – a genuine smile. He could see it reflected within her gaze, eyes suddenly shimmering with mirth. He only wished he could pull her to him and rub some warmth back into her cold hands, wrap his arms around her and ask why she looked as though she was about to break and then hold her even tighter to stop her from falling apart.

But he didn't.

He simply gave her a firm nod and she took that as a cue to return back to her desk.

* * *

Riza was doing an awful job. That much was evident from the way the Colonel gazed at her and spoke to her. She had lost count of the number of times she'd caught him sneaking glances her way. She was aware that he'd noticed that something was off. It made her want to try that much harder to behave as though nothing was wrong which was becoming more difficult by the second – especially when all her instincts screamed at her to go to him and collapse in his arms. She childishly wanted him to chase the nightmares away with his strong presence and gentle touch the way he had done when they'd been children.

But that couldn't happen because she was alone now. What had occurred that night had taken her away from her life and she felt like she was still trapped somewhere in the dark. She couldn't fully be present here, in this office while she still felt as though she was dreaming of this. Any moment now, she would come to her senses and realize she was still in bed, getting brutalized by the General.

The General … She shuddered – an action that earned her another concerned look from Mustang – at the thought of meeting _him_ again anywhere in Head Quarters or even in Central. What would she do, how would she react? Especially in the presence of others. And more importantly, what would _he_ do? How would he treat her? Would he apologize? Ignore her? Act as though they were lovers? The final thought made her want to be sick. Her fists clenched involuntarily. All that time she had spent during the weekend to prepare herself for today – it had all been for nothing. She still felt as broken as she had been when he'd finished with her. And what was worse was that the Colonel could plainly see the chinks in her armour.

The weekend had been one of the bleakest of her life.

She'd started with the shower – making it as hot as she could bear and then, hotter still. She'd scrubbed herself until her skin was red and blotchy then stepped out of the shower only to hop back in again, convinced she could still smell him on her. It was only when she began shivering uncontrollably that she noticed that she had been in there long enough for the hot water to run out, leaving her standing in a jet of icy cold.

Finally leaving the shower, she had studied herself in the mirror in her bathroom. She had cried when she'd discovered the angry bruising on her hips and breasts. His hand prints remained on her; a reminder of the terror and helplessness. How long would they take to disappear from her body, she had wondered? Would they _ever_ disappear from her soul?

She had stripped the bed clean, thrown away the soiled sheets, the comforter that she had used to cover her abused body and even the pillow. She didn't think she would ever be able to sleep in that bed again much less use the same bed linen.

And finally – this is what had been the worst – she had gone to the chemist to purchase some emergency contraception. He hadn't used any protection and the thought of getting pregnant with a baby – with _his_ baby was terrifying. Swallowing the pills had made her feel a little better but it hadn't lasted.

She had been plagued by fear, guilt and shame so by the time Monday had come around, her emotions were ragged. She hadn't slept properly, waking every hour or so – convinced that he was in the room with her, looming over her. She'd quickly flick on the light to find it empty, her heart thundering in her chest.

What pained her the most was that it hadn't been black and white. Although she had tried to struggle against him and scream out protest after protest, his mouth had muffled all her words. There had never been a clear and resounding ' _no_ ' – had there? And shamefully, her body had reacted positively to his touch. He had even managed to bring her to an orgasm. Maybe he had expected to sleep with her all long and she had just been too naïve to realize? Was it still considered … rape? There was a lot of grey area and it made her feel worse. She didn't know how to process what had happened. And what could she even do about it, anyway? It's not like it had been some stranger that she had invited back home from some bar. It had been one of Amestris' respected Generals.

How could she tell anyone what had happened without things looking bad for her and more importantly, without things looking bad for the Colonel? Her accusations were sure to have a negative impact on him especially if everyone took the General's word over her own. It would not only be damaging to the Colonel's reputation but his career as well, if people heard her saying such things. After all, how could Mustang be in control of anything when he couldn't stop his female member of staff running her mouth off with such absurd accusations?

And lastly, she didn't want the Colonel to know. Out of everyone who could have possibly found out about her secret, it was _him_ that she wanted to keep in the dark. She already felt dirty and ruined beyond repair – she couldn't face the thought of him finding out. It was too shameful and she didn't want him to see her like that – like some broken thing, that had to be looked after.

Come lunch time, Riza still hadn't budged from her desk. The Colonel had grudgingly told Fuery to bring back the 'two idiots' – (his words), half an hour before lunch. Fuery had saluted and scampered off returning a short while later with a silent Havoc and Breda in tow. They both had the decency to look sheepish as they saluted and sat down without a fuss to get on with their work while Mustang hid a smirk behind his hand. When the lunch break began, each of the men had filed out in turn leaving her alone with the Colonel. A few minutes of silence passed before she heard him speak.

'Not taking a lunch break today, Lieutenant?'

Riza froze. She didn't want to move, she felt safe here. The thought of running into the General in the corridors or the canteen made her positively ill. However, she had barely eaten during the weekend and she could feel her stomach twist and churn from the lack of food. But she couldn't move, couldn't risk venturing out of her safe haven just to get something to eat. Especially when she knew that _he_ would be out there.

Back before the attack, when she could still walk freely through the building, she had seen him countless times sitting with the other Generals during lunch. Of course, at the time, she had thought nothing of it, had barely even given him much more than a glance. But now, of course it was different. She couldn't sit there with the others, knowing Kaizer was there, watching her. If any of her team looked at her while she was under his gaze or in his presence, surely they would know? Surely they would see the shame and distress splashed across her features? It wasn't worth risking.

'No, sir.' She kept her gaze on her work, pen barely pausing in its smooth movement across the page. She waited for him to ask her why but he remained silent, watching her for a few moments before calmly shrugging on his military jacket and leaving the office. She was thankful he hadn't lingered or even questioned her. Aside from being adamant that she wasn't hungry, what else could she have said? And he wouldn't have believed that anyway.

A quarter of an hour before the lunch break was due to finish, the Colonel sauntered back in, pausing for a moment to silently place a shop bought sandwich and a take-out cup of tea on her desk. She blinked up at him in surprise as he wordlessly walked back to his own desk

Gratefully, Riza picked up the cup and took a sip, the hot tea soothing her. She was touched. He didn't have to do this and yet, he had gone out of his way to get her lunch. He'd even remembered how she liked her tea. He hadn't even questioned her, had simply accepted the fact that she didn't want to leave. Smiling faintly, she picked up her sandwich inhaling the scent of the fresh filling and glanced over at him before speaking softly.

'Thank you, sir.'

… And then, equally as soft. 'You're welcome, Lieutenant.'

The week had passed with no major incidents for Riza. Each day, she felt a little bit stronger, a little bit more in control. She had conditioned herself to get through the day and allow herself to come apart at night. Wrapped up in her sheets and clutching her pillow to her chest, there was no one there to see her break. And that was okay. She would do what she needed, letting her emotions run through the night so by the time dawn finally broke across the horizon, she was washed out, numb. Ready to get through the day without feeling anything at all.

She was well aware that the Colonel had been trying to get her alone during the week. It was obvious he wanted to talk to her. Even during the rare few moments when they _had_ been alone, he had looked as though he wanted to say something to her, she could practically feel the words on the tip of his tongue.

She was intrigued and frightened by what he could possibly want to ask her.

Would he ask her how her night had been after she had left the bar? Would he ask her if she ever thought about him, ever missed him? Would he ask if she hated him for abandoning her that night?

But he never had the chance to ask anything because the other men in her team – the kind, yet _clueless_ men – had such awful timing. One of them would always seem to walk in a moment too soon and the Colonel would remain silent, watching her instead with that same solemn expression.

Riza was surprised and grateful, when some kind of food and drink always found its way to her desk every lunch break. Once it had mysteriously appeared when she'd returned from a latrine break. Another time, she had found Falman quietly placing a hot, deliciously fragrant cup of soup and a buttered roll upon her desk and on another, even Fuery had bought back a chicken salad for her. She had looked at him, surprised when he had stood there fidgeting for a moment or two, before shyly handing her a lovely looking cupcake from a nearby bakery.

'This too,' he'd blushed, rushing off.

Although each of the deliverers didn't give her a reason for their actions, she knew the Colonel was behind this. Each time Mustang walked into the office after lunch, she'd still be eating at her desk. He never commented on the fact that she never left for lunch breaks nor did he ever question where the food had come from – as it was a lot nicer than what they served in the canteen – or whom had bought it for her. Riza had tried to catch his eye, to silently convey her gratitude to him but he never looked at her directly or made her feel as though she had to say anything at all.

On the last day of the week, the morning was the same although they were much busier. Riza glanced up to see both Havoc and Breda writing frantically. Fuery was scrambling through the filing system, looking for a particular document for Falman. She sneaked a glance over at her Colonel, feeling a sudden tenderness for him as she watched him grumble under his breath as he scrawled line after line on the page in front of him. She hid a small smile, turning back to her own work. It would do no good for him to catch her looking at him.

He would only get distracted.

* * *

Come lunch time, Roy had had just about enough. His hand ached from writing out the reports and his shoulders felt stiff from sitting, hunched over his desk. The temptation to burn both his desk and the cursed paperwork was far too great. Words were swimming before his vision and he blinked them away irritably. His gaze had then fallen on Riza and he had softened as he took in her appearance.

He had worried about her all through the week and it had pissed him off to no end to find that he couldn't even say anything to her without someone either walking in or being in the room already. He had wondered why she refused to leave her desk during breaks and had come to the conclusion that her night with the General may not have gone well and that she was avoiding him. Of course, he couldn't fathom just _how_ bad, how wrong it had all been. It was something he could never consider because his Riza was strong and brave and would never, ever end up in a such a situation where she wasn't happy.

Maybe she had harboured feelings for the General and he'd let her down.

Roy hadn't liked that either. The thought of Riza feeling that way about another man made his heart ache. But he couldn't blame her, could he? Not when she was forced to watch him parading different woman on his arm every week.

He hadn't wanted to drive her away or make her feel worse than how she was obviously feeling, so he hadn't pushed her when she refused to leave her desk to eat. Instead he'd made sure she had fresh food every day – whether it was by his hand or not. Thankfully, even Breda had known better than to comment on his actions and did as he was asked.

Standing up and stretching lazily, he shrugged on his military jacket before walking over to Riza's desk. The others had left already and once again, they were alone. She seemed deep in thought and didn't look as though she had heard him approach until he was practically leaning on her desk.

'Would you like to join me for lunch, Lieutenant?' A different tactic.

Riza looked visibly startled and he was sorry that he hadn't given her enough warning before approaching. He watched as she bit her lip, pulling herself together enough to respond. Knowing full well that she had no desire to visit the canteen, he decided to help her out.

'I was thinking about that eatery on 5th – the one with the fresh pastries. Interested?'

She looked so perplexed that for a moment, he was certain she would decline his invitation. He was pleasantly surprised, when she merely nodded, her lips curving up a fraction for a tiny smile. He waited patiently as she stacked her paperwork neatly on her desk before standing up and reaching for her bag.

This was progress.

They had walked to the café in silence. He hadn't failed to notice that she walked a little closer to him than normal, as though she was trying to hide herself. He had almost wanted to wrap his arm protectively around her – especially when she had shivered in the chilly breeze. He had thought better of it, however. It would have been a foolish thing to do, even something so seemingly innocent in full view of Central.

It was warm in the café – and quiet, on this particular Friday. Only a handful of the places were filled. He led Riza over to a table tucked away in the corner. He could see her shoulders relax as they both sat down. Handing her a menu, he watched as she perused it. She seemed more comfortable than he'd seen her look all week. He was glad to have gotten her out of the building. It couldn't have been healthy, staying in the same, stuffy room every day for hours on end.

The breeze had given her cheeks a rosy glow and she didn't look quite so pale anymore. Her hair was windblown but still in its barrette. He watched her sigh softly as she breathed in the scent of coffee and vanilla and he couldn't help but think how beautiful she looked.

'Tell me what you want.' He murmured, as he leaned closer across the table, knowing full well she would pick up on the double meaning behind his words.

He watched the way she gazed at him over her menu, pressing her lips together to refrain from answering. A faint blush kissed her already rosy cheeks and he couldn't help but smirk at her. His hand itched to move closer and cover hers which was lightly resting on the table between them but he held himself in check.

The waitress came over and greeted them merrily, asking if they were ready to order. He hastily looked down at his menu while Riza ordered a cup of tea and a savoury pastry before putting in his own order of coffee and a sandwich. When they were alone once more, he smiled warmly at Riza.

'We should do this more often.'

'Thank you for inviting me, sir.' Riza replied, before adding. 'If we make a habit of this, people will surely talk.'

'Not if I alternate between you, Havoc and Breda. _What?'_ He asked, noting her incredulous expression. 'Would people accuse me of sleeping with all three of you?'

He had expected her to ignore him or even chastise him for saying something so careless and in public, no less but she merely shrugged.

'Possibly.' She gazed at him through her eyelashes, before adding – almost as an afterthought. 'I've seen the way you look at Breda.'

Roy blinked. Had she just said that? It was so unlike his Lieutenant and yet _so_ like Riza to deadpan about something so ridiculous. He couldn't help himself and began laughing. He also noticed that she had perked up at the sound of his laughter, leaning forward to watch him. He couldn't quite place the underlying sentiment in her gaze but he liked it all the same.

Their drinks arrived first. He waited for her to take a sip before trying again.

'Are you okay, Riza?'

He saw the change in her immediately and he hated himself for causing it but he had to ask. He watched as she stared down into her tea, both hands wrapped around the warm mug as she contemplated her answer.

'Right now …' She finally said. 'I'm okay.'

Roy sighed. He knew she had found a way to reply truthfully but without revealing the secret. If right now, she was okay then what about all the other times when she so clearly wasn't? What about when he wasn't there? How did she spend her nights when she had trouble getting through her days? The thought worried him. Thinking of her struggling all alone in her tiny apartment during the night made his heart break.

She wasn't okay.

But how could he force her to talk to him when she was already suffering? When she was doing her best to keep whatever plagued her under wraps?

Their food arrived and he allowed her to eat in peace. He didn't want to hound her with questions when he'd bought her away to put her mind at ease. Once they had finished, they lingered over their drinks. Roy had ordered them both fresh cups. They still had a quarter of an hour left before they had to head back to the office.

He watched her toy with the handle of her mug, absent-mindedly chewing on her bottom lip, her eyes had a faraway look to them. They were filled with shadows. He had noticed that she had been doing that a lot lately – drifting off. As though something kept pulling her back to a darker place.

Under the table, he gently nudged her foot with the toe of his shoe and she glanced up at him, suddenly returning from wherever she had been. He watched as she smiled, his heart lifting at the realization that he had bought her back to the present and that she seemed grateful for it.

'I never thought you would need to resort to that again.' She teased.

And to hell with it, he decided as he reached behind their cups to stroke the back of her hand with his fingers. He was glad when she didn't pull away and instead seemed content to sit there, watching him.

It was something he used to do during their childhood. The dinners they shared with Master Hawkeye were always uncomfortable, especially when he was in a foul mood. His favourite hobby it seemed, was finding fault in whatever Riza did. It didn't matter how many times Roy had told her how much he liked her cooking or how amazing and kind she was. It seemed whenever her Father criticized her, she took it to heart – even though that criticism couldn't have been more blatantly further from the truth. He'd watch distraught, as she would shrink into herself, avoiding her Father's eye and his own.

He'd taken to nudging her gently under the table, over and over again until she'd finally looked at him. He had smiled reassuringly at her and later that night, when he was hugging her to him in his bed, he had told her to always remember how much he cherished her – even when her Father tried to put her down with his words.

'Don't' go believing that, Riza. Don't go off all alone.' Roy had pleaded with her. 'Just look at me when I touch you. Come back to me.'

Over the table, Roy watched as she reluctantly moved her hand away. 'We should be getting back, sir.'

Nodding, he signalled to the waitress who bought them the bill. Reaching for his wallet, he placed enough money to cover the cost of the meal and leave a generous tip without a second thought. Standing up, he glanced down at Riza and was surprised to see her suddenly looking so pale.

'Hey,' he said softly, reaching out a hand towards her, then thinking better of it and shoving it into his pocket instead. 'What is it?'

He gave her a moment, watched her blink before she looked guiltily up at him. 'Nothing, sir. Thank you for lunch.'

Silently, they headed back to the office. As the building came into view, he once again felt her move a little nearer to him and once again, he resisted the temptation to hold her close. What was rattling her so much about the place? But he knew better than to ask. He could tell her guard was back up from the way she stiffly held her shoulders and the neutral expression on her face. And once more, the Riza he had glimpsed in the coffee shop had gone off somewhere again.

 _Don't go_ , he wanted to say to her. _Come back to me, Riza_.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Thank you for the lovely reviews so far. Like I said before, this is my first FMA fic. So if there is anything you like or even don't like, please let me know. Any suggestions are welcome. That way I know whether I am on the right track or not.

Coming Undone  


The first week since her attack had been arduous. Riza had felt as though she was skittering on ice, always watching for the cracks, always too close to slipping. As she steadily progressed through her days, she had begun to feel a little stronger. She knew now what to expect – knew that she would be safe in the office even though the General still lurked in the building. She knew the Colonel would never let her go hungry during lunch breaks. Nor would he demand her to talk. Or hold it against her when she shied away from his gaze and sometimes – if they were alone, his touch. He seemed to understand she needed space and always gave her plenty, only venturing close when she softened towards him.

She didn't feel as fearful as she once had, walking into the building in the mornings or when leaving at the end of the day. She hadn't seen the General at all. She could only hope that he'd come to his senses and realised the damage he had caused to her. She hoped he was avoiding her the way she had been avoiding him. Then they would never, ever have to meet.

It was childish hope but she hoped with all her heart, nonetheless.

The nights still made her nervous. The darkness lured out her tightly locked fears, until they played on her mind freely while she lay in bed, trying to sleep. Sometimes she felt invisible hands on her in the gloom, making the slowly fading bruises on her hips and breasts prickle, causing her to shudder – as though the General's ghost had come back to play. On nights like those, she would longingly gaze at the phone on her bedside table, willing it to ring.

She so desperately wanted to talk to her Colonel. She wanted to curl up with the phone pressed against her ear, listening to his warm and comforting voice telling her everything would be okay. That one day soon, she would stop hurting and feel whole again. But of course, for that to happen, he would have to know …

And he could _never_ know.

He could never comfort her in the way she wanted him to, in the way she _needed_ when he didn't know the extent of the damage. This was her own battle. But that was okay, she was slowly fighting it. Just having him there in the office was more than enough. His presence made her feel better. As did the memory of him when she was alone during the nights.

She'd thought back to that Friday's lunch break again and again. It was uncanny how he had known exactly what she had needed. She remembered the way he'd look at her over the table, how soft his gaze at been – and she could have sworn, it wasn't _just_ the Colonel sitting before her but Roy. _Her_ Roy. The boy she had known and loved since her childhood. The boy who had spoken about changing the country for the better and one day, marrying her.

 _Tell me what you want_ , his words had strolled through her mind over and over.

 _You_ , she had wanted to say. _It's always been you._

But her lips had remained sealed.

At one point she had started to slip, losing her sense of reality – her mind had been dragged back to that night again and Roy had noticed. And he had bought her back using only a touch – innocent, friendly and reminiscent of their childhood. For the time being, he had anchored her to him and to reality and she had been grateful for that.

It happened again when the Colonel had paid for lunch. Suddenly, Riza was sitting at a different table, with a different man, someone who possessed a much darker intent. This one was smiling like a Cheshire Cat, cold grey eyes focusing on her lips, as he deliberately rolled his tongue over his teeth, saying 'I'll take care of dinner.' So that should mean …

 _Dessert's on you._

No.

Her fear was irrational and absurd but she couldn't help but think what the Colonel would expect from her now that he had paid for her? Now that he _had_ been paying for her all week, she suddenly realised. Money meant nothing. Men threw it away all too readily on women if it meant they could claim their bodies whenever they felt they were owed it. Would he too take what he felt was his now that she was indebted to him?

It was Roy's voice that had snapped her back to her senses and she had felt guilty and ashamed for even thinking such an awful thing. When she finally looked up into his dark gaze, she realised it was nothing like the General's. It could never _be_ anything like the General's. They were far too different. She could see the gentle concern within them and she hated herself for thinking of him like that. Roy would never take anything from her without her consent.

She knew this as surely as she knew the sun would rise tomorrow.

* * *

'Taking me out for lunch again, handsome?' Breda had joked on Monday morning.

To Riza's amusement, the Colonel had actually done what he had suggested during their first lunch together a couple of weeks back. He had begun taking his staff out for lunch breaks, alternating between Havoc, Breda and herself. Falman had politely declined the invitation, preferring to spend his lunch breaks outside on a bench with a cup of tea and a good book while Fuery – although he admired Mustang – felt far too intimidated to go on a one on one lunch with the Colonel just yet. Havoc and Breda had accepted enthusiastically.

At least this way, it didn't look too suspicious when people saw him having lunch with his Lieutenant every Tuesdays and Thursdays. Mondays were reserved for Breda and Fridays for Havoc. Whatever people assumed when they saw Colonel Roy Mustang dining with Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye was swept away by the rowdiness of Havoc and Breda during their days out with the Colonel. It helped create the perception that Roy Mustang loathed to dine alone.

On the days when the reluctant Colonel was dragged out of the office by one of his cheery men, it was Fuery (acting on Mustang's orders) who bought lunch to Riza's desk. She would thank him for it each time and he would get embarrassed and insist it was no trouble at all.

Wednesday lunch breaks were spent in the office. The Colonel would step out to buy them both something to eat before joining Riza at her desk. They always ensured there were files splayed open nearby so that they could claim they were working on something complicated through their break if someone were to walk in and see them sitting so close together.

She wondered how she could ever explain to him how grateful she was that he was going through all this trouble just for her. All the doubts that she had in the past where she had wondered whether he cared about her – especially now, that they had crossed the line to subordinate and commanding officer were washed away by his actions. She knew now that he still loved her – she could feel the deep affection he held for her in every covert glance, every stolen caress.

Riza had firmly informed him that she wanted to pay her share despite his assurance that there was no need. At her insistence however, he had grudgingly relented and allowed her to pay on Tuesdays. Wednesdays they shared and Thursdays were his treat. She knew he would never expect anything in return for the food he bought her and the kindness he showed but she felt better all the same. Allowing him to pay for everything wasn't fair on him, after all.

Besides, Havoc and Breda were probably eating him into bankruptcy.

Roy made her heart flutter with his closeness and against her better judgement – they were at work, someone could see them, this was against the rules – she allowed him his moments. Sometimes his dark eyes would simply trail her as she walked around the office, other times she would let him stand a little too near as he leaned forward, looking over her shoulder to check something she had written on some report. Then there were times when he would intentionally brush his fingers against hers as she passed him something and during the end of the day, he would help her into her overcoat, smoothing out the creases in the material over her shoulders with slow, deliberate movements, his hands lingering on her a few seconds too long.

He didn't question her anymore and she was grateful for it. Maybe he noticed she wasn't as fragile as she had appeared during that first week back. Maybe he thought he could heal her with his touch alone and that words weren't necessary. Or maybe he respected her enough to think that she would simply tell him, when and if she was ready. He seemed content to take her as she was … but he still watched after her, the concern almost disguising the melancholy in his eyes.

Almost.

Every time she caught him looking at her like that, it made her heart wrench.

* * *

'Riza, try this.'

'I'm fine, _sir._ But thank you, anyway.' She replied, professional as ever. Making sure she emphasized the title.

She wasn't about to forgo ranks the way he seemed to do when they were alone. Besides, she was already letting him press his thigh up against hers while they were sitting side by side, having lunch. She had to retain some semblance of professionalism even though Roy was determined to blur the lines at times. It was Wednesday and he'd come back with sandwiches, fruit and hot drinks. And a surprise from the bakery.

Now, he was holding up a forkful of soft, creamy looking cheesecake, tantalisingly close to her lips. She could practically smell the sweetness. She pressed her lips together and glared at him. Somebody could walk in at any moment. What would they think if they were to see her being fed _cake_ by her commanding officer?

She shook her head at him, which in turn made him give her a beseeching look as he wiggled the fork teasingly near her lips. Riza sighed, exasperated. The sooner she took a bite, the sooner he would stop playing this silly game. Making sure the door to their office remained firmly closed, she leaned forward, opening her mouth to accept the cake.

Roy grinned at her as he watched her swallow, using the same fork to take a bite himself. He kept his gaze locked on hers as he placed it in his mouth, savouring the taste for a moment, before drawing it out again slowly, so that there was no trace of cream left on the fork. Riza watched him silently, feeling a blush steadily creep up on to her face.

'You know,' Roy said, thoughtfully, keeping his voice low. 'It's almost like we're kissing.'

Riza had just taken a sip of cool water, anything to dispel the redness in her cheeks and his comment had her spluttering. He rubbed her back soothingly as she regained control of herself and as soon as he saw that she was okay, he placed both the slice of cake and his fork in front of her, before getting up to return to his own desk. She could hear his trail of laughter.

Ten minutes later, when she had grudgingly decided to accept his peace offering, she found herself wondering – if he kissed her now, would he taste as sweet as the cake?

* * *

On Friday, later that week, the Colonel was called out of the office, mid-morning. Riza had glanced up at him as he'd left but hadn't dwelled too much on it. It wasn't unusual, after all. It could have been for any reason from sitting in on a meeting to going over the paperwork he'd submitted the previous week. However, when he still hadn't returned almost two hours later, Riza began to feel worried. What was taking so long? Was there an emergency somewhere? She should have asked to accompany him …

A little while later, Havoc excused himself for a latrine break. He wandered back in fifteen minutes later as the other men were getting ready to head out for their lunch breaks.

'Lieutenant Hawkeye.' He saluted, before dropping down to lean on her desk. He was one of the few that had the ability to get away with it. They had known each other for a long time and when they were alone, she was lenient when he shifted from Second Lieutenant Havoc, to just Jean Havoc. The kind-hearted, idiotic young man that she had met during her time in academy.

'Colonel says we should go out for lunch today instead.' Havoc said, already fingering the cigarette pack in his pocket.

* * *

'So you've spoken to him?' They were outside, on their way to the same café on 5th. What she really wanted to ask was whether the Colonel was alright and what he was doing but she refrained. It wasn't fair to put Havoc on the spot by demanding answers, especially considering the fact that he may not know much at all. Maybe he'd only been given the order.

'Yeah.' Havoc took a deep drag from his cigarette with a practiced ease before blowing out the smoke with obvious pleasure. 'Dunno what's going on, Lieutenant. But he looked pretty pissed off.'

Riza kept silent. She hated being so far away from the Colonel when something was so obviously happening. At least if she had stayed at her desk, they would have still been in the same building. She could have run to him if necessary. But then maybe he knew he was going to be tied up for a while. Maybe that's why he had asked Havoc to take her out for lunch.

To save her from having to sit at her desk for hours, worrying needlessly about him.

At the café, Havoc led her to a table near the window and they both sat down. This was good. They were in full view of anyone passing on the street as well as the entire café. It couldn't hurt to let people see her with one of the other men from her team for a change rather than the Colonel himself.

After they had placed their orders, Riza found herself gazing earnestly at the table tucked away in the corner, the one she always shared with the Colonel. She wanted to see him, wanted to make sure he was okay. It was Havoc's voice that bought her back from her thoughts.

'There's something I've been meaning to ask you, Riza.' He began, looking solemn. 'And I would appreciate it if you were honest with me.'

She could feel a lump forming in her throat, dreading what he was about to ask. Had he picked up on her behavior recently? Would he ask why she refused to visit the canteen during lunch breaks or why she was quieter than usual? Had he seen her leave with the General that night?

'So there's this girl.' The seriousness on Havoc's face was swept away by a love-sick, puppy dog look. 'Her name's Sarah and she works in the flower shop on East Street. I see her every day on my way to work …'

Riza sighed inwardly, feeling her apprehension melt away. Throughout their meal, she listened to him talk about how he tried to get to know the lovely women with the flowers, how they had gently flirted with each other every morning, how she appeared interested and yet shied away from him whenever he tried to invite her out on a date.

As Havoc talked, she felt her fondness for him grow. It was a relief to have her mind occupied like this with something completely different. She listened carefully, trying her best to give him her honest opinion.

'So tell me,' he said, looking despondent. 'Do you think I'm wasting my time?'

'Not at all.' She had replied, taking a sip of her tea. 'You need to take things slow. Why don't you invite her to go for a walk first?'

'Yeah, that's right. Start slow.' He cheered up immediately, giving a sudden laugh. 'Guess if I invited her for a walk rather than a full on dinner date, it would give her a chance to run away if she didn't like me!'

'How could she _not_ like you?' Riza had smiled.

When they entered the office after lunch, Riza was distressed to see that the Colonel _still_ hadn't returned. She took her seat at her desk, along with the other men and started working. The others didn't comment at the absence but she could tell they were all wondering. She couldn't help but glance over at the Colonel's desk every now and then. She was so accustomed to seeing him there, that it felt strange to see it empty all of a sudden – and stranger still, to know that it _had_ been empty for hours now.

One more hour. She resolved to give him one more hour and if he wasn't back by then, she would go and look for him. She was supposed to be his bodyguard, after all. Nobody would question it. With that thought in mind, she picked up her pen and started writing, determined to finish the report as quickly as possible.

Riza's hour hadn't quite yet been up before the door to the office slammed open. She watched startled, as the Colonel stalked in, looking like thunder.

'Sir!' Every single one of the men in the room stood to attention as did she, saluting smartly. The outrage emitting from his demeanour was almost tangible and she was well aware that the other men could sense it too. She watched as he ignored his men, focusing in on her instead. She couldn't quite remember seeing his eyes look so dark and dangerous before.

'Lieutenant Hawkeye.' His voice betrayed nothing of his infuriation. 'I would like a word. In private, if you will.'

Without so much as a pause, he turned back to leave the office. Riza had simply nodded once before doing as instructed. She ignored the sympathetic glances from the other men as she left the office, trailing after her Colonel in silence.

He led her wordlessly down the corridor. She couldn't help but wonder what had happened, what was _going_ to happen and how this affected them both. She knew something _had_ happened in order for him to react in such a way. She could feel her heart slowly start to sink as he opened the door to an empty meeting room and ushered her inside.

When he turned to face her once more, she could tell that he had tried to calm himself down and she knew it was only for her benefit. He regarded her in silence for a few moments, deep contemplation obvious in his stillness. She longed to ask him what was wrong but she knew she was facing Colonel Roy Mustang right now and not _her_ Roy – the one who smiled at her, teased her and bought her lunch. She held herself in check, remembering her place. She patiently waited but still he did not speak.

'Sir?' She finally questioned, hesitantly.

'I thought it was appropriate that you be the first to know, Lieutenant.' Mustang began, his voice low. 'A request has been made for your transfer to another commanding officer.'

She was absolutely aghast. She couldn't imagine being under someone else's command. She had promised Roy Mustang that she would remain by his side, that she would watch his back, that she would follow him – even into hell. The fact that such an important promise could be broken by an order from someone higher up in command was devastating.

If anything were to test them in their loyalty to each other, it should have been the world itself and all its obstacles and not some man sitting in an office somewhere. It was unfair that she would be taken from him by words alone. But then, she was naive to think that this _hadn't_ been a possibility from the very beginning. Commands changed all the time, soldiers were transferred all the time – why would it be any different for them?

'May I ask who issued the request, sir?' Riza spoke quietly, resisting the urge step forward so that she could bury her face into his chest and sob.

Mustang didn't answer right away. His silence stretched on as she gazed up at him curiously. She couldn't quite place the expression on his handsome features. She searched his eyes and for once, they were unreadable to her – she couldn't pick out a single emotion within them. And she hated that.

When he finally replied, his tone was strange and she had the sudden notion that he knew far more than he was letting on.

'General Trent Kaizer.'


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** The reason why I have been able to post on three consecutive days is because of the weekend. During next week, I may not be able to update every single day or even every other day. However, I promise you won't be left more than three days without an update. Also, just to mention, can you believe this entire fic was only supposed to be a one-shot? xD

Coming Undone

That _bastard._

Riza couldn't believe he had the audacity to request a transfer – especially after what he had done to her. On some level, she had known that barely seeing the General at Central Command had been too good to be true. She had only managed to hide from him because he'd _let_ her, she now realised. If he had wanted to see her, he would have found a way. He'd only let her _think_ she had some control of the situation when in reality, she had no control at all. His request for her transfer was proof of that in itself.

She'd spent the last few days, flitting between anger and terror. One evening had been spent exhausting her supply of ammunition at the shooting range. Each shot had echoed comfortingly in her ears. This is where her strength lay. This is how she was able to protect herself and the people she cared about. However, there would be no pistols to hand when the General decided to take her – and he _would_ take her, she feared. She couldn't shoot him and claim it to be self-defence because then the whole sorry story would come out. She would be the talk of the military; she would be humiliated.

It had taken absolutely everything she had _not_ to fall apart in front of the Colonel when he'd revealed the news. She had wanted him to say something to her, to comfort her but he had remained professional. She had found herself worrying that maybe he had found something out, that the General may have let something slip about the night they had shared. Was _that_ the reason for his anger? She was too afraid to ask him.

The rest of that day had been spent in uncomfortable silence. For once, she couldn't wait to leave the office. When the end of the day approached, the other men practically ran out the door, each one bidding her a quick good night along with a concerned glance. Just as she was about to step out herself, the Colonel had finally spoken – addressing her quietly.

'Do you wish to stay by my side, Lieutenant?'

She had taken a deep breath before answering, wondering when she would ever have the nerve to tell him that she _always_ wanted to remain by his side, even when both their military careers were long over. She wanted to stay by his side until her very last breath.

'Of course, sir.' She had simply nodded instead.

'Good.' He had finally given her a tight smile. 'Then I will fight for you.'

* * *

Colonel Roy Mustang had spent his last few days in a foul mood. He had tried to hide his displeasure in the office as he didn't want Riza seeing him and feeling even worse than she already was and his men were anxious enough. He had finally told them the news and had been pleased to hear that their sentiments over the situation matched his exactly.

'You should roast that fucker, Chief.' Breda had so eloquently suggested.

Surprisingly, even Fuery had agreed, looking the fiercest Roy had ever seen him. Falman had expressed his concern politely. And Havoc had simply lit up a cigarette right there in the office.

His evenings were spent drinking alone, cursing that damn General Kaizer and resisting the urge to call Riza to assure her that everything would be okay. That he would make certain everything turned out okay even if that meant _burning_ the General to a crisp.

He wondered whether the General had tried to make a move on his Lieutenant after they had left the bar and whether this was some form of revenge for her having rejected his advances? Riza had said so very little about that night. On one hand, he felt like a hypocrite asking her what had possessed her to leave with such a man, especially when he himself traipsed in and out of bars with different women every week. On the other, he wanted to take her in his arms and have her explain what had happened that night, because he knew something _had_ happened and she was still so clearing hurting over it.

Not once did he ever consider the possibility of the General having hurt her in an intimate way. His mind simply hadn't allowed that thought to even flicker. It could never happen to her, not his beautiful and gentle Riza. It must be something else …

Still, Roy hadn't like the way the General had spoken about his Lieutenant when he had been called into the meeting regarding the transfer, nor had he liked the predatory glint in his gaze. Before that night when he had seen Kaizer talking to Riza in the bar, Roy hadn't known much about the man behind the uniform but since then, he'd done some digging around and the very little he had discovered, he hadn't liked one bit. Some General, indeed.

There was no way in hell, Roy was going to let him take his Lieutenant.

Transfers were slow enough thanks to the paperwork involved. However, when the commanding officer didn't agree with the request, it became a little more difficult. When the person who issued the request was a _higher_ ranking officer than the existing commanding officer of the transfer in question, things tended to get more complicated. And in Mustang's case, very heated.

He had vehemently denied the transfer in that first meeting. This had then resulted in a series of further meetings being held over the coming week. The Council would then meet to determine the case after hearing statements from both the existing commanding officer and the issuer of the request. Annoyingly enough, the final meeting was scheduled on the Friday of the week after, meaning time spent in agonizing uncertainty for Riza, himself and of course, the rest of the men who all happened to be very fond of their First Lieutenant.

It had pained him to watch Riza during the next week. He knew she was deeply troubled and that she hadn't been sleeping well again due to the dark circles beneath her eyes. He longed to touch her, ease her worries away but he didn't dare get too close right now as he knew he was being watched by the other higher ranked officers. The ones who deemed it strange that he was fighting so hard to keep his Lieutenant under his command.

Fuery and Falman took over his lunch dates with Riza on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He had wanted everyone to witness his Lieutenant spending time with each member of their team, hopefully indicating part of the reason why he loathed to let her go was because she was an integral member of their squadron. And not because he loved her so.

Wednesdays were the only day they had together during lunch breaks. But even then, they had stopped talking. He would simply sit by her side, stroking her hand comfortingly as she listlessly picked at her food. He knew she would never reveal her worries to him out loud but she didn't have to. He could hear them loud enough within her pained silence.

On Thursday, the day before the final meeting, he watched silently as Riza excused herself to go search for something in the archive room. When she didn't return twenty minutes later, he began to grow concerned.

* * *

Riza felt as though she couldn't breathe. She mentally instructed herself to take a few deep breaths but it wasn't working. Her throat felt tight and she resisted the urge to claw at the high collar of her uniform. She couldn't be seen falling apart at her desk. The Colonel and the rest of the men were worried enough about her. She could tell from the way they kept glancing at her. And so she had excused herself – in a tight, pinched voice – to the archives room.

It would be dimly lit, quiet and more importantly, private. Somewhere she could go to pull herself together. Another blessing was that the heavy, metal door leading to the archives led the visitor through a long corridor, before it reached the main section of the room meaning, she would hear someone not only opening that door but approaching as well – giving her ample time to regain her composure and behave as though she was simply there, searching for an old record.

Once safely in the room, she unfastened the top few buttons of her collar, before leaning back against the wall and taking in as much oxygen as possible. Her skin crawled at the thought of how different things may be if the meeting tomorrow went against their favour. How long would the transfer take? The paperwork usually slowed it down by a couple of weeks but if the General desperately wanted her then he could demand that it was processed faster.

This could very well mean that she could be in _his_ office, serving under _his_ command by this time next week.

The thought made her want to scream

These thoughts weren't helping at all. She had escaped to calm herself down but now her breaths were coming out faster, in a furious race against her thumping heart. The room had begun to feel smaller and smaller. She needed air, fresh air. She tried to make her way out of the room but it felt as though the bookcases had begun moving, trying to trap her in.

She stood still, closing her eyes – she had to calm herself now before things got worse. If someone walked in on her having a panic attack, word would get back to the office and she didn't want to worry the Colonel and the rest of the men even more than she had already.

She thought about Roy instead, conjuring up his image in her mind. She thought about how it would feel to have his arms around her. She thought about how solid and warm he looked, the way his coal-dark eyes gazed at her with so much concern and affection, the way he smiled when he teased her, how gentle his fingers felt on her hand when he tried to comfort her.

She suddenly heard the heavy door to the archive room open and close, heard footsteps walking down the corridor towards her. Her heart had begun to slow down as had her breathing, she waited until the last moment to open her eyes, wanting desperately to hang on to the image of the Colonel in her mind. It was the one thing keeping her sane.

When she finally opened her eyes, she found herself wondering whether she actually _had_ in fact, opened her eyes at all. The Colonel stood in front of her, looking exactly the way he had in her mind. He had that same concerned look on his features as he drew closer – so close she could have reached out her hand and laid it flat on to his chest. He was close enough for her to faintly smell his cologne and to feel the warmth radiating off him. As she looked up into his eyes, she felt her heart flutter, followed by a sudden, deep throb of desire between her legs.

It had come so unexpectedly that she gasped, unable to stop herself from stepping forward and meeting his lips with her own. If he had been surprised by her gesture, he hadn't shown it. Instead his arms wasted no time in wrapping themselves around her and she delighted in the fact that her fantasies of being in his arms had finally come true.

His tongue teased at her lips and she granted him access, moaning softly when his tongue met hers, coaxing her to play. She obliged happily, sighing into his mouth in pleasure. He tasted of coffee and vanilla. She clung to him as they broke the kiss, his lips moved to her jawline instead, before travelling further down, leaving a trail of butterfly kisses until they reached her neck. His mouth was warm and wet upon her skin, his tongue gently teased at her sensitive spot and she found herself smiling – he'd still remembered after all these years.

Her breathing became rapid once more but this time she didn't care. It wasn't panic reducing her to this state, it was _him_ – and that was more than okay with her. When he finally drew back, her neck was tingling pleasantly and she licked her lips, wanting to kiss him again.

His hand hovered over her breast, asking for silent permission and she simply smiled up at him and leaned into his touch. He cupped her gently, letting his hand settle over her breast before slowly massaging her through the heavy material of her uniform. She felt her nipple harden immediately under his touch and she moaned, burying her face into his chest.

He dropped a kiss to the top of her head, his fingers entwined in her hair. She stayed as she was for the time being until she felt his hand travel down her back, before falling lower to rest of her buttocks. He gave her a moment, in case she wanted to pull away but when she remained relaxed within his arms, he squeezed her gently which made her shuffle even closer towards him. She reached up to kiss him once more, her hands playing with his hair at the nape of his neck.

The kiss was deeper this time, his tongue drawing out her moans with surprising ease. Minutes passed before she was forced to pull away by her need for oxygen. She ended the kiss by nibbling teasingly on his lower lip, giving it a gentle tug with her teeth. When she looked up at him again, he was breathing hard, his gaze was practically smouldering in the dim lighting. She could see the desire in his eyes and it made her feel weak and so terribly, terribly _wanted._

He drew her back in again, lips meeting lips in a passionate kiss. This time, his hands roamed everywhere, his touch making her feel as though she was the most precious thing to him in the world. She responded by sinking her fingers tightly into his rich, dark hair, loving how soft it felt. He kissed her until she was mewling with need, before moving down to her neck once more.

She felt his body press itself against her and she marvelled at how hard and solid his chest was, causing her to run her hands up and down it, wondering what it would look and feel like without the barrier of clothing between them. She suddenly felt his hand between her legs, causing her to whimper as he stroked her through her uniform, his fingers just as gentle as they had been when he had been caressing her own hand the day before during lunch.

'More?' He murmured to her in a husky voice, his lips ghosting over her ear, the way they had at the bar. Except this time, he allowed his tongue to trace the shell of her ear, making her shiver. She hummed her acquiescence into his neck and he guided her back to lean against the wall.

She didn't have much time to worry about the thought of anyone walking in on them. They would hear the door, surely – even through this haze of desire? Any more thoughts about where they were and what they were doing was driven far from her mind as Roy began kissing her once more, his mouth hot and demanding against hers.

She could tell his restraint was slipping by the urgency of his kisses and the way his hands had begun to roam her body once more. He had removed the hand between her legs in favour of himself, pressing himself flush against her body before he began moving, sensually rubbing himself against her. With every rock of his hips, she could feel the friction through their clothes, sending delicious jolts of electric pleasure through her.

'Riza …' He murmured her name, over and over, his lips never straying too far from her ear which he had begun to suck and nibble on. He was definitely losing control and this became crystal clear when he suddenly pressed himself up against her hard, his erection digging into her.

It made her gasp, the feel of it so close to her entrance (only the material of their uniforms were keeping them separated for now) - the sensation drawing her back, _forcing_ her back to relive that night with the General when she had felt the head of his massive shaft force its way into her. For now, it didn't matter that it was Roy between her legs and not _him,_ the fear felt all too real. Riza cried out, her entire body trembling.

Her reaction was strong enough to halt Roy's movements, causing him to move back so he could look down at her. Through her tear filled eyes, she could see the surprise and confusion in his gaze before it was replaced with concern. These days, he always seemed concerned about her. She hated being so weak in front of him.

'I'm sorry,' She whispered. 'I can't do this.'

'It's alright, Riza.' His voice remained gentle when he continued, 'you don't have to.'

She was shaking uncontrollably and he tried to embrace her. Even though she knew the gesture was to comfort her and that it possessed no sexual intent whatsoever, she couldn't help but flinch away from him. She couldn't be here with him. She needed to be alone, she needed to think, needed to figure out why her body had responded in such a way to Roy, after what the General had done to her.

'Riza, please.' He tried again.

'No!' Her voice was louder this time, stronger. 'Stop this, _Colonel._ '

Roy stepped back, looking stung and she knew she had hurt him. She hated herself for causing him pain by throwing his title back in his face, and creating distance between them when he had only been trying to comfort her. But she had to get away from him before she broke down completely. Because if _this_ continued, surely he would be able to look at her and realise that she had been damaged, that she had been ruined by another man.

'Let me go …' She finished softly.

Once again his expression was unreadable, she could feel him shift back to Colonel Mustang again. He averted his gaze from her, holding out his arm towards the door, indicating she was free to leave. When he spoke, his voice was carefully kept neutral.

'I'm sorry, Lieutenant.' The heaviness in his words didn't escape her. 'It was my mistake.'

* * *

Later that evening, when she lay curled up in her bed, she couldn't help but replay the entire episode in her head. She hadn't meant to make the first move on the Colonel – but she'd been thinking of him so very much and when he'd found her in that archive room, her instincts had taken over. She could tell he'd been on the verge of saying something to her as his lips had been gently parted, but she hadn't given him a chance. She had kissed him first.

She had tried to keep her mind blissfully empty as she concentrated on the feel of his warm lips against hers and the way his gentle hands had touched her body. She had liked that he had silently sought her permission before crossing various lines. She had felt safe and protected in his arms even though his kisses had grown rougher, the more excited he became. Rougher yes, but never forceful. He had always allowed her to breath when she'd needed to.

He hadn't suffocated her the way the General had.

Surely feeling any kind of desire towards _anyone_ was wrong so soon after the attack? In the back of her mind, she had always assumed it would take months, possibly years to get over what her body and mind had been put through. A few weeks ago, the thought of anyone touching her in that way had been repulsing.

But it had been different with Roy.

She had found herself growing wet under his touch, especially when his fingers had moved to caress her between her legs. It had felt so good but then she had thought about the way the General had fingered her that night. She'd felt disgusted with herself when she remembered how he had managed to bring her to an orgasm. Did that mean she had enjoyed _that_ experience just as much as she had when Roy had touched her? Her body had betrayed her, becoming warm and wet when he had started touching her – surely that was what had encouraged the General? Is that why he had hinted at it being mutual?

But that had only been later, her mind argued. When he had decided to enter her first, she had been dry and it had been painful. He had forced his way in and her body had certainly not been inviting _then_. He'd manipulated her body into thinking she wanted it. But the truth was, she hadn't enjoyed it and she hadn't asked for it.

She tried to imagine if she would ever feel comfortable enough to allow Roy to do that to her without clothes acting as a barrier between them. If she closed her eyes, would she feel his gentle touch? Or would she be transported back to _that_ night again and again, feeling a different hand upon her flesh, taking away her control and self-respect?

Slowly, her hand moved down her body and crept under the elastic of her pyjama bottoms, before slipping into her underwear. She cautiously traced her fingers over her lips, shivering at her own touch before slipping them inside. She was still wet. She gently began to massage herself, keeping her eyes closed and her mind deliberately blank.

What did it feel like?

Did it feel like her own touch? Did it feel the way it had when Roy had touched her? Or were her fingers behaving in the same way as the General's had?

Would there ever be a time when she would stop comparing every intimate touch to the ones she had experienced when he had defiled her? She wondered what the General would think if he saw her now and almost immediately, she withdrew her hand away from herself, feeling guilty. Shoving her hand under her pillow, she forced herself to try and sleep.

But she couldn't.

All she could think about was how she had pushed away the one person she loved, how she had left him there, in desperate need of release. She couldn't give him what he wanted. An adult man wouldn't be satisfied with kissing and cuddling while lying in bed. He would want sex and it was something she didn't think she could give him. It wasn't fair to ask him to stay with her. It hurt, but she realised that one day, she would need to let him go.

Suddenly, crying herself to sleep had become the norm and not the exception.

* * *

The next morning, Riza was a bundle of nerves. Not only due to the meeting and its outcome but at the thought of seeing the Colonel again. She so desperately wanted to see him and at the same time, she was afraid to see him, afraid of how he would behave around her now that she had hurt him. Would he still fight to keep her in that meeting? When she reached the office, she was disappointed to see the Colonel's chair empty. She found herself staring at his desk, feeling his absence far more deeply than she should. One by one the others trailed in, greeting her as they did so. Each one of the men had too, glanced at the Colonel's desk in silence.

'Guess the Chief's kicking ass right about now.' Breda had commented finally, but his voiced lacked the usual bravado.

The day began and they all started working. But of course, none of them could really concentrate. Riza had noticed each of the men eyeing the clock on the wall and then glancing at her. She kept her head down, kept her pen moving across the page but her mind was frantic behind her calm exterior. What was going on in that meeting? Why was it taking so long?

Another hour and a half passed, before the door to the office opened. They each watched Colonel Mustang walk in and they all immediately stood to attention and saluted. Riza tried desperately to figure out what had happened by studying his features but he had kept his face deliberately blank. Calmly walking over to his desk, he stood behind it. Folding his arms elegantly over his chest, he regarded his team with a hard look.

'I would like to inform you all that you're under _my_ command. And that you will remain under my command until I deem otherwise. If you have any problems with that, you can take it up with the Fuhrer himself.' Finally, he looked over at Riza, a slight smirk settling over his features. 'The request for your transfer has been denied, Lieutenant.'

Riza hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath until she found herself suddenly exhaling hard, once she'd heard the news. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so ecstatic. Despite everything that had occurred during the previous day between them, she smiled warmly at him, her heart lifting. He had fought for her. He still wanted her.

'Thank you, sir.' She could hear the joy seeping into her voice as she saluted him once more.

'My pleasure, Lieutenant.'

The other men it seemed, had momentarily forgotten they were soldiers and had whooped at the news. Havoc had given Riza a sudden hug before leading her around the office in a quick dance. This wasn't professional, she had wanted to tell him but then she had been reduced to laughing herself, when she saw Breda give the Colonel a friendly dig in the side.

'I never doubted you for a second, Chief!'

'Yeah, right!' Havoc scoffed, still dancing with Riza.

'If I recall correctly …' Falman began.

'You were going to go kick all their asses if the Colonel failed to keep the Lieutenant with us!' Fuery finished, grinning.

'Shaddup!' Breda growled. 'So it wasn't one of my finer plans, sue me!'

Even the Colonel seemed to be in a good mood despite the way the conversation had begun. He smirked at them all. 'I think this calls for a celebration.'

The rest of the day passed with an almost festive air in the office. Riza couldn't remember the last time the Colonel had looked so relaxed, sitting at his desk. These last two weeks had found him, overworked, hunched over it, trying to find a way to keep his team together – so the fact that he was lounging back in his chair right now (doing what Breda had so politely called 'fuck all') make her want to smile.

At the end of the day, they had planned to go out for a drink to celebrate. Riza had tried not to shudder even though she couldn't help but think what had happened the last time their night had started off like this. It had ended up being one of the worst nights of her life. But she firmly shook away that thought. They needed to celebrate. Victories like these didn't come too often – especially when it concerned a higher ranking officer and an order – and the Colonel had worked hard to ensure she hadn't been taken away.

She couldn't imagine how he'd pulled it off but he had. She was more than willing to do whatever he suggested, she wanted to give him that much, at least. She firmly promised herself that she would not leave the bar with anyone else that night – not matter what. She would swallow her pride and ask the Colonel or one of her men to walk her home.

The Colonel led them out of the building. The men trooped after him, making a racket as usual. Riza smiled as she followed behind. They really were the most idiotic yet kind men she'd ever had the pleasure to work with.

Suddenly, something made her stop. She had the distinct feeling as though she was being watched. Feeling a chill, she looked back and felt her gaze lock on to a pair of familiar eyes, glinting in the gloom of an open doorway. The light in the room wasn't switched on and the person had been standing in darkness. Her mouth went dry when she realized why the gaze was so familiar. It was the same pair of eyes she had been haunted by in her nightmares. Finally, the figure stepped forward.

It was General Trent Kaizer.

Involuntarily, she felt herself gasp – catching Breda's attention, as he had been the closest to her.

'Hey Lieutenant?' He began, before his own gaze followed hers to settle on the silent General. The sight caused him to make a rude noise in his throat before he spoke to Riza in a lower voice. 'You're stuck with us, remember? Forget that fucker. He ain't having you.'

When Riza didn't move, he gently placed his hand on her arm and led her away from the General's gaze to catch up with the rest of their team.

 _Oh Breda_ , she found herself thinking. _If only I could be so sure._


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** I was itching to post this chapter last night but my internet connection disagreed with me. Apologies for the horrendous length of this chapter. Thank you for the lovely reviews. And another thing, when I started this story - I only had Royai in mind. I was so excited that I actually managed to leave out a few details. Like, Black Hayate, as one reviewer mentioned. Also, where are the Elrics? Mustang mentioned a Fuhrer, but _which_ Fuhrer? Bradley? Another nameless Fuhrer for the purpose of this story? And last but not least, is Hughes alive? I'm sorry I forgot to take care of these details in my haste to write Royai. I've come to the conclusion that Hughes can't possibly be alive because if he were, Mustang would have sought advice from him about Riza. And it won't work if I try and cram in the Elrics, Black Hayate or anything else I haven't yet mentioned so much later into the story. I've purposely left a few things ambiguous so you can fill in the blanks any way you like. Enough prattling from me. Just a reminder, this is a big fat M rating of a story!

Coming Undone

To Riza's relief, they had ended up in a different bar this time. This one was bigger, with more civilians than soldiers but nobody else seemed to notice or care. It hadn't been too crowded when they'd first walked in but it had been early still. Once again they had found themselves a table towards the back and the Colonel had bought the first round at the bar.

This time Riza had found herself wedged in between Havoc and Fuery. It seemed as though the Colonel had purposely kept his distance – not that she could blame him after the way she had pushed him away. However, his mood hadn't seemed affected by that incident in the slightest and he chatted and joked with her as though they were old friends, the same way he did with the rest of the team. Several times she had caught him looking at her with that same affectionate gaze, and she had suddenly come to the realization that his feelings for her hadn't changed and that she hasn't completely pushed him away. That he didn't want to be far from her at all and the only reason he'd kept himself from moving closer, was to give her space.

As the night grew darker, the drinks continued to flow. Riza found herself drinking a little faster than usual, as glass after glass kept being pushed in front of her. It was a ridiculous reason and under normal circumstances, she would have politely declined them – or at least asked them to slow down. However, tonight was about celebrating _their_ victory. The others seemed content to drink away into the night and a small part of her had wanted to let herself go, just a little. Just for once.

Besides she felt safe, sitting there, surrounded by the team. At first the General's sudden appearance back when she had been leaving Central Command had thrown her, shaken her. But Breda had been there to take her away. She could still remember his gruff words and she had found herself smiling at him later that night in sheer gratitude. If he hadn't been there, she would have stayed frozen to the spot, unable to look away. And the General may have approached her.

Or worse, the Colonel may have noticed.

'I'll walk you home, Lieutenant.' Roy said, much later that night. They were standing outside the bar, waiting for the others. He was expecting Riza to refuse his offer, assuring him that she didn't want him going to the trouble of walking her home – which was at least half a dozen blocks in the opposite direction to where he himself lived, but for once, she hadn't.

She'd simply smiled up at him and thanked him.

Which made it easier because there was no way in hell he would have allowed her to walk home by herself at something past two in the morning – soldier or not. He took a moment to study her flushed cheeks and tousled hair, before reaching out to tenderly brush a few strands away from her eyes. He could see that her pupils were dilated as she blinked up at him.

'I never knew you were such a lush,' he softly teased.

'I am no such thing.' She stood up straighter, tried to glare at him and failed miserably.

He found himself chuckling. The fresh air would do her the world of good and hopefully, by the time they reached her apartment she would be feeling more like herself. He'd been wanting to speak to her for the past couple of days but hadn't had the chance due to all that had been going on. He felt awful about what had happened in the archive room and wanted to clear the air. He didn't want Riza hurting or afraid. And he certainly didn't want her tiptoeing around him. The memory of her tear filled eyes sent a pang through his heart but he brushed it aside for now. They would talk later.

Behind him, he finally heard the others clamour out from the crowded bar. They all said their farewells before heading off in different directions. Falman and Breda took off first, followed by Havoc who had taken it upon himself to guide home a partially drunk and sleepy Fuery.

'Shall we?' Roy asked.

Riza nodded. They walked through the dark, empty streets in relative silence. At first, he watched her out of the corner of his eye, checking that she wasn't about to stumble but her steps were sure and steady. He could feel her shiver every time a cold breeze swept through the streets and he resisted the urge to put his arm around her shoulders, to encourage her to burrow into his side to keep warm. They were still wearing their uniforms and he was pretty well known around Central. It wouldn't do well now – not after what had happened at work – to be seen strolling down the street with his arm around his Lieutenant at this late hour.

He'd been surprised when Riza had stepped up to kiss him in the archive room. During the last few weeks, he'd always been the one to make the first move – whether he was caressing her, teasing her or reaching out for her hand – so to have his Lieutenant make such a bold move had definitely been surprising. Though he hadn't dwelled too much on that. Not when she had been so willing in his arms.

Those months and years of longing had finally caught up with him in that moment, causing him to hold her tight and kiss her so very deeply. He couldn't stop himself from pressing up against her, his body suddenly aching for her touch. She'd cuddled up to him and he had been delighted when she had given him permission to touch her intimately. His hands had roamed over her body, caressing each curve and swell as though she was something to be cherished.

When his hand had slipped lower, she had begun to tremble with need in his arms. He hadn't been able to resist grinding himself against her. Each movement had caused the stirring in the pit of his stomach to grow stronger. Caught up in the moment, he'd pressed himself up against her hard, his erection making its presence felt. She'd been so willing and he had heard every one of her soft moans, encouraging him along so the sudden change in her had left him confused and distressed.

He hadn't meant to but he knew he'd hurt her somehow.

The walk felt as though it had passed all too quickly for Roy, when they found themselves outside Riza's apartment building. He cocked his head at her and smiled, noticing that the haze in her eyes had cleared. The walk through the chilly night had seemed to invigorate her and he was glad for that. He certainly hadn't wanted to leave her alone and drunk in her empty apartment. Riza edged away from him and for a moment, he thought that she would simply go inside without saying a word.

But then she smiled at him. 'Would you like to come in for a while?'

* * *

'I've hurt you, haven't I?'

They were sitting opposite each other at the tiny dining table, with mugs of hot tea between them. Roy watched as she stared down into her tea, her hands wrapped tightly around her mug for warmth. Her apartment was cold and he could see the slight tremble in her shoulders.

'No, it wasn't your fault.' She spoke softly, finally looking up at him. 'I kissed _you_ , remember?'

'Yeah, but I took it too far.' He tugged his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes briefly. His head had begun to pound. The tea had started to soothe away the alcoholic buzz but not nearly as quick as he would have liked. Sighing, he locked his gaze on hers once more. 'And for that, I'm sorry.'

'Don't be.' She surprised him once more by reaching out to wrap both her hands around his. They were warm from holding the mug. She blushed slightly before continuing, 'I was enjoying every second.'

'Then what happened?' His voice was gentle, coaxing.

He watched as she stared down once again, thinking. He allowed her to take her time – he owed her that much, at least. Just when he thought that she wouldn't answer, he felt her hands tighten around his.

'… I remembered something.' Her voice was quiet.

'You looked terrified.' He watched her closely but couldn't pin down the emotion shadowing her eyes.

She bit her lip. Her confession came in a whisper. 'I was.'

'Of me?' He needed to ask.

'No.' This time her reply was stronger, surer and he knew it was the truth. She offered him a small smile. 'I'm sorry for pushing you away. I know I hurt you too.'

'I'm fine.' He assured her. He hated himself for making that smile disappear when he asked her his next questions, a smidgen of desperation seeping into his voice. 'What did you remember? What's got you so afraid?'

He had managed to get more out of Riza during this conversation than he had during the last few weeks. It was three something in the morning now and their mugs had grown cold. They were speaking in short little sentences, yes, but they were also speaking the truth, both of their vulnerabilities evident in the way they gazed at each other. The things they weren't saying hung heavily in the air but tonight that sliver of truth spoke louder and for the moment, he was content. However, Roy feared that whatever peculiar spell that had been cast upon them would soon break and she would go back to pretending everything was okay.

But she didn't – not tonight.

Riza silently left her seat at the table and came around to stand by his side. She bent down to embrace him where he sat, her hands gently cradling his head close to her chest. He could feel the pounding of her heart and somewhere deep inside him, he knew that his was beating just as fast. He leaned into her touch, nestling his head against the softness of her breasts, breathing her in – all peonies and gunpowder. He smiled as she placed a tender kiss on his temple, her lips lingering upon him, even as she begged.

'Please don't ask me that.'

The break in her voice broke his heart.

* * *

On Monday morning, Riza walked in to find a bouquet of yellow roses sitting on her desk. Her first thought had been to assume it was the Colonel's doing, however, when she glanced at him sitting at his desk, he'd simply given her a quizzical look followed by a lazy shrug. She searched the blooms for a card and finally fished it out. She felt the blood drain from her face at the message.

 _Next time, I'll kiss your petals with my lips instead so I can taste your sweet nectar._

'So Lieutenant, who's the _lover?'_ Havoc joked, missing Riza's expression completely as she reread the note on the card.

Riza could feel the gaze of the entire team on her, waiting for her to respond, however, the message – that _disgusting_ message had left her momentarily speechless. She could feel the Colonel's gaze on her and she knew he was watching her with that same concerned look he always wore when she behaved so unlike her usual self – which unfortunately, had been an alarmingly frequent occurrence within the last few weeks.

Without wasting another moment, she crumpled the note in her hand, shoving it into her pocket. She felt positively ill keeping it so close to her but she couldn't risk throwing it away in the office bin. What if someone saw it? What on earth would they think? She couldn't take the chance.

She wasn't going to allow his little stunt to affect her.

'Colonel Mustang.' Riza mentally congratulated herself for managing to get her voice to behave better than her thudding heart and shaky legs. She gave him a sharp look and he immediately sat up a little straighter, recognising that business like attitude at once.

'You're more than welcome to use these for target practise.' She briskly moved the flowers to the centre of her desk.

The Colonel smirked at her, raising his hand almost casually before giving a quick snap of his fingers. The flames had shot across lightning fast, they'd barely seen it. And just like that, the flowers burned. Riza watched with satisfaction as the yellow blooms faded into a black, shrivelled mess.

'I'd like more of a challenge next time, Lieutenant.' He'd scoffed, once the damage had been done.

Falman had kindly cleaned the mess up, disposing of it in the bin. Riza had quietly thanked him, feeling grateful. Nothing more was said. The men knew better than to ask questions especially when the flowers had met such a fate. The working day resumed.

A little before lunch, Fuery awkwardly cleared his throat, catching the attention of the others. When Riza had looked at him, he was holding a crumpled sheet of paper. Even though he was seated the furthest away from her, her sharp eyes had no problem picking out the words. It was a poster advertising the annual Military Ball.

'I didn't want to mention this before because there were more important things going on …' Fuery began meekly. Riza knew he was referring to the drama with the transfer and what Havoc liked to call the General's 'dick move.'

'But since everything's okay now, we should go. Anyone interested?'

The others agreed enthusiastically while Riza remained silent – as did the Colonel, she couldn't help but notice. She could feel his dark gaze on her once again, but this time she couldn't detect the emotion behind it.

'Chief?' Breda prompted.

'What? Yeah, whatever.' The Colonel busied himself suddenly by grabbing folders out of his desk drawer and piling them high in front of him, effectively blocking their view of him. 'Sounds good. Now we have work to do.'

The others followed suit.

'You'll be coming too, right, Lieutenant?' Fuery asked her tentatively, whilst reaching for his book.

'Of course.' Riza nodded, even though she felt the same familiar dread that had swallowed her when she had caught the General quietly watching her.

 _And waiting_ , she couldn't help but think.

But waiting for what? She couldn't help but wonder. Surely, he wouldn't try and hurt her again not after he'd done such a thorough job of it the first time? She would give him no chance to be alone with her. What could he do to her in the presence of others? Except secretly make her feel dirty and ashamed and uncomfortable? She really was giving him too much power. It was best to ignore him, look through him if she was ever unfortunate to see him again, wipe away his existence from her mind. But it was easier said than done.

There was a part of her that was still terrified of him.

When the lunch break arrived, Riza had resolved herself to making a change. She was sick of tiptoeing around the building, jumping at shadows. Nothing would happen to her in a crowd and so, as the others filed out of the office for their break, she asked Havoc whether he minded getting lunch together in the canteen. He'd seem surprised at first and she couldn't blame him. She hadn't set foot in there for nearly a month now. He agreed all to readily of course, giving her his usual easy grin.

On their way out, she stopped to look back at the Colonel who was still sitting at his desk, closely studying a pile of reports.

'Sir?' She questioned, tentatively. 'Would you like to join us?'

'Not today, Lieutenant. I just need to check these reports over. Looks like we'll be starting field work soon.' He glanced up at her with a smile. 'You go ahead though.'

'Alright. See you later.' Riza gently closed the door on her way out, firmly making up her mind that she would bring him back something to eat well before the lunch break was over.

The canteen was the same as always. She refrained from looking around to see if the General was anywhere within the vicinity. If he was already watching her, then it would become too obvious that she was actively looking for him. And who knows? He may even find that possibly flattering. Beside her, Havoc chattered amiably to her and she felt herself relax in his company.

'Who are you looking for, Lieutenant?'

They'd been sitting at the table, having lunch. A while later, Breda had plopped down beside her, while Fuery had taken the seat opposite her next to Havoc. The men had started bantering away as usual while she remained mostly quiet, only interjecting here and there. She felt more at ease having them all with her and yet, she couldn't help but feel nervous. She had that peculiar feeling of being watched again. However, every time she looked around, she couldn't see him. Maybe she was going crazy, she thought bitterly.

'Lieutenant?'

Riza blinked, looking into Fuery's concerned face and found herself smiling faintly at him. He really was sweet. No doubt, he'd make some young lady very happy one day. She could feel the others gazing at her as well. Havoc looked thoughtful while Breda seemed annoyed.

'I'm fine, gentlemen. There's no need to worry.' Riza stood up, picking up her tray. 'If you'll excuse me, I just need to get some food for the Colonel. See you back at the office.'

She was walking back to the office with some food when Breda had caught up with her in the corridor.

'Lieutenant,' he politely acknowledged before launching into what he had wanted to say back in the canteen. 'If you're worried about what I think you're worried about, then don't. His ass got denied once and he's not about to try again. He can't appeal once it gets rejected by the council at that stage. Even he's got enough brain cells to know that.'

Riza couldn't help but smile at him. Despite his blasé attitude, he was incredibly perceptive to not _only_ pick up on her concerns, but have the foresight to not mention them in front of the others. He had waited until she was alone to reassure her and for that she was grateful.

'Thank you, Breda.' She said, warmly, dropping the title for once. 'I appreciate it.'

'Any time.' He smiled at her. 'Don't fret, okay?'

When she reached the office, the Colonel was still pouring over the reports. She felt herself softening as she watched him for a moment. He always appeared endearing to her when he was trying so hard over the things he loathed, such as reports and paperwork. As far as the Colonel was concerned, there was more to being a solider than endlessly pushing around papers on a desk. She hid a smile as she walked over to him quietly, placing a sandwich and the steaming mug of coffee on his desk. He smiled up at her, picking up the coffee to inhale the darkly rich aroma before taking a sip. She gazed at him sympathetically. He had looked as though he'd needed it. This close, she could see just how tired he was.

'Thank you, Lieutenant.' Despite the title, his voice was hushed, intimate. And it was no wonder, with the way he tenderly gazed at her.

Ensuring that the coast was clear, she took the chance to reach out to him, gently moving the pad of her thumb over the smudge of ink on his cheek, carefully rubbing it away. She could feel him lean into her touch, his skin warm under her cool fingers. Reluctantly she pulled her hand away once all traces of the smudge had gone. She smiled at him, about to turn away to return to her own desk when his next words made her stop short.

'He's in love with you, isn't it?'

No guesses to whom the Colonel was referring to _there_ , she thought. She didn't know how to respond. Of all the feelings the General could have had for her, love was certainly not the one. Not after what he'd done to her, what he'd reduced her to that night. The very thought of him being in love with her made her want to be sick.

'What makes you say that?' Riza replied, neutrally.

'Well, first of all, let's not forget your gift this morning.' The Colonel began, dryly, referring to the bouquet she'd found sitting on her desk. 'Then there are the comments he made about you in the meeting during his transfer request.'

Even though the Colonel had told her about the meeting, he hadn't revealed the _reason_ why the General had requested the transfer and she had been too afraid to ask. Especially after the Colonel's expression once he'd told her the news – as though he knew more than he was letting on. Could the General have taken him to one side and tortured him with the possibility of their interest in each other being mutual?

'He spoke about how you would rise swiftly through the ranks under the leadership of a general such as himself. And that your time and skills were wasted under my command. That I kept you too close to me. It was all bullshit.' Mustang smirked up at her. 'With the exception of the very latter.'

Riza smiled. That was true. He did keep her close. But he also allowed her to spread her wings when needed. They complimented each other beautifully. The Flame Alchemist and the Hawk's Eye. They made a formidable duo on the battle field and they had assembled a very good team. It would have been foolish to split them up now – surely even the council had come to that conclusion for them to have denied the request of a _general._

'Whatever his feelings may be, it doesn't matter.' She finally relented, teasing him. 'I'm already in love with someone else, sir.'

She watched – her heart skipping beats as his gaze softened, a smile playing on his lips as he regarded her thoughtfully. They'd been declaring their love for each other since childhood, even though it had been a while since they had last uttered the words after joining the military. But still, she assumed he knew, that he would always know and yet, his reaction had made her melt.

'Then he's a very lucky man, Lieutenant.'

Things had picked up that afternoon. The Colonel had been right about the impending field work. Reports had been received about a gang dealing in weaponry operating on the outskirts of Central. They had been selling to vigilantes who had taken it upon themselves to fight back against the State. The military kept a strict order of things and although this made the city a much safer place to live, there were those who opposed it, those who simply saw it as a way for the military to control the lives of civilians. While true, violence in the city hadn't been completely eradicated, the easy purchase of these weapons had increased the number of causalities all the same.

It was also a concerning how these people had managed to gain possession of such sophisticated weaponry. Riza had seen the pictures of the confiscated firearms. They weren't something that could have been easily picked up. If they were able to stop this gang from operating, it would vastly reduce the risk of more soldiers being attacked by groups of ordinary people who felt as though they had been done wrong by the State.

The plan had been 'tentative steps' – as Falman had put it. They weren't going to rush in all guns blazing. They had to acquire as much information as possible before they made a move. If they raised any suspicion, it would put the operation at risk of being moved elsewhere entirely and they would have to resort to taking a step back to gather further intelligence.

At the Colonel's command, the soldiers got to work. They each had their tasks. While Second Lieutenants Havoc and Breda went to scope out the area – dressed in civilian clothes of course, so as not to draw attention – Master Sergeant Fuery had been instructed to set up surveillance. He'd rushed off down to the basement to visit the technology room. Falman had excused himself to gather intelligence from the archive room – warehouses, sewer systems, any sort of establishment which within a twenty mile radius of their target location. The Colonel had left the office to see General Grumman about his proposed plans. This left Riza to study the weaponry in the pictures and to track down their origins. She needed to find out whether they had been stolen or willingly _sold_ to the gang. The latter was more disturbing.

* * *

'I can't for the life of me think why Colonel Mustang is so possessive over you.'

The sound of General Kaizer's voice made her skin crawl, even before she had the chance to look up from her desk. She had been so absorbed in her reading that she had only vaguely heard the door to the office swing open and even then, she'd simply assumed it was the Colonel returning. After all, he had mentioned he'd be back in an hour. She found herself quickly glancing at the clock – only half an hour had passed.

She felt sick at the mere sight of him and angry that he even had the audacity to waltz in as though it were nothing. As though he was paying a friend a visit in her office. She had always felt certain that while she may have been in danger of running into him in the building, the office was her sanctuary and that he would never step foot in this room. And now that he had, it all felt wrong. He shouldn't be here. She didn't want him standing in the same room that she shared with the Colonel. It was as though his mere presence in the office where they worked together, was sullying the air within as well as the her memories.

Forcing herself to stand, she saluted him rather stiffly, teeth gritted although her expression remained neutral. Despite her stoic exterior, she was quaking inside. The urge to hide away from his piercing gaze was tremendous. He stood there, that grotesque smile stretched across his face, blocking the view of the door and her only means of escape with his towering frame.

'Now Riza. Enough of that.' The General crooned, showing her his teeth with every exaggerated word. 'We're friends, aren't we?'

When she didn't move nor reply, he frowned.

'At ease, soldier.' He watched in satisfaction when she withdrew her hand, dropping the salute. 'That's better.'

He walked further into the room. He could plainly see the struggle within her – she was trying to decide how to react to him especially when he was sending her mixed signals. Instructing her like a General and then speaking to her as though they were friends, lovers even. It was amusing to see her so … torn.

'I take it Colonel Mustang didn't like my flowers?' The General asked, dryly, giving the bin a kick – not enough to spill its contents but hard enough so she could see it rocking back and forth, the ashy remains of the flowers that nestled amongst the crumpled papers, mocking her.

He drew even closer, coming around her desk so he was standing directly opposite her. She resisted the urge to take a step back, suddenly feeling sick as his scent invaded her, forcing her back to that night. Taking a deep breath, she tried to remain calm, tried to imagine herself far away from this despicable excuse for a general.

'Is there anything you needed, General Kaizer?' She asked, instead.

'I've missed you.' He said, ignoring her question completely. 'I was disappointed when your commanding officer wouldn't give you up. But then I can hardly blame him, can I? You're _such_ a beauty …'

With every word, he'd inched closer to her. She could barely stand it any more, due to the sheer panic building up inside her. His tone frightened her – that desperate neediness slowly encroaching upon each word so that they felt dirty and wrong. She was aware that he could see the fear in her eyes. She wasn't even attempting to hide it any more. All her frantic mind could do was scream at her to flee.

But she remained rooted to the spot in the presence of the General. She hadn't been dismissed yet. Years of military training had instilled that habit in her. Besides, she knew that if she moved or even questioned him, he would manipulate her by using his rank.

'Such a beauty,' the General muttered again, shifting so that he was directly standing behind her now, leaning over her shoulder, heavily breathing into her ear. 'Makes me wonder if Mustang ever bent you over his desk like this.'

She had a split second to consider his words before she was roughly pushed forward on to her desk. The General's hand forced back the surprised yelp from her as it covered her mouth. She felt him pressing himself behind her, his weight holding her down, stopping her from struggling against him. Her muffled cries of protest couldn't escape his heavy hand and she closed her eyes, forcing back the tears burning beneath her eyelids. Not again. It would do no good to cry like this. She remembered all those times when the Colonel had sat with her at her desk as they had lunch, petting her hand and gently teasing her in his usual way. And now she was bent over that same desk, by this monster. This was all wrong.

'He would have been a fool not to.' The General's words came out in a harsh whisper, his hot breath making her ear itch. She could feel his other hand groping her, trying to relive her of her uniform trousers as he pressed his massive erection directly into her buttocks. When she realised what he was doing, she began to struggle under him. There was no way he could be thinking of doing _that_ to her here. She couldn't let him, couldn't afford anyone to walk in and find her with her trousers and underwear around her ankles, being taken over her own desk by the General.

His attempts were becoming desperate and clumsy as he tried to pull away the barrier of clothing from her. His mouth was hot and heavy against the back of her neck as he breathed his sordid fantasies out to her, his tongue coating her skin in salvia after each sentence. 'I bet you taste as sweet as you look …'

While he was distracted with abusing her neck, she managed to find some room to manoeuvre herself, giving him a hard shove before successfully catching him in the shoulder with her elbow – a violent jab. The move shocked him. It wasn't something he'd been expecting from the helpless woman squirming under him. He growled at her, suddenly – raising his right palm and striking her sharply on her backside. Riza gasped, feeling her cheek sting even through the heavy material of her uniform.

'At _ease_ , soldier.' Gone was the sickening friendliness in his tone. And she could tell, he was playing General now.

The command silenced her as she lay still, trying to catch her breath. She could feel his chest heaving over her. He suddenly grabbed both of her hands with one of his own, pinning them down on the back of her own head, which in turn pressed her face down into the hard, unforgiving surface of her desk. His left hand slithered up and under her, working itself between the wood and her quivering body. Coming to grab at her breast, he squeezed her tightly, _painfully_ , and she flinched.

'That was downright insubordinate of you, Lieutenant.' His voice was guttural, wet lips right next to her ear. 'Your commanding officer seems to be too soft on you. But don't worry, I'll teach you how to behave.'

And with that, his cruel fingers closed in on around her nipple and twisted.

Riza found herself writhing in pain, her choked sobs muffled by the desk. She gasped, struggling to breath as the General applied more pressed on to the back of her head with his other hand. His throbbing erection seemed to grow bigger as it strained against her buttocks, looking for a way in and she realized with sickening clarity, that he was enjoying this little taste of brutality he had thrust upon her.

When he was satisfied that he had her meek as a kitten beneath him, he removed his hands from her to strip her from the waist down. Finding herself utterly defeated, Riza lay slumped as she was, only faintly aware of his hands trying to undress her. Suddenly they stopped and she felt his body move away from her. Confused, she lifted her head slightly and then realised what had spooked the General.

Footsteps.

Hastily, she scrambled up and on to her feet, even though her body ached from being held down in such an uncomfortable position. Wiping away the last of her tears and fixing her hair, she trained her eyes on the door, ignoring the General who had retreated to the other side of the room.

Glancing at the clock, Riza noticed that only a further quarter of an hour had passed since the General's arrival. The Colonel still had another fifteen minutes to go before he had promised to come back. She concentrated on the door – willing for someone, anyone to walk in. She found herself praying that whomever it was, wouldn't simply walk past the door on their way elsewhere. Would the General continue his assault, in that case?

But it wasn't to be.

The door open and in walked Colonel Mustang.

She could see the shock on his face as soon as he'd taken in her appearance. She vaguely wondered what she must look like. Did she look dirty, guilty? Could he tell what had happened to her? What _could_ have happened to her, if he had arrived only another ten minutes later? Riza was about to salute him, when the Colonel's attention was drawn away by the General's presence – still lurking on the far side of the room. Averting her gaze to the floor, she inwardly cringed.

'General Kaizer.' When Mustang spoke, his voice was low and dangerous, despite his cool smile. 'To what do I owe this pleasure?'

'On the contrary,' the General purred, giving Riza a blatantly meaningful look – one designed to incense the Colonel even further. 'I believe the pleasure belongs to your Lieutenant.'


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** Once again, thank you for the lovely reviews. And  11lol11, thank you for the suggestions. Unfortunately, Mustang has referred to Grumman as a General twice now. And unless I go back and change some details, him being the Fuhrer wouldn't work. Also, I was thinking that surely Mustang would have been promoted from being a Colonel by now if it was after the Promised Day? But it makes sense for this to be set after the Promised Day and for Grumman to be the Fuhrer. I think after this story is complete, I may change a few details so it makes more sense. In the meantime, please excuse my little oversight and continuing filling in the blanks any way you wish.

Coming Undone

As soon as Colonel Roy Mustang's gaze landed on his Lieutenant he knew something was deeply wrong. She stood, shivering behind her desk. Her eyes were red and it was obvious that she had been reduced to tears, even though he couldn't detect any dampness on her pale cheeks. Her lips were red, swollen as though she had been biting them. Her hair was dishevelled; some having escaped her barrette. He could see her silken tresses hanging down the sides of her neck, caressing her skin with each tremble her body made. She'd been staring at the door when he'd walked in, almost as though she'd been waiting for him.

He had been about to call out to her when he'd become aware of another presence in the room. Glancing to the left, he saw General Kaizer lounging against the wall, watching him with a peculiar expression on his face.

'General Kaiser.' Mustang forced a smile, his fist clenching by his side to stop himself from saluting. He knew the General was the cause of Riza's distress, just as he had been for weeks now. There was a very real risk of his fingers impulsively torching the bastard if he attempted a salute, especially in his present frame of mind. 'To what do I owe this pleasure?'

'On the contrary,' the General spoke in such a fallaciously sweet tone, it made him sick. It infuriated him the way he looked at her as though she were simply a possession, something to take. 'I believe the pleasure belongs to your Lieutenant.'

Mustang's first instinct was to go to her and embrace her. His Lieutenant looked as though she were about to fall apart and he wanted to be there, ready to catch her when she fell – just the way she'd done for him when he'd been on the verge of falling to his knees under the weight of some of his previous adversaries.

But he wouldn't give the General the satisfaction of watching nor would he waste any more time by talking to him. Talking to Kaizer was like pulling teeth at times – never a straight answer. And besides, it's not as though he was willing to believe the crap the General spouted – excuses, explanations or otherwise. He wanted to speak to Riza first and find out what had happened, what had _been_ happening so he could end this once and for all.

'I wish to speak to my Lieutenant.' Mustang scowled at the General, not bothering to hide his obvious distaste. 'I would appreciate it if you could give us some privacy.'

'Was that a request or an order, _Colonel?_ ' Kaizer moved forward, ensuring the emphasis on his title didn't go unnoticed. Despite the challenging tone, his expression remained pleasant, a calculatingly playful gleam in his cold grey eyes.

Mustang practically bristled.

'Get _out_.' The words were contemptuously spat. Before the General could reply, his hand had shot up, dangerously hovering between them. His fist was clenched tight, fingers itching to cause some damage.

Kaizer was no fool. He could see Mustang's internal battle to remain calm was slowly drawing to a close. He was minutes away from being burned. He was also painfully aware that while, yes, he was a higher ranking officer with more authority and power, he was _still_ just a general. Military expertise and experience aside, he would be no match empty handed for a State Alchemist. Especially, the _Flame_ Alchemist.

He'd heard the stories about Mustang in Ishval. Heard fellow soldiers whisper the word, _monster_ from the privacy of their tents. He had felt the ground rumble and quake beneath his feet, had shielded his eyes against the blaze of each and every deadly attack as it lit up the sky. The smell of burning corpses had pervaded him as he had silently surveyed the destruction caused by the Flame Alchemist. Even now, he could recall the scent of decay if he closed his eyes. This was the wrong person to face in a head to head, _fair_ battle. The General wasn't above playing dirty. He smirked mentally. Riza should know that all to well, by now.

Right now, he could see Mustang's hand tremble with the effort of restraining himself. The General studied the crimson transmutation circle upon the white material of his ignition glove and an image sprang to his mind, completely unbidden – a trail of blood upon freshly fallen snow, a predator waiting in the midst, teeth bared and ready to attack.

Mustang's eyes had grown darker and he'd become dauntingly still and silent – every bit the animal waiting to pounce. Kaizer was suddenly taken aback, although he didn't show this in the slightest. He was smart enough to know you didn't play with fire if you didn't want to get burned. It would do no good to remind the Colonel that he was being insubordinate to a higher ranking officer – to a _General_ , no less as he could plainly see that Mustang had gone past the point of caring. Any small verbal or physical retaliation on Kaizer's part would light the fuse and Mustang would _strike_ – of that there was no doubt. Grudgingly, he relented enough to offer a placating smile and moved towards the door to make his exit.

'Until next time, Lieutenant.' He paused for a moment, giving her one last hungry look before quietly stepping out of the office and closing the door behind him. Mustang may have won this battle but the war would be his. And his prize would be sweetest imaginable. He would take Riza.

Roy swore softly under his breath, lowering his hand. He had been so close to letting go, rules be damned. Turning to face Riza, concern swiftly overtook his anger. Removing his glove, he drew closer to her, watching her carefully to see whether she had been physically hurt. She had moved further away sometime during his altercation with the General and now she stood huddled against the wall, her face downcast.

'Hey …' His voice was soft, as he came to stand before her. His fingers were gentle as they curled under her chin, titling her face up to his so he could look at her properly. 'It's going to be okay.'

When she finally spoke, her tone was flat. Her eyes flickered upon him as though she was having trouble placing him. She looked utterly defeated. He could feel something tighten around his heart at her words.

'It's never going to be okay.'

* * *

After a quick chat with Falman to remain in the office and oversee the current operation, Roy drove Riza back to her apartment. She was in no condition to be working and he had taken the liberty of granting her a few days' worth of leave so she could recuperate. It was worrying that she hadn't objected as he thought she might. She had remained silent and listless as he had made plans for her. In the car, she had blankly stared out of the window, without saying a word. Although he wanted to find out what had happened in the office, he knew better than to ask her questions now. His main priority was to get her home so he could comfort her away from prying eyes.

When they reached her apartment, Roy led her inside, up the stairs and to her front door. He watched as her hands shook as she tried to unlock her door and he quietly took the keys from her to unlock it herself. As soon as they were inside, he watched as she removed her shoes before walking over to the couch and curling up on it, tucking her legs underneath her. Her hands reached out for a nearby cushion and she clutched it to herself, closing her eyes.

After a moment's hesitation, Roy took a seat beside her. Giving her a few moments, he closed his own eyes and breathed deeply. He felt absolutely useless She was obviously hurting and he didn't know how to help her. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her, sooth and steady her with his touch and soft promises but he knew she would flinch away if he got too close. And he knew that she wasn't ready to talk either, even though he longed for answers. He couldn't force her to reveal her secrets. He would hate himself for causing her more grief by badgering her with questions when she was already silently fighting a great battle of her own.

He tilted his head towards her, observing her quietly. She seemed smaller, younger. Her military jacket suddenly seemed too big for her. She looked as though she had lost a lot of weight and he wondered why he hadn't noticed this before. His memory took him back to their childhood – how thin she had been then due to a lack of food. The Hawkeyes hadn't much money and she had always insisted on giving him the bigger portions seeing as he was their guest. It was only after he had felt her jutting shoulder blades through the flimsy fabric of her nightgown when he'd hugged her in bed that first time, that he had realised how thin she actually was. After that, he had always ensured she ate more, giving her half of his portion when food because scarce – especially during those cold winter months when it was too cold to hunt for meat in the nearby forest and they had to depend on rations.

Although he had always made sure that Riza ate well during their lunch breaks, he had no idea what she did for breakfast or her evening meals. Had she even bothered to cook for herself during the last few weeks?

Silently, he got up and walked into her kitchen. A quick look inside her fridge confirmed his suspicions. It was empty aside from a slab of butter and a bottle of milk. Either she had simply thrown the food out once it had expired or she hadn't bothered to go shopping once it had run out. A quick check of her cupboards revealed tinned food, pasta and rice. The dishes and utensils were all put away neatly and he doubted they had been used for a while. A lonely mug lay drying on the wire rack beside the sink.

In the end, he decided to make her some tea. Something warming and sweet that would help her feel a little better, a little more like herself. He was generous with the milk and sugar knowing she liked it a touch sweeter when she was feeling unwell or unhappy. He managed to find a pack of biscuits in one of her cupboards and placed a few on a plate, frowning slightly. It was hardly nutritious but it would have to do for the time being. It was better than nothing. Later, he would go shopping for her and buy some much needed food.

When he carried the tea and biscuits back to the tiny living room, Riza was sitting exactly as he'd left her. Still clutching that cushion as a shield against her body. He placed the mug and plate on to the small coffee table in front of them and sat down next to her, his hand light on her shoulder so as not to startle her.

'You should eat something.' He gently uncurled her fingers from holding on to the cushion and carefully wrapped her hand around the warm mug. She blinked up at him but didn't smile. Her face remained expressionless as she took a shaky sip.

He picked up the plate of biscuits and held it out to her, but she ignored it, choosing to bite her lip instead as though she were thinking of something unpleasant. He remembered how swollen and red her lips had been when he'd walked into the office and found himself wondering whether the General had kissed her. The though made his blood boil.

He knew desire could drive lesser men to desperation and suddenly felt sick as he considered what else the General may have done to her. He knew she was incredibly strong and had a resolve that wouldn't flicker even in the face of danger and strife. However, he never seen her like this before, so defeated and tired – with the exception of her time in Ishval, of course, and the subsequent nightmares that followed her. Closing his eyes tightly for a moment, he took a breath and tried again.

'Please eat something, Riza.'

He feared she would ignore him again and for a few moments, she remained as she was – but then she slowly reached out her hand to pluck a biscuit from the plate he had been holding. He placed it back on the coffee table for now and watched as he absently nibbled at it. When she'd eaten it, he handed her another one and then another. She refused the fourth one and he didn't force her. He watched as she finished her tea in silence. Taking her mug from her and placing it on to the table, he leaned closer to her and gently brushed away her hair from her eyes. She seemed as though she didn't even feel his touch.

Once again, it was evident her mind was elsewhere.

Was it with _him?_ Roy couldn't help but wonder. Was she still trapped somewhere with that bastard? Was she mentally torturing herself by replaying what had happened to her, what he had been _doing_ to her?

Suddenly, Roy couldn't stand it – the silence, the uncertainty, the pain.

'Tell me what happened.' His tone was firmer now.

She didn't respond.

Cupping her face with both hands, he gently turned her towards him so that they were facing each other. He stared into her eyes, trying to find a hint of something familiar but it seemed as though he was gazing into the eyes of a stranger. Her usually expressive eyes were still, clouded in shadows. Everything in her gaze that made her his _Riza,_ his Lieutenant was gone. Resting his forehead against hers, he closed his own eyes.

'Please come back to me.'

His only answer was the shrill ringing of the phone. He ignored it in favour of the beautiful but fragile women before him, but it was insistent in its cry, and finally he forced himself up from the couch and followed the noise to where the phone sat – picking it up and effectively killing the racket.

'Colonel Mustang.' It was Falman. 'There's been a complication, sir.'

Gritting his teeth, Roy slammed the phone down. Everything had gone to shit. Havoc and Breda had wound up in a brawl while scoping out the area, Fuery's equipment had suddenly gone missing as had some of the reports concerning the case and some _bastard_ had spread the word that Lieutenant Hawkeye had gone home sick and the Colonel had waltzed out for the day, leaving the higher-ups wondering whether Mustang and his team were able to handle the case and if it should be assigned to another officer and team instead.

He had no choice but to return to Central Command to sort this out, which of course was both regrettable and frustrating as it would mean leaving Riza alone. After promising her he would be back soon, he left her curled up on the couch and still a million miles away.

* * *

The pain, fear and humiliation had dissipated – leaving her strangely empty, numb. She'd barely felt Roy's touch upon her. His voice had sounded muffled. She'd noticed that his lips were moving but couldn't quite make out the words. Her mind had begun to drift and suddenly, she wasn't there anymore. She was back in that old house from her childhood. She was sitting on the sofa, drinking tea and listening to a love song playing on the radio. Roy had been sitting beside her, talking to her; explaining how atoms that made up the stars, where also what made up their own constitutions. She has listened enthralled. He had smiled at her expression and kissed her then. Riza had desperately wanted to hold on to that memory, but it had grown fainter and fainter until she'd been left squinting into the darkness.

And then somehow she had found herself lying on her back, in a gloomy room. She could smell a familiar scent that made her want to heave. She knew he was near. Twin grey orbs glinted from the darkness and she opened her mouth to scream but a heavy hand beat her to it, covering her lips and blocking all sound.

Beside her, Roy tried to speak to her once more.

'Please come back to me'.

His voice was encouraging and sweet, almost like a plea. She wanted nothing more than to return to him. She wanted to crawl into his arms and have him chase away all her nightmares just the way he used to do years and years ago. But she couldn't speak, couldn't move an inch. The General was keeping her hostage for now.

Hours passed before she blinked. Her face crumpling in distress as she looked beside her to find the seat empty and the Colonel gone.

Riza had never felt so trapped in her life. For once, she didn't have a plan of action or even the slightest idea on what to do or say next. How could she possibly extricate herself from this mess? Work had become a minefield and the General had taken obvious pleasure in seeing her squirm at every opportunity. And now, the situation had become even more complicated as the Colonel had been dragged into it. She knew he wouldn't let this go, especially now, after what had occurred between himself and the General.

He obviously knew she had been hurt in some way and that the General was responsible for it.

She was grateful that the Colonel hadn't used his rank to get information from her. He hadn't abused his position the way the General had, when he had commanded her to keep still while he hurt her. The incident had occurred at work, in the office. The Colonel would have been well within his rights to demand answers from her and she would have had no choice but to reply truthfully. But he hadn't. He had inquired as _Roy_ and not the Colonel and even then, he hadn't demanded anything from her. He had asked, he had pleaded – looking so sincere and hurt but still, she couldn't bring herself to tell him. She felt too ashamed.

But how long would his kindness and patience last? How long before he would tire of her, grow angry or even worse, leave her to her own devices? She didn't want to tell him all the terrible things that had happened to her and yet, at the same time, she wanted him there with her. She wanted and needed his comfort. Was it fair to seek comfort from him, to expect such things from him, when she didn't offer any information in return? She could tell he was worried sick and she felt selfish for keeping quiet.

She was scared to reveal what had happened – not just today, but on that night, when the whole ordeal had begun. What would he do? He would be absolutely livid. And she couldn't risk him storming into the General's office and using his alchemy for vengeance. It would be career suicide and he'd worked so hard to get where he was. She couldn't let him do that. She'd been afraid when she had seen him raise his hand to the General in the office. She knew he had been close but somehow had held himself in check. She doubted he would be able to show such restraint if he knew how terrible things truly were. And so to protect him, she wouldn't reveal everything.

Only what was needed.

She had to get stronger and put this behind her. She needed to follow the Colonel and watch his back like she had promised. She felt nervous when she thought about him out there – especially during an assignment, without her. What good was a bodyguard who cowered at home, afraid of shadows?

She glanced around the room, feeling suddenly scared. If the General hadn't thought twice about walking into the office to see her, what was stopping him from visiting her at home? If he did decide to pay her an unexpected visit, she would really be alone. It's not as though anyone – even the Colonel – would come rushing to her rescue especially if the General had slipped away during work to come see her. He would be able to have his way with her any way he saw fit. She had cried and screamed during that first night and it hadn't deterred him in the slightest. She really would be at his mercy.

Riza felt cold all over. It was that terrible type of cold that seeped its way into your bones. And no matter what you did, you just couldn't get warm enough, you couldn't get rid of that chill. She realized her teeth were chattering and her breaths were shaky. Finally moving from the couch, she stretched, wincing at the pain in her back from having spent so long hunched over. Ensuring that her front door was securely locked, she made her way slowly into the bathroom and turned on the tap to draw herself a hot bath. Maybe then she could stop shivering and finally get warm.

Once the bath tub was filled, she stripped off her uniform, shoving everything into her laundry basket. He'd been all over her and she wanted it washed and clean before she could even consider wearing it again. Stepping into the nearly scalding tub, she sat down flinching as the hot water enveloped her, turning her pale skin red. She eased herself further down, revelling in the sting due to the temperature. It felt so good to finally feel something.

From the edges of her mind, the General still taunted her.

Several hours later, Roy found her sitting in the bath, staring into space. The water now, icy cold.

* * *

'Sshhh,' he quietened her as he lay her down in bed.

Roy had arrived back to her apartment later than he'd anticipated. Someone had really fucked up at Central Command and he had committed more hours than he'd cared for to damage control. He had then stopped by at the supermarket to pick up a few things for Riza. At her apartment door, he had let himself in using the spare key she had given him years ago for emergencies. He had called for her as soon as he'd entered and when she hadn't replied, he'd checked the bathroom door, noticed that the light was on and assumed she was taking a bath. He'd put away the fresh bread, meat and vegetables he had bought and then brewed a pot of coffee.

When she still hadn't emerged half an hour later, he'd grown worried and knocked on the door. When there had been no answer, he'd walked in to find her sitting in the bath tub, staring vacantly ahead. She was shivering in the pool of cold water.

He'd tried to speak to her but she had remained silent, unresponsive. He'd gathered her up in his arms, not caring that her body had soaked the front of his uniform. Taking her into the bedroom, he had carefully dried and clothed her, keeping his eyes averted from certain areas. She was beautiful and if the circumstances had been different, he would have taken his time to adore her the way she deserved, but right now, he didn't feel it was right to look – not when she was feeling so wretched and not after what _may_ have happened to her.

He couldn't help but notice the bruising around her wrists though and he had caressed them gently, wishing he could wipe away the marks and the pain she must had endured when receiving them. What had the bastard done to her? He couldn't help but silently fume. He wanted to go find him and kill him but he knew that Riza needed him more right now.

She had remained docile throughout, only beginning to struggle as he lowered her into bed. He spoke softly to her, cupping her face with one hand and stroking her cheek with this thumb. She seemed to hear his words this time and she blinked up at him, recognition in her eyes. He simply smiled down at her, kissing her on the tip of her nose.

Silently, she shuffled to the other side of the bed, holding her arms out to him.

'Are you sure?' Roy glanced at the narrow bed. 'It's going to be a tight squeeze. Are you okay to have me that close?'

'Please,' she whispered.

He stripped off his damp military jacket and climbed into bed with her, adjusting their positions so that she was cradled against him, her head resting on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, keeping them loose in case she wanted to shrug him off but she didn't. She burrowed closer to him instead. After a moment, he allowed them to tighten around her and smiled as he heard her sigh contentedly. He kissed the top of her head, his lips lingering in her silken hair as he murmured words of comfort to her.

Much later, Riza awoke to an empty bed. She embraced herself, thinking he'd left her but then a delicious smell wafting in from the kitchen made her think again. She padded out of her bedroom to investigate. Her living room seemed warm and cosy for once. Roy had turned up the heating and switched on the lamps which were emitting a comforting glow, bathing the room in a soft orange. She wandered into the kitchen to find him at her stove, cooking. The smell of frying vegetables and meat made her realise how hungry she was and that she hadn't eaten for hours.

'Good, you're up.' He turned around and grinned at her. 'I was thinking I'd have to bring dinner to bed.'

'It's 1:34 AM.' She replied, glancing at the clock. 'And you're making _dinner?_ '

'You haven't eaten all day.' Roy reasoned. 'I figured this was perfect timing, don't you?'

Riza smiled, wrapping her arms over her stomach as it suddenly began to rumble. It seemed to agree with Roy's words. She walked up to him and slipped her arms around his waist, standing on tiptoe to place a kiss on his cheek. 'Thank you.'

She moved away from him before he could get distracted by her and busied herself by taking out the plates and cutlery and setting the table. Ten minutes later, they were both seated with plates of fragrant rice and stir-fried vegetables and chicken. Riza hadn't bothered about cooking or even eating right during the last few weeks. It simply hadn't been a concern, not when she had other things plaguing her mind. The only nutritious food she had eaten had been during her lunch breaks and that was only because Roy cared enough to ensure she didn't go hungry. She realised she couldn't remember the last time she had a home cooked meal. She speared a piece of bell pepper with her fork, revelling in the crunch when she popped it into her mouth. She realised Roy must had gone shopping for food. She couldn't remember having had any fresh vegetables in her fridge. The meat was tender and the rice was deliciously flavoured. She wondered when he'd become so good at cooking.

'I learned from the best.' He said, as though he had read her mind. 'All those times when I helped you cook back when we were growing up. I was bound to pick up some tricks.'

She smiled as she studied him. He was still wearing his work shirt, which was now rumpled seeing as he'd slept in it. His hair was messy and falling into his dark eyes which were reassuring and warm, as he gazed back at her. He seemed more carefree and boyish in the soft lighting of the room. Nothing like the stressed Colonel she had bought coffee to earlier that day. She suddenly felt a rush of fondness for him and found herself reaching for his hand across the table. He moved his hand closer, covering hers and giving it a gentle squeeze.

After they'd finished eating, she helped him wash up. She was struck by how nostalgic this felt. There had been countless times, when they had stood side by side, washing and drying. Eager to do away with the chores so they can spend precious time together before Roy was called away to study by her father.

Once everything had been put away, she led him to the couch and sat down. He followed suit and sat beside her. She leaned her head against his shoulder, drawing up her knees in front of her and wrapping her arms around them. She felt his hand on her wrist, his fingers rubbing gently at the ugly bruise encircling it, almost as though he could brush it away from her.

'How badly did he hurt you?' His words were tentative, as though he was afraid she might not answer if he spoke too loudly or firmly.

It was inevitable that he would ask. And she couldn't deny him any longer. She had to tell him at least something. There was a pause, before she answered.

'… You arrived before he had a chance to really hurt me.' She bit her lip, knowing full well he would pick up on what she was not saying.

Roy pointedly looked at her wrists. 'Somehow I can't believe that.'

Riza sighed, suddenly feeling weary. 'Promise me you won't react to this. That you won't make things worse. You've worked so hard. I don't want to see you throw it away over some mistake.'

She could feel his jaw clench, even as his fingers remained soft upon her aching wrist. He didn't respond, so she simply stayed silent as she watched him struggle with himself. Minutes passed and then a quarter of an hour.

'Fine.' He muttered, finally. 'You have my word.'

Satisfied, Riza continued. 'He didn't get a chance to really hurt me. Like I said, you arrived just in time. The bruises are from being held down. It was my fault. I was struggling against him.'

'Don't do that. Don't blame yourself.' His voice sounded choked when he continued. 'He held you down?'

Riza nodded, that familiar wave of shame washing over her.

'Did he kiss you?' His thumb gently touched her lips.

Riza wondered why he'd asked and then realised her lips would have been swollen and red from her having bitten down on them. Thankfully, he hadn't kissed her today. 'No. I was biting down to keep from screaming.'

'What?' He definitely sounded angry this time. 'Why didn't you scream? Someone would have come to help. It would have stopped the bastard from hurting you further.'

Taking a shaky breath, she looked at him, suddenly angry herself. 'Can you imagine what it would have looked like to have someone walk in while I was being bent over my own desk?'

Her admission silenced him, drew away his anger until he was left distraught. He wrapped his arm around her, bringing her closer to him. Moving his face down to her, he nuzzled her gently. 'I'm so sorry, Riza.'

She allowed him to comfort her, resisting the urge to turn her head so that their lips could meet. It didn't seem right to do that, not when his touches had been so chaste. She closed her eyes, enjoying the contact as she whispered. 'I know.'

'Are you hurt anywhere else?'

Her breast still ached from where he had grabbed her, her nipple felt tender. Unconsciously her arms around her legs tightened, drawing them up closer to her chest. She was too afraid to tell him exactly what the General had done. But at the same time, she wanted him to cover her sore breast with his warm hand until the pain melted away. His touch healed her in ways doctors would never comprehend and she needed that tonight. But she didn't dare reveal it. Finally, she responded, her voice cautious.

'He grabbed at me a little.' She shrugged as though it were nothing. 'My clothes were still on and I'm not hurt too badly so I guess that was fortunate.'

Roy didn't answer. After a few minutes she sneaked a peek at him to see him looking perplexed. He didn't question her any further even know she knew he still had many things he wanted to ask her.

'You won't confront him, will you? You'll leave it alone?' She gazed beseechingly at him until he gave her a small nod before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. She found herself wondering if this was the first time he would lie to her.

Later, Roy followed her to bed. It was a tight fit but it was nice. She enjoyed having him close, the heat from his body keeping her warm. She thought back to all those nights when she had been alone, clutching her pillow to herself while thinking of him. She had been so lonely.

He moved further down the bed, until he was able to bury his face into her neck. She could feel his lips tremble against her skin, his soft breath tickling her pleasantly. She knew he was upset by what he had discovered tonight. She wondered how awful he would feel if he had known the whole truth and promised herself she would never reveal her entire dirty secret. What was the point in hurting him with that news? It was in the past now and they both knew, try as they might – the past couldn't be changed.

Ishval had taught them that.

Her hands sank into his hair, her fingers massaging his scalp gently. It wasn't long before his breathing evened out, his heartbeat slowing down, and she knew he was asleep. She suddenly felt guilty when she remembered how tired he had looked earlier that day. After bringing her home, he had gone back to work and had come back with food, cooked for her, stayed up half the night with her and was due to get back up in a couple of hours to start the day over again.

She thought about how he had always been there for her. First when she had crawled into his bed during the dead of winter for warmth and comfort – especially on those nights when her father had belittled her so cruelly over her cooking or the way she had refused to learn alchemy. How he had sent her money while he had been away at the academy so that she had enough to eat. Then after her father's death, when he had taken care of everything from the cost of the funeral to having her father's clothes and belongings removed and the house sold. He had comforted her as she had revealed her scarred back to him. He had called her beautiful, bringing tears to her eyes. Later, he had allowed her to stay with him while she looked for her own apartment in Central.

And then of course, there was Ishval. Most nights had been spent in the tent, holding each other to stop themselves from falling apart. He'd soothed her with his gentle words, chased away her nightmares and held her as she had cried. Then he had done her another kindness and freed her from her father's research with his scorching touch. He had cried for her when she'd been too exhausted to cry for herself.

She knew she had saved his life on multiple occasions, kept him from getting into trouble due to his procrastination and helped him as much as she possibly could however, it paled in comparison to what he had done for her. Her life hadn't been easy but he had taken it in stride, always remaining positive even when she felt as though her world was falling apart. The magnitude of what he had given her, what he had _been_ giving her all through their lives brought tears to her eyes. And she wondered if his life would have been better if he had never met her.

'I don't deserve you.' She whispered into his hair. 'I'm more trouble than I'm worth.'


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** Again, need to mention the M rating. Sorry but 90% of this chapter is sexed up. I suppose you could say nothing really happens but it's a big step for Riza. And action and drama will commence in the next chapter.

Coming Undone  


At first, Riza had been left frustrated when Roy had patiently explained to her that he had taken the liberty of granting her a few days' leave. She saw no reason for this. While true, the incident with the General had shaken her considerably – to the extent where she had retreated into herself, she felt more than capable of returning to work the next day. She was well aware that things were tense in the office and that they were supposed to be on an _assignment_. Surely that was reason enough for her to return? But the Colonel had stood firm, audaciously declaring that it was an _order._ The nerve! She had simply shaken her head and glared at him. He had responded by moving closer and nuzzling her, murmuring his apologies into her neck. Annoyingly, she had found herself yielding under his touch. He was _such_ an aggravatingly impossible man, sometimes.

Riza's days were slow and peaceful. She refrained from going out and did as Roy had suggested. She took time to care for herself, enjoying her own company. It had been so long since she'd had the luxury of whiling away the afternoon reading, baking or just quietly reflecting. Ever since she'd joined the military, her week days had consisted of work and sleep while her weekends, had been spent catching up on errands. Whatever she was doing, she was always rushing about. These past few days had forced her to slow down and she had finally begun to feel happier.

Roy had unofficially moved in with her, it had seemed. The sight of his shaving kit sitting in her bathroom, his clothes draped over her furniture and even the second mug, drying on the dish rack in her kitchen evoked a sense of domesticity. That feeling was reinforced when he came home to her each night. He would strip off his uniform and shower while she finished cooking dinner. They would eat together at her tiny dining room table, talking softly to one another. Afterwards, he would follow her to bed, where he would hold her, kissing her tenderly. She would curl up in his arms and accept each of his kisses and every touch, eagerly.

And then the real battle started.

Her body was doing a spectacular job of confusing her. The thought of sex or even being touched intimately made her nauseated and panicky. However, Roy had a way of affecting her in ways she had never expected. He warmed her heart and made her body yearn for him and all so effortlessly – just by the way his hands lingered on her as though he couldn't bear to let her go or the way he gazed at her as though she were something remarkable.

She had spent each of the last few nights, lying close to him in the dark, squeezing her thighs together to ease the painful throb deep within. She had hoped he wouldn't notice her becoming restless as she tossed and turned, trying to get away from him and yet _melt_ into him at the same time. There had been times when she'd woken up in the middle of the night, with her underwear sticky and damp, wanting him to touch her.

Wanting desperately to move the hand he had placed lightly, _innocently_ on her stomach as he slept - in between her legs. There were times when she had wanted to climb on top and straddle him, urging him to slide himself inside her so she could ride him. Then finally, there was that one desperate time in the very early morning, when she had wanted to crawl under him and beg him to take her any way he deemed fit – and put her out of her misery.

Because god, what a misery it was. To be so willing and yet so terrified of where her mind would take her if she succumbed to her desires.

Even though her body ached for him, her mind continued to balk at the thought of becoming intimate with him. Somehow it would always be drawn back to that night and suddenly she wouldn't be lying under her beloved Colonel anymore – she would be trapped by the General. Her mind wouldn't allow her to forget, automatically linking any thought of sex to the depravity that had been inflicted upon her that night. In the darkness, even _Roy's_ intimate touch would somehow feel sinister, wrong.

* * *

'You're so good to me, you know that?' Riza whispered.

It was her final night before she returned to work and they were in bed. She was higher up, propped up on her elbow, looking down at him, as he lay flat on his back. With her other hand, she tenderly caressed his cheek, before letting her fingers trail down the side of his strong jawline. Her lips soon replaced her fingers, leaving butterfly kisses. She heard him sigh as her hand travelled down and slipped under his half buttoned shirt, gliding teasingly across his firm chest. The muscles rippling under her touch made her breath catch it her throat.

It was difficult to hide from each other when sharing such a small bed. Although Roy had kept his touches innocent and his kisses chaste for the past few nights, she was aware that he hadn't been able to stop his body from physiologically reacting when he was near her. She knew he had purposely kept his hips angled away from her but there were times – when he'd been on the verge of dozing or just plain careless – that she had felt his erection accidentally brush against her hip or thigh. She knew he was aching and in need of relief and yet, he never mentioned it, never asked her to do anything for him. Maybe after what had happened in the archive room, he hadn't wanted to hurt her again. She still bitterly regretted how she had hurt him.

One of her butterfly kisses landed on the corner of his mouth and he turned his head slightly so their lips could meet. Riza wasted no time in deepening the kiss and he happily obliged, granting her access and allowing her to explore at her leisure. She heard him make an appreciative noise deep in his throat when she began sucking and nibbling at his bottom lip. Her fingers brushed over his nipple, before skittering down to his stomach.

He seemed content to lie there and let her take the lead. Riza knew that he was only doing this to make her feel comfortable and more in control of the situation. He was astute enough to realise that when it had come to the General, she had been left without any control whatsoever. He wasn't about to take that away from her by flipping them over in bed and ravishing her the way she knew he so desperately wanted to. She could almost feel that tremendous urge within him by the way he gazed at her, his eyes darkening with carnality.

Riza had been feeling guilty. It wasn't fair to keep him so close, to tease him the way she was doing now and not expect his body to react in such a way. She couldn't _not_ expect him to want more from her. And in some way, she wanted to touch him intimately, she wanted to give him the release he so desperately craved and deserved. Maybe this would be alright, she pondered. After all, how could her mind link this beautiful moment to what she had experienced that night, when what she was doing now, what she was _about_ to do were so very different? The General hadn't made her do this and that was a blessing because now, she could give this to her sweet Colonel without any risk of it being tainted by memories from that night.

Her hand moved lower to cup him gently through the thin material of his pyjama pants. She could feel him harden immediately under her touch and she was secretly flattered that something as simple as that, had such an effect on him. Her hand remained steady upon him while she gazed into his eyes, communicating her intentions silently. He smiled lazily at her, his eyes slipping close in agreement. She slipped her hand under the elastic and closed her fingers around him. Her hand remained still for a few moments, relishing the touch. She then moved her fingers further up and gently brushed the pad of her thumb over the head of his shaft, she could already feel the moisture on its tip. The sudden movement made him gasp and thrust involuntarily into her hand. He looked up at her apologetically and she simply smiled and kissed him gently on his lips to let him know it was okay.

Her fingertips danced along his length, revelling in the velvet like texture of his delicate skin. She teased him for a while before closing her hand more firmly around him, moving it up and down in long, steady strokes. She could feel him twitch in her grip, every movement of her hand, drawing out soft groans from his parted lips. She studied him while he trembled under her touch, he was so beautifully handsome. He was a good man and she wondered what she had done to deserve his kindness and affection.

She wanted to do so much more for him.

Gently she drew him out of his pants, feeling him shiver as cooler air met his hot, sensitive flesh. He gazed up at her, questioningly. She smiled, kissing him on the side of his neck, before moving further down the bed. When she was settled in between his legs, she looked up once more, her gaze locking on to his. He seemed surprised.

'Riza …' He shook his head and smiled kindly at her, his voice gentle. 'You don't have to do this.'

Her first response was a soft kiss on his very tip, making him quiver in anticipation.

'But I want to.' The whisper came a mere moment before he was enveloped in a tight wet, heat.

* * *

Roy couldn't help but gasp as he suddenly found himself taken in by her mouth. It was hot and wet and the suction she was so skilfully applying made him want to urge her to take him in further. He moaned when that was exactly what she did – as though she had read his mind. Through his half-closed eyes, he watched as she suddenly smirked up at him.

He'd been pleasantly surprised when she had taken him in her hand and had begun stroking him. It had felt so good to finally be touched by a hand other than his own. He had been content to lie there and let her do as she pleased with him. It was only when she began to move down – her intentions suggestively clear – that he became even more surprised, and then concerned. He didn't want her to feel as though this was something she had to do. Especially after what had happened to her with that bastard of a general. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel uncomfortable or scared which is why he had spent the last few days, touching and kissing her as affectionately and innocently as he could – all the while, keeping the traitorous part of his body away from her.

He couldn't help but wonder whether she was uncomfortable being so close to him in the dark, what with the way she tossed and turned beside him and the way she shifted in his arms. Sometimes she would move as far away from him as she possibly could in the narrow bed – almost to the point where she was in danger of falling off. He had always made sure to keep his arm loose around her waist and yet, secure enough to stop her from falling.

Then there were other times, when she would shuffle closer and cling to him – tight enough so that he could feel her breasts pressed up against his chest. Her body would rub against his when she shifted around while she slept and it would take every shred of his self-control to remain as he was – the lower part of his body angled away from her, while he kept his fists clenched to stop himself from touching her inappropriately.

There had been one instance, when he'd awoken to her whimpering and pawing at him in the early hours of the morning. It was still dark outside but he instinctively knew, dawn was just about to creep up over the horizon. At first, he had assumed she'd woken up from a nightmare. But having taken a closer look at her, he had realised that hadn't been the case. He'd gently asked her what was wrong but she hadn't replied. Instead, she had pressed herself up against him, breathing hard. He had felt her heart racing beneath her breast and when he had peered into her eyes, he has seen the desperation within. He had never seen her look so haunted, so tragically beautiful. She had crushed her lips to his, her kiss needy and messy and nothing at all like he'd ever tasted before.

And he had known then, he had sensed her arousal.

She _wanted_ him.

And if he had decided to take her there and then, she would have let him. And as much as he had wanted to, as much as he had wanted to _bury_ himself deep within her, it wouldn't have been right. She was so clearly confused – shying away from him one minute and then cosying up the next. Her encounter with that bastard had really affected her to the point where she didn't know what she wanted. And he sure as hell wasn't going to act on his own desires at the risk of hurting her further. He'd already made that mistake once. If he had given into her that night, he knew she would have woken up feeling terrible the next morning – and he would have hated himself for it.

And so, he'd simply drawn her close to him and held her tightly as she squirmed against him. He'd hushed her and tried to soothe her as she whimpered in his arms. He had continued holding her until she'd grown quiet, her body limp in his embrace. He had watched over her as she'd finally fallen into a fitful asleep, wishing there was something he could have done to given her some peace.

In the morning she seemed to have forgotten what had occurred and he hadn't had the heart to mention it.

But now, she seemed different. She was in control of herself and _him_. It was obvious she was clearly enjoying what she was doing with the way she smirked, while she teased him with her pretty, pretty mouth. She drew him in deep before sliding him out again. Her hands stroked the base of his shaft while her mouth worked the rest of it. She alternated the rhythm and suction and kept him guessing, drawing out his moans with ease. His breath was coming out faster and heavier now. Not wanting to hurt or overwhelm her, he refrained from thrusting into her mouth. His right hand gripped the side of the wooden bed frame from the effort, hard enough so that it felt as though it were about to splinter. But his other hand, which had snaked down to tangle in her silken hair was gentle as ever.

The inferno that had been raging in the pit of his stomach felt as though it would consume him whole. He gasped hard, as her tongue suddenly flicked across the head of his shaft, swirling around it before it pressed itself to the slit, teasing out his essence. She took him deep into her mouth again. He felt himself hit the back of her throat and he shuddered, feeling himself growing bigger to the point where he was painfully, _painfully_ hard. She drew him out once more, letting her teeth graze the underside of his shaft – their eyes met during this moment – and he honestly couldn't remember ever being this turned on.

'Riza …' He managed to growl out.

She smiled at him sweetly, before she increased the pace – her intention clear. His head fell back onto the pillow, eyes closing as he felt that fire in the pit of his stomach suddenly rise up and engulf him. He was able to choke out a warning to her before he came – _hard,_ filling her mouth _._ She paid no attention to his words and continued sucking and swallowing, as he rode out wave after wave of pleasure, until he had been left empty and dry. When he was spent and left panting, she gently tucked him back into his pants before crawling back up and into his arms. He tightened his hold on her immediately, turning his head to give her a long, lingering kiss.

'That was incredible.' He looked at her dazed, smiling stupidly. ' _You're_ incredible.'

Riza looked pleased and – as far as he could tell – genuinely happy. Not at all as though she regretted what she had done, as he had so secretly feared. She gently took his hand, the one that had been gripping the bed frame and rubbed some feeling back into his numb fingers as she kissed him on the cheek. Roy moved his other hand down to rest on her thigh, giving it an experimental squeeze – wanting to return the favour. If she declined, he wouldn't press the issue but he wanted to offer all the same.

'Can we just leave it like this for now?' She whispered.

His answer was a smile, followed by a gentle kiss to her forehead.

* * *

The next morning brought about a new change for Riza. She felt different – stronger, determined and much like her old self. The person she had been before the General's vile touch. She couldn't argue with the fact that Roy had been right and the last few days had done her the world of good. But she knew that it had more to do with Roy himself and not the days spent away from Central Command. In his own sweet and thoughtful way, he had healed her. And although the memory and pain of her violation still existed somewhere deep inside of her, this was the first time in a long time when she didn't feel continually plagued by it.

Roy had left first. He had spent the last few days, sneaking into her apartment after dark and then leaving just before dawn to minimise the risk of being seen by anyone. Nobody could know he was spending his nights with her. And it certainly wouldn't look too good if they suddenly arrived at work together. He had given her one last lingering kiss before he'd left her that morning, still curled up in bed. And she knew, that when she saw him next, he wouldn't be her _Roy_ anymore. He would be Colonel Mustang.

And that was okay, because she finally felt ready to be Lieutenant Hawkeye.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:** Apologies for the delay with this chapter. Life happened. Thank you for the reviews. I appreciate that I'm writing about a sensitive subject and that it may be a trigger for some people. Unfortunately, rape does tend to get trivialised. It's also done to death in fanfiction and RP. I was interested in exploring the healing process and the aftermath of such an experience. How would a character as strong as Riza react? Would Roy put his own need for revenge above comforting and being there for her? There are many horrors for soldiers out there in the battle field but what happens when the biggest monster is lurking at base camp instead? I understand it may not be to everyone's cup of tea but I do want to thank the one reviewer who bought this up. Just thought I'd mention it.

And one more thing. The chapter is quite tame but swings back into **M rating, non con** , towards the end when it switches to the General's narrative.

Coming Undone

The mood was tense when Riza arrived at the office the next morning. However, despite this, the Colonel had flashed her a warm smile – a stark difference to his brisk, professional tone as he welcomed her back to work. The other men had followed suit, of course. Their own greetings had been friendlier and although she had responded back with the same formality the Colonel had used, she had allowed herself to smile openly at them.

She knew they had all been concerned – that much was evident from their expressions of relief and happiness at seeing her. She wasn't sure what the Colonel had told them about her absence. Or if he'd told them anything at all. Still, nobody questioned it and she was grateful for not having to explain herself. What could she had said, anyway?

The Colonel wasted no time in summoning her to his desk as he filled her in on what had happened over the last few days. He had withheld the information from her while she had been on leave, claiming that it wasn't something she needed to worry about. And every attempt on her part to get any information from the stubborn Colonel had been unsuccessful.

Now she listened in silence as he informed her about the missing reports from his desk, Fuery's missing equipment and the fact that someone had begun spreading stupid rumours – nothing major, but enough to raise the eyebrows of the higher-ups. And lastly, the brawl Havoc and Breda had been snared into during their scope out. They had been circling the perimeter, their route taking them nearer the city than its outskirts on the further side. A group of men had emerged from a seemingly derelict bar and surrounded them.

Matters had escalated quickly and no amount of reasoning was seen to have an effect on the men. In the end, the soldiers had to simply fight their way out without resorting to the use of weapons. Although the combat skills of the men weren't up to military standard, the sheer volume of the hostiles was too great, resulting in both Havoc and Breda having sustained minor injuries in the brawl.

'Nothing to write home about!' Havoc cheerily called out to Riza.

Breda grunted. 'Yeah, they're lucky we didn't kick their asses all the way from Central to East City!'

Despite their flippant remarks, Riza could see they were both agitated. This wasn't accidental. It was too much of a coincidence that this should happen, along with the rumours, the missing reports and equipment. Almost as though they were being sabotaged by someone … Riza looked to the Colonel and it was obvious to see that he had come to the same conclusion.

'I have my suspicions.' He replied grimly, to her unasked question.

They had steadily been able to repair the damage and the operation resumed although it was slow-going. They had to change their tactics, especially when it came to the stake out. They couldn't risk having Havoc and Breda seen out again in the field – especially now that they had been manipulated into engagement with strangers. Unfortunately, they hadn't been able to detain any of the men. Both soldiers had been outnumbered and once they had beat them back far enough to get some breathing room – the hostiles had escaped. It hindsight, it was clear that their objective had been to distract and draw attention to the two undercover soldiers. Whether they were part of the organization dealing in weaponry was not yet known.

Later that afternoon, Riza was washing her hands in the bathroom. She had refrained from thinking about the Colonel and what they had done together while she had been in the office. They were busy enough as it was and she didn't have the luxury of daydreaming. She had found it absurd and more than a little surprising to even think of it that way, as she wasn't usually one for entertaining such fantasies. However, now, while she had a few minutes to spare – she indulged herself by allowing her thoughts to wander back to the previous night.

Her eyes slipped closed as she thought about Roy – the way he had felt in her hands, then in her mouth, how he had tasted. How vulnerable and beautiful he had looked when she had brought him to the brink of ecstasy, the way he had smiled at her and kissed her afterwards … Her eyes popped open, her cheeks suddenly feeling warm. She wasn't surprised to see that she had been blushing when she looked at herself in the mirror.

She mentally chastised herself. Really now, she had to stop this. She couldn't allow such emotions to affect her so easily, not when she was spending the afternoon with the Colonel to work out a new strategy for the eventual stake out. She had to keep a level head. He would be counting on her. They had to gather as much intel as they possibly could before they could take action. It was set to be a busy couple of weeks and Riza was grateful that she had plenty to keep her mind occupied.

As the days slowly passed, Riza fell into a habit of work and sleep – very much like the old days, when she didn't have to worry about the monster lurking around the building, waiting to pounce. In fact, the thought of Kaiser was driven far from her mind and she didn't inwardly flinch when she looked across the canteen one day and saw him watching her quietly. Their eyes had locked for less than a minute before Havoc muttered something to her about a new lead and just like that, her attention was drawn away, her mind dropping all thoughts of what that sinister stare could mean.

The trick was not to deliberate. Brush it aside, move on – she had instructed herself. That was the only way. One step, before the other, soldier.

When Riza did allow herself to think, it was always at night. And even then, she wasn't plagued by unwelcome thoughts of the General anymore. It was the Colonel that strolled through her mind. Roy had stopped coming over since she had returned to work. She knew this would have been the case and was relived. She was aware just how big a risk he was taking coming to see her like that and even more so, that he was spending his nights with her. It really was for the best that he had started to keep his distance. Even at work, aside from the sincere smiles and the way he discreetly gazed at her with affection, they had reverted back to their former professional manner of commanding officer and subordinate. After the slip up in their investigation, they were being monitored by a few watchful, higher ranking officers. They couldn't afford to make mistakes now.

However, a small part of her yearned for Roy. She needed him close to her. She had become used to having him in her bed with his arms wrapped around her and seeing him sleeping peacefully beside her whenever she awoke with a start during the night from some bad dream. He had kissed her so much in those few days that it now felt strange to let a day pass without having his lips upon hers. Each night, she curled up in her sheets with her nose pressed against her pillow. His scent still lingered in her bed linen and it comforted her to know that yes, he had really been there and that she _hadn't_ simply dreamed the whole thing up. She continued to sleep in those sheets until his smell had faded completely.

* * *

For Colonel Roy Mustang, it had been a trying week. That little stunt on Kaiser's part – and he _knew_ it had been the General's doing – had cost him. Not only had it set them back by hindering the progress they had made thus far, it had forced them to severely change their tactics _and_ it had got the higher ranking officers in charge of Central Command, clucking their tongues and trading doubts. And all for what, some petty revenge? Acting rashly wouldn't do him any favours and if anything, it would just make matters worse. His entire team would suffer for his selfish actions and so, he had to bite down on his irritation for the time being. It had taken a herculean effort on his part not to storm into that bastard's office and burn the place down. If not for making a mess out of their investigation, then for what he had subjected Riza to.

Speaking of which, he wasn't even close to putting that behind him yet.

It wasn't forgotten and it certainly wasn't forgiven but for now, he allowed himself to concentrate on the task at hand. Casting aside his usual air of nonchalance, he had spent most of his time behind his desk, pouring over maps and reports, the start of a plan beginning to formulate in his mind. Despite the fluster of activity in the office, he would still sneak a glance her way. More often than not, she would ignore him. Then there were those rare times when she would finally relent and smile back, her entire face lighting up for that moment.

Those were the moments he lived for during those days, when neither dared to make contact any other way.

He was glad to see that Riza had returned to her former self. She seemed stronger, a sure presence by his side as he went about his business. Having been away from the office for a few days, she bought a fresh perspective and as always, he valued her opinions above all other. Together they had worked out a new plan of attack – all they needed was an opening.

That opening came on Thursday, when an excited Fuery burst into the office. Momentarily forgetting himself, he grinned at them all before remembering his place and saluting. Roy nodded for him to speak.

'I have a name and a possible rendezvous location!' Fuery beamed, unloading his armful of equipment on to his desk. Talking a deep breath, he went on to explain how he had been keeping tabs on their target location – a large, disused warehouse on the outskirts of Central. After having bugged not only their prime location but the surrounding buildings as well, he had spent hours listening to see if anything happened. After a while of radio silence, he had begun to hear voices.

At first, it had been nothing but a babble of sounds but eventually, he had begun to pick out a few. There was one dominant one with a slight southern drawl. He seemed to be the one in charge judging from the way the other voices fell silent when he began giving orders. The other voices had referred to him simply as 'Decker' – whether that was his first name or last or even his _real_ name was not yet known. Fuery had scribbled down a list of names, dates and shipments as well as details for a meeting between Decker and another individual – a potential customer.

'They're meeting at this bar called – ah, what was it?' Fuery rummaged through his notes. 'Pure Magnolia. Wednesday night, next week. 21:00 hours.'

There was a low whistle from Breda. 'Good job, Fuery.'

'How'd you manage to bug the place?' Havoc asked, impressed. 'More importantly, how'd you manage to get close enough without being spotted?'

'Or getting your ass kicked?' Breda interjected, helpful as always.

'Well …' Fuery blushed, taking a deep breath. 'I know a couple of guys on the Maintenance Crew. They were making their rounds quite near our target location. Something about the wiring in the old military buildings nearby. One of the guys – Callum Hendrix, owed me a favour. They got me a uniform and I joined them for a night. Got them to keep watch while I left the wire taps. It was easier than I thought it would be. We did it at the crack of dawn. The two goons who were supposed to be keeping watch were practically dozing! Besides, I never actually had to go _in_ – just left the devices under the inner side of the windows. Most of the panes had already been smashed in.'

'I'd like to know why you acted without the permission of your commanding officer. This move was not without its risks.' Roy frowned. 'The entire operation could have been jeopardized by a single mistake.'

Crossing his arms over this chest, he glared at Fuery. It wasn't that the Sergeant had acted without permission that had him so annoyed, but the fact that he had done so without informing him or the rest of the team. If Fuery had been discovered, he most certainly would have paid a price for it, most likely with his life. Roy wasn't about to lose one of his men so easily. He grudgingly had to admit – to himself, if no one else – that he had grown fond of this merry band of idiots – and losing one was not acceptable. But still, like hell he'd ever let it be known that _that_ was the sole reason for his aggravation.

Better to let the team assume he was more pissed over Fuery's actions than his safety. It was better that way. If they ever found out he was turning soft, he'd never hear the end of it. And Havoc and Breda were a handful enough as it was. As he waited for an answer, he made the mistake of glancing at his Lieutenant and groaned inwardly.

She _knew._

Her smirk said it all.

'If I may interrupt, sir.' Falman spoke, politely from his desk. 'Sergeant Fuery _did_ try and run the idea by you late last week. You were at your desk and you seemed distracted at the time, however you advised the Sergeant to do whatever he saw fit. I was in the area too, Colonel. Just to make sure everything went okay.'

'I did ask for your approval, sir.' Fuery suddenly piped up, his eyes had grown wide and bright. Compared to the others, he was the newest member of the team. Roy had assumed the admiration Fuery displayed when they first met would begin to wear off over the coming months. But now – well over a year later, looking into the young man's eyes, Roy could see it shine intently as ever. Despite his twenty-something years, he really did look young and vulnerable – nothing like a soldier. But he had the heart and bravery of one of the best soldiers Amestris had to offer.

Roy sighed, a sinking feeling washing over him. They were right. He did recall something about wire taps and uniforms for going undercover. He even remembered when Fuery had timidly approached him at his desk. At the time, he had been in a rage over that _fucking_ General. He had dismissively given Fuery the go ahead without taking anything in. Damn. Fuery was still staring at him earnestly and he suddenly found himself feeling a guilty. And irritated – this was another thing Kaiser had fucked up for him. Although he himself wasn't entirely blameless. From that moment on, Roy resolved to never let anything affect him from ensuring the safety of this team, first and foremost.

'You're right. I remember.' Roy replied, quietly. He moved closer to Fuery and placed his hand on the young man's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. 'Nicely played, Sergeant.'

The admiration in Fuery's eyes magnified ten-fold. 'Thank you, sir!'

'So what's the plan, Chief?' Breda asked, lounging back in his seat.

'I was thinking about going for a drink to this bar I've heard so much about.' Roy smirked, shooting a conspiratorial look at his Lieutenant. 'I may ask Elizabeth if she wants to come out and play.'

* * *

Roy Mustang was a dangerous man – of that, there was no doubt.

Although General Trent Kaiser had been impressed with his feats in Ishval, back in the office, he had written Mustang off as a manipulatively, cocky bastard. Lackadaisical in all his duties, his interest only piquing when it came to playing after dark. It was no secret that Mustang was a serial womaniser, shamelessly bragging over his conquests given the chance. The most frustrating part was that, people – soldiers and civilians alike – admired Mustang. They were drawn in by his charismatic nature, his good looks and his bravery. In the eyes of the public, he was still regarded as a hero.

But Kaiser knew the truth. He'd glimpsed the man beneath that glossy façade during that afternoon when they had been squared off against one another. And in that moment, he had seen the severity behind the Colonel's dark look; the tactician, the ambition, the rage and the fierce, fierce protectiveness over his Lieutenant. Kaiser had immediately understood why Mustang had been granted the title of Colonel at such a young age. It was just a ruse and the entire country had been swept in by it.

Forget 'dog of the military.'

Mustang was the proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing.

And when push came to shove, he knew that even orders wouldn't stop Mustang from retaliating when it came to the wellbeing of his precious Lieutenant being jeopardized. It would have done no good to taunt him any further, especially when he had been so precariously perched on the very edge of self-control. But that didn't matter to Kaiser. There were other ways to get back at the Colonel. Deliciously sly, inventive ways that would do more damage than flesh wounds ever could.

Mustang's weakness was his pretty little Lieutenant followed by the rest of his subordinates. Kaiser hadn't failed to notice how close they all were to each other. He remembered that evening when he had watched Riza leave. Their eyes had met and she had been terrified, frozen in place. Second Lieutenant Breda had come to her rescue, gently leading her away. Kaiser recalled how the Second Lieutenant's features had hardened when he'd noticed the General. Beneath the absolute loathing in Breda's eyes, Kaiser had seen that familiar protectiveness.

It had infuriated him.

His own subordinates were obedient, if nothing else. However, they followed him out of fear and duty, alone. There was no admiration and certainly no loyalty. They were brainless, yes-men. A force to command, nothing more. He both despised and envied what Mustang had. And then there was Lieutenant Hawkeye.

He'd had his eye on her for a while. He'd watched the way she followed the Colonel about – the way she helped him and protected him. She was strictly professional – not once had he witnessed anything to suggest there was a relationship between the two. Oh, but he could see it. The longing, the devotion … And it angered him that someone as frivolous, as undeserving as Mustang had captured the heart of Lieutenant Hawkeye as well. And that he had refused to let her go.

It was a pity.

She would have surely flourished under his command and yet, she had chosen to remain with the Colonel instead. But that was alright. Kaiser only needed to ask once. The next time, he would simply take.

He wasn't entirely too sure what it was about the Lieutenant that made him want her. Yes, she was beautiful, honest and highly skilled – there weren't many other women in the military that could match up to her – but he couldn't quite place where his sudden insatiable urge had come from. Their dinner out together on that night had been pleasant. They had chatted politely however, from her demeanour it was obvious that she thought of the occasion as only just _that,_ a simple dinner.

It had been clear that she was pining away for some other man. The painful, longing in her gaze and her sad smile seconds before he had intentionally bumped into her told him as such. She had hastily replaced the look with a neutral expression. It was only when he had followed her gaze as they had been walking out, had he noticed Mustang – watching them leave with a dark, angry look.

Maybe it was Mustang's possessiveness that did it.

His feelings for the Lieutenant – as lustful as they'd been over dinner, had twisted themselves into something else by the time he'd walked her to her door. He had pounced on her with wicked glee, relishing the way she had struggled under him. The usually tough, Lieutenant Hawkeye suddenly so helpless. Her tears had made him smirk and her cries had goaded him on, feeding his obsession. By the time he was done with her, he was _hooked._

Kaiser had seen her around the building this week and he was grateful for the rare glimpses he got as he watched her at work. It had irked him when she had disappeared for three whole days but now she was back. Annoyingly enough, she was never alone. One of the men from her team always accompanied her those few times when she wasn't accompanying the Colonel himself. But that was okay. He would hold back and he would plan.

It had been a little petty to fuck up Mustang's investigation after he had taken his Lieutenant away from Central Command. But it had made him feel a little better. It hadn't been too difficult to remove some of the files from Mustang's office when Falman had been called away for a few moments nor had there been any issues taking Fuery's equipment when he'd left the room for a latrine break. He'd even scrambled up some of the wiring for good measure. It had been easy to start the rumours. They did have a tendency to spread like wildfire in the office and these were no exception. The only tricky part had been to lure in Second Lieutenants Havoc and Breda. But then he knew more than his fair share of unsavoury individuals and it hadn't been too difficult, especially when his suggestions were followed by the promise of cold hard cash.

It was quiet in the office. His subordinates had all left with the exception of his secretary. He'd given her some work to do at the very last minute, intentionally delaying her departure. She'd looked disappointment when he'd handed her the bulging file, insisting that it needed to be done before she left but she hadn't complained. She'd accepted it with a quiet 'yes sir' and had been working quietly at her desk, just inside the door for the past hour.

This was all Riza's fault, of course. If she had just come to him, if he had been able to take her over the desk that afternoon, then he wouldn't have needed to resort to _this._ But he found himself resorting to this once again. This would be the third time now.

Cassandra Jenkins was easy on the eyes with her full lips and long hair. Her legs were definitely her best asset – smooth and tanned in her military skirt and heels, and he always found himself looking at them whenever he grew restless behind his desk. She was far too timid, however. Always willing to submit to any demands that he made. She was scared, he'd soon realised. Blinded by her sense of duty, just like the rest of his men.

When he summoned her to his desk, she came without a word however, he could see the reluctance in her walk, the fear in her stance. He knew she didn't want to be in his office or anywhere near him, for that matter. But that was neither here nor there. The reality was, she was stuck with him and he had free reign over her. After all, any complaints or accusations she dared to utter would fall upon deaf ears, their absurdity ridiculed.

He watched as her lips quivered as she waited for him to speak and he felt his own curving into a smirk. What a precious, little thing. Too bad she was just a casualty – again, Riza's fault. Pushing his chair back a little from his desk, he beckoned her to come around to him and like an obedient little puppy, she crept closer until she was standing between him and the desk.

Finally standing up, Kaiser, reached out to twirl her lovely hair around his finger playfully. He moved closer and inhaled. She smelled all wrong. Her perfume was overwhelmingly floral and fruity; too sweet and sickly. Not that he didn't like the smell of flowers. He just happened to like it mingling with the scent of gun powder – the way it did when he was close to a certain Lieutenant. He drew back, looking her in the eye.

Green. Not brown, like hers.

'Remember the last time I took you over my desk?' He crooned at her, his finger still twirling around her hair.

He watched as she nodded mutely, biting her lip. He knew that she hadn't liked it but she hadn't struggled either. She hadn't tried to fight him off. She had meekly submitted to him with a small cry of pain and silent tears.

'Do you remember how you were ever so good, how you lay there quietly and simply took it?' He tried to smile tenderly at her but he knew he was doing a bad job when her eyes widened in fear – not at his words, but at his shitty attempt at a smile. He laughed as she nodded again, blinking to hold back the sudden onslaught of fresh tears.

'Well, this time _don't_ …' The finger entangled in her hair, suddenly stopped being so playful. He yanked it down hard, along with the hair wrapped around it, causing her to yelp in pain. 'I want you to struggle against me. I want you to resist.'

Because that's what _Riza_ would have done. She wouldn't have succeeded but still, he appreciated her valiant efforts all the same. It made things … interesting.

He attacked her lips with his, wasting no time in shoving his tongue into her mouth. He heard her muffled cry, felt her place both hands on his chest in a feeble attempt to push him off. _Pathetic_ , Kaiser sighed. Pulling away, he spun her around so that her back was to him, before roughly pushing her face down on his desk. She was trembling violently as he yanked down her underwear. She made another weak attempt to wriggle away from him, but her held her down easily with one hand while he unzipped himself with the other. As the head of his shaft brushed against her, she froze.

'I said _struggle_.' He ordered.

She began crying softly instead.

Rolling his eyes, Kaiser pushed himself into her trembling body, launching straight into a furious pace, his thrusts hard enough to rock the heavy, oak desk. He fisted a handful of her long brown hair, cursing at her inwardly. Along with her scent, this was all wrong too.

Damn her for not being a blonde.


	10. Chapter 10

Coming Undone

Sunday saw Riza having a late breakfast with Rebecca. Their regular meet ups had grinded to a halt after the incident with the General. Any calls or invitations from Rebecca had been politely declined however, it was time to move on and get back to familiar ground. Rebecca's chatter and infectious laughter were exactly what she needed. Riza would have readily accepted her friend's invitation this time. She had wasted too many weekends shut away in her apartment. In the end, whatever her decision may have been, wouldn't have mattered. Rather than calling, Rebecca had decided to show up at Riza's door instead, full of smiles and unwilling to accept defeat.

Now, they were seated at their usual café – a place not too from her apartment. Rebecca had happily made the journey from East City to Central for her and Riza found herself feeling guilty for having kept her friend at arm's length for as long as she had. But then again, Rebecca was the wrong person to confide in about such issues. While true, she was caring and had Riza's best interests at heart, she did tend to get carried away at times.

'Can you believe there are no men in East City!' Rebecca moaned, jabbing at her eggs with her fork. 'I'm depressingly single. And _bored_.'

'I highly doubt that.' Riza replied, dryly, hiding a smile. 'What happened to your team and the rest of the staff? Did they just up and leave?'

'You know what I mean.' Rebecca gave her a half-hearted glare. 'They're just boys! I need a man. You're so lucky, Riza. You have all the good ones here!'

'It's true!' Rebecca insisted, when Riza laughed. 'You have Colonel Mustang for a start. I know he's got a reputation as being a ladies' man but think about the lucky girl who can finally lock him down!'

Riza watched as the dreamy expression on her friend's face suddenly become more calculating. 'You should definitely try and get in there, Riza. If anyone's got a shot, it's you.'

'Need I remind you that the Colonel is my commanding officer?' Riza replied, perhaps sounding a tad sharper than she had intended. 'You're aware of the fraternization laws, Rebecca.'

'Still,' Rebecca replied, stubbornly. 'Maybe a secret torrid love affair with your commanding officer is exactly what you need. A little excitement in the office. What have you been doing besides working and sleeping, anyway? Any guys on the front?'

'No, I don't have anybody in mind.' Riza picked up her cup and took a sip, using the time to think of a way to draw Rebecca away from this topic. They were in dangerous territory. 'Do you have your dress for the Military Ball yet?'

Shopping for dresses wasn't something that filled her with excitement but she was willing to discuss this over the alternative.

'I'd almost forgotten about the ball! I'll be sure to meet someone there.' Rebecca beamed, before lowering her voice to a whisper. 'Maybe I can even snare a General.'

Riza found herself sighing softly. Sometimes, Rebecca seemed to have a one-track mind.

'Your choices are pretty limited.' Riza grudgingly went along. 'Most of the generals are either married or much too old for you.'

'Maybe I should try for a Colonel then …' Rebecca paused, looking at her closely. 'If you don't mind?'

Riza knew exactly whom her friend was referring to. She felt torn between amusement and sympathy. To say the Colonel wasn't keen on the loud and bubbly Rebecca would have been an understatement. But still, better this than having Rebecca suddenly latch on to the prospect of trying to win General _Kaiser_ over – who happened to be both younger and unmarried, unlike the rest of the Generals. Besides, she had full confidence that the Colonel would have more class than to let Rebecca down any way other than kindly.

'Be my guest.' Riza sighed.

* * *

Monday morning – the sky was still dark out and Roy Mustang was making his way through the building of Central Command. It was stupidly early, even by his Lieutenant's standards. Despite his line of work, he had never been a morning person. That was Riza – the habitually early riser, even during their childhood. But even so, he knew it would be well over an hour before he would see her today.

They were due to put their plan into action. They needed to capture this Decker in the act of selling or attempting to sell stolen weapons on Wednesday, as per Fuery's intel. They couldn't afford further setbacks and so, there was still a lot to do before then. The location of the bar needed to be checked out as well as the bar itself, along with all entries and exit points and possible sniper advantages. A lot to do, in little time but he was confident that they could do this and do it _right_ – thus putting an end to any doubt the higher ups may have had. Eager to put on a pot of coffee and get started with his workload, he quickened his pace.

Roy hadn't spotted a uniformed officer yet, high ranking or otherwise. Aside from the couple of men from the maintenance crew he had passed – idly polishing a window or pushing a supply cart – the hallways had been deserted. And so, he was taken by surprise when he saw her.

An attractive young woman, dressed in military uniform. However, her attire differed to that of female soldiers. Rather than pants and boots, she was wearing a skirt and heels. A permanent desk job, then. Perhaps, an administrative or secretarial position. She had just emerged from an adjoining corridor, clutching an armful of files – and even at this early hour, her pretty features were pinched with distress.

She stopped short upon seeing him, appearing more anguished than surprised.

'Good morning.' He greeted her politely.

She gave him a nod, her long brown hair falling into her eyes. When she replied, her voice was soft, a slight tremor just beneath the surface. 'Good morning, Colonel Mustang.'

The quiver beneath her words hasn't escaped his attention. He studied her carefully. She seemed familiar and yet … He couldn't quite place her. She'd only met his gaze briefly; her emerald eyes were now trained on the floor at his feet.

'Didn't think I'd be seeing anyone here so early.' Roy mused, glancing out of the window. The Eastern sky was finally beginning to grow lighter, the sun which had been hidden behind the wall of clouds, slowly swallowing the darkness.

'The workload this month is heavier than usual.' Her arms tightened around her files. 'General Kaiser likes me to start as early as possible.'

And there it was.

Roy suddenly realized why she had seemed so familiar. He had sat around listening to Havoc and Breda describe and drool over Kaiser's new secretary. They had shamelessly discussed her assets, perhaps, a little more often than he cared to admit. So far neither of them had been successful in getting to know her beyond a professional capacity. He glanced at her legs and sure enough, they were exactly as Breda had described.

An idea slowly crept into his mind.

'Can't fault your work ethic.' This time his voice was warmer, his natural charisma shining through as he deftly plucked the files from her arms and flashed her a smile. 'Allow me to carry these for you.'

While she did seem surprised, he could see that his change in demeanour had affected hers as well. She didn't seem quite so perturbed now, appearing a little more at ease around him. She offered him a shy smile in return. 'Thank you, sir. But really, there's no need.'

'I insist.' He replied smoothly, beginning to walk towards Kaiser's office. It was on the way to his own so no harm done. She quietly walked beside him, unsure of what to do with her hands now that her files had been taken away. She was delightful to watch and he couldn't help but tease her.

'If you were one of mine, I guess I would be guilty of keeping you in my office with me as much as possible.'

He watched as she blushed, ducking her head away from him and he found himself smirking. Sometimes it was just too easy. However, his little game only lasted so long. As they stopped outside the office door, he couldn't help but notice the way she reverted to her former self. Her green eyes darkening with what he could only describe as apprehension. When he handed her the files, she took them at once, instinctively holding them against her chest as though in preparation for shielding herself against whatever lay waiting for her beyond the door.

'Thank you for walking me to the office, Colonel Mustang.' Her words were practically a whisper. She tried to smile at him.

'My pleasure.' He stepped closer to her – just for a moment, and murmured. 'Just remember, I'm here if you need me.'

He gave her a meaningful look, allowing her to interpret his words any way she desired. Whatever interpretation she had made, caused her to blush at him once more, before hurriedly nodding and stepping into the office.

Roy was left in the empty hallway to ponder.

… What was her name again?

No matter, he would find out.

She was a vital thread. One he couldn't afford to let go.

* * *

It was late into Tuesday evening when Riza finally looked up from her desk. The other men had retired for the night, leaving her alone with the Colonel. Quietly, she put away her work, before standing up to stretch. It wasn't something she would have done in the presence of others. Her professionalism won over discomfort every time. But they were alone and the Colonel's chair was facing the other way. He sat, staring out of the window, deep in thought.

The two days before they were due to execute their plan had been productive. If this was going to work, every angle needed to be covered. There could be no room for setbacks, no blind spots. Each variable had its own contingency plan. And Riza was confident that it would run smoothly. A fresh wave of determination came over her at the thought. She would _ensure_ it would all go to plan – for the Colonel's sake, if nothing else. Whatever happened, any mistakes or victories would fall on his shoulders first. It was her job to protect him.

On Monday night, Havoc had jumped at the chance to take a date to Pure Magnolia to check out the establishment. Breda had followed at a distance to survey the surrounding area, pinpointing places where they can discreetly station themselves to keep watch on the night. The bar was tucked away in a maze of back streets on the far side of Central.

Falman had traced all possible routes from the main road to the front door. The streets where too narrow and encumbered with dumpsters and boxes for a vehicle to travel down and so, the only way to get to the bar was either to walk the entire way (which was doubtful, given that Decker would be travelling all the way from the warehouse on the outskirts) or to take a taxi and then walk the short distance from the main road to the bar itself.

Shaking away her thoughts, Riza softly approached the Colonel's chair. It had been a while since they had been alone together. But even now, while the building was quiet and practically deserted, she knew better than to let down her guard. She was just about to wish him goodnight, when he sensed her presence and swivelled his chair to face her.

His appearance wasn't quite up to military standards. Riza wasn't surprised, nor was it something she could ever chastise him for. It was late, he had worked tirelessly, ensuring no detail had been overlooked. He'd briefed his men and ironed out any remaining kinks in their plan. And on top of that, she had nagged him to complete the unexpected load of paperwork that had fallen on to their desks that afternoon.

The trials of the last couple of weeks had taken their toll. The collar of his now rumpled military jacket was slumped down and crooked, the top few buttons of the dress shirt he wore underneath had been unfastened, exposing his throat. He seemed fatigued, his hair mussed up from having run his fingers impatiently through it. Despite all that, his smile was genuine. His dark eyes, still held their warmth as they drank her in.

Riza found herself smiling tenderly at him. He looked so vulnerable, almost boyish like this. She wanted to scoop him up in her arms and tell him he had done everything he possibly could to make this work. That he didn't need to worry because everything would go accordingly tomorrow night and that she would be there, by his side to see to it that it did. But most importantly, she wanted to take him home with her, tuck him up beside her in bed and kiss him sweetly, ensuring he got the rest he deserved.

But of course, she didn't voice any of this. It was inappropriate – along with the sudden urge to casually brush the hair away from his eyes. His gaze was gentle upon her, but even still, she couldn't bring herself to move either toward or away from him.

Roy leaned forward slowly, taking her hand in his. Although his grip was firm, his thumb was gentle as it stroked the back of her hand. When he spoke, his voice was soft, intimate. And once again, there was more than one meaning behind his words.

'Are you with me, Lieutenant?'

And she hoped, he would pick up the meaning behinds hers as well. She meant it in every single way possible.

'I'll always be with you, sir.'

* * *

Roy Mustang had frequented more than his fair share of dubious establishments in the past – whether that had been due to a covert operation or times when he'd willingly lowered himself into the gutter, in a pathetic attempt to quell the pain in his own traitorous heart. Three something in the morning, when even his fill of sex from some faceless, nameless woman wasn't enough to satiate his craving.

He would drag himself down to the darker parts of Central, places where the booze and women were aplenty. He would drink into the early hours, his eyes lingering on their dresses and curves. He didn't want them, not really. However, he couldn't have the only woman he _did_ want and so, he drank and watched without truly seeing – his mind preoccupied with a certain blonde, dressed in military attire. His empty stare wouldn't go unnoticed and his handsome good looks would draw the women in, their words dripping with honey.

But despite their best efforts to engage him, it didn't make a difference. Because in those moments, he wasn't Colonel Roy Mustang, notorious womaniser. He was a boy again, back in that crumbing old house from his childhood, wondering how he could get the pretty alchemist's daughter to accept him. And in those moments, back in that dreary bar, he didn't exist for himself – his heart beat only for her.

However, it was different this time around. They were sitting in a plush, shadowy booth and he had his arm casually slung around the shoulders of the blonde beauty of his dreams. His face was buried in her neck, his lips and tongue busily working her into submission.

Despite its name, Pure Magnolia was the epitome of debauchery. Havoc had warned him multiple times, but he had still been surprised when they had walked in. His 'date' had been positively shocked. The emotion had only fleetingly crossed her pretty face, but he had caught it nonetheless. He had simply smirked at her in response.

Although it was nowhere near its maximum occupancy limit, there was still a good size crowd. The music pulsated though the building. Aside from the long bar, and the scantily clad women – dancing, flirting, serving drinks, eagerly chatting to customers and draping themselves over their arms – there were a row of booths along the back wall.

They were deeply concave, the opening narrow. Each booth was upholstered in red and dark purple velvet, complete with a small table. They were private booths, designed for couples. The lighting was kept dim above them and it was impossible to tell what its occupants were doing unless one walked right up and stood at the opening of the booth to peer down.

He hadn't hesitated in pulling her into one.

They had to wait until they were given the signal to act. He figured they may as well make themselves comfortable and have a little fun. Although they both had very different ideas on what that actually meant …

'Shame on you, Roy Mustang. Bringing a lady to a place like this.' She pushed him back a little, giving him a playfully disapproving look. 'I don't think I like where your intentions are at.'

'I can assure you, my intentions are entirely honourable.' He smirked down at her, letting his hand slip in through the slit of her dress, before slowly travelling up her bare thigh. 'My hands, however, have a mind of their own …' His fingers brushed the inside of her thigh, tracing intimate patterns on her soft skin. 'I'm sure you can forgive them. You're so beautiful, after all. What else can they do?'

She was absolutely stunning in her scarlet, figure hugging dress. The slits on either side were generous, practically mid- thigh and he knew she'd chosen this style because it would enable her to move easily and give chase, if needed. It would also give her easy access to the pistol he knew was snugly holstered to her right leg. Understandably, the dress was high in the back, covering her tattoo and scars.

But the front … Although the neckline was tastefully cut and not too revealing, it did still manage to draw his eye to her ample cleavage. Her hair was put up in a more elaborate style, with silky tendrils snaking down the sides and back of her neck, here and there – giving her a softer look. Her polished nails and berry-stained lips matched the shade of her dress perfectly.

'You're _such_ a flatterer.' She giggled, moving in to give him a kiss on his cheek. She placed her hand over his and gently removed it from her thigh, entwining their fingers together.

The giggle wasn't hers, of course. She was playing the part of Elizabeth. At first, she had been hesitant to cross the line, to let him touch and kiss her so publicly, but after a while, she had given in. Nobody from the military would dare show their faces in a place like this. And if they _were_ spotted by any chance, they could hide behind the fact that they were merely playing their parts. Besides, it would have seemed strange and suspicious _not_ to sit in such a place without so much as a kiss or a touch. The majority of the men were pawing shamelessly at their female counterparts – why stand out from the crowd?

It was all too convenient for Roy, who had been pleased by the fact that he could show his affection for her so freely. They had spent enough time behind closed doors and although, Pure Magnolia wasn't a place he would have ever taken Riza on an _actual_ date, it felt good to sit in a bar with his arm around her shoulders and kiss her whenever he damn well pleased. Speaking of which …

He leaned forward to give her another kiss on the lips, deep enough to taste the strawberry daiquiri she had been sipping on.

'I wonder if the rest of you tastes like strawberries as well …' He murmured to her, lowering his gaze suggestively down her body before smirking up at her.

He knew he was treading a thin line.

'Maybe you'll find out.' She purred at him, plucking the sliced strawberry that had been used as a garnish, from her glass and holding it to his lips.

He accepted the fruit, ensuring his tongue skimmed teasingly against her fingertips before his lips closed around the berry.

He was delighted with her flirtatious behaviour. He knew she was only playing her part but it still thrilled him to know that behind Elizabeth, it was still Riza calling the shots. After what had happened to her in the office with that bastard, he knew he shouldn't push her boundaries. He couldn't help but think back to her internal battle and his own frantic attempts to keep himself in check during those three nights he had spent with her. He shouldn't be using this operation to touch her as he pleased but he couldn't help himself. Not tonight, not here.

And surprisingly enough, she didn't seem uncomfortable nor fazed by the contact. On the contrary, she seemed to thrive on it. She had welcomed him – teasing him, her fingertips dancing on the inside of his wrist, playing with his hair at the nape of his neck and resting gently against his cheek as she gazed at him. Edging closer to him to whisper into his ear and then shyly pulling away when his own desire made him growl softly and tighten his arms around her. He knew the sentiment came from somewhere deep within the real Riza.

Elizabeth just amplified it.

He didn't think his usually reserved Lieutenant would ever whisper such provocative things to him. Even away from work, when she was just Riza, the words would cause her to blush. It was Elizabeth's persona that did it, along with the strawberry daiquiris, of course.

He watched in amusement as she snapped open her evening bag, picking out her lipstick and a small compact mirror. Carefully reapplying it, she slipped it back inside her bag. He had just managed to glimpse another pistol nestled among her make-up and keys.

'I like a dangerous woman.' He whispered, slipping his arm around her and drawing her close once more to claim her lips. But she avoided him this time, not wanting him to mess up the fresh coat of colour she had just applied.

'And I like a dangerous man.' She purred, smiling sweetly at him. 'But right now, you don't fit that bill.'

He must have looked stupidly confused because she laughed, a throaty, sexy sound spilling from her lips. She reached out and touched his face, her fingers gently rubbing away the lipstick smudges from his mouth and chin. She held out her berry-stained fingertips for him to see.

'Come _here_.' He pulled her close, his arms tightening around her slim frame as he glared at her in mock annoyance. She gazed up at him, all innocence and sweetness. He fought to keep from laughing and instead found himself grinning wolfishly at his pretty blonde, before he leaned in to kiss her – _thoroughly –_ deliberately messing up her lipstick once more.

Sometimes he really couldn't help himself.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:** When I first started writing this story, my classes and part time job were only just staring. This was the reason, I was able to update every few days and at one point, update three consecutive days as well. Due to work and university demands, I have struggled to retain my pace. I'm sure you have noticed this for the last two chapters or so. I really want to keep the updates steady and at the same time, I don't want to rush to post a chapter as I don't want to deliver a sub-par product. This is why I have decided that from now on, a **new chapter will be posted every Sunday.** This ensures I have an entire week to work on my chapter as well as keeping up with my other responsibilities. I hope you consider this fair.

FYI, chapters 10 and 11 were supposed to be one chapter but I ended up splitting it as otherwise it would have been stupidly long.

As always, your feedback is welcome and much appreciated. So please read and review. Thank you!

Coming Undone

Outside things weren't as interesting. Fuery had been waiting on the main road. He had wedged himself in an empty doorway of a now closed café. This was partly to remain hidden but mostly to shield himself from the bitter cold. As darkness had fallen, the temperature had dropped. And despite his heavy jacket and polo neck, he was still shivering miserably. He had spent the past hour people watching, while keeping a sharp eye out for Falman.

 _This_ was the place. Just several yards to his left, was the opening to the narrow side street that would lead one to Pure Magnolia. Regardless of whether Decker was travelling by car or foot, he would be entering the maze of back streets through this opening.

Despite the frigid air outside, the main street was bustling. The traffic was heavy and slow. Taxis kept crawling past, stopping just long enough to spill its passengers on to the street. Most disappeared through the various doors of restaurants, bars and clubs situated on the main road while a select few slipped into the dark side street to Fuery's left – obviously seeking a different type of thrill.

Fuery paid close attention to these. There were two people that were of high interest tonight. Decker and his potential customer – although the latter wasn't as important. There would always be more customers. The main objective was to get to the source. And while they didn't know what Decker looked like, Fuery kept his eyes peeled for anyone who seemed remotely suspicious – such as a possible vigilante looking to buy weapons for his cause. After all, one would lead them to the other.

It would be Falman who would indicate the presence of Decker. It had been his task to keep watch outside the warehouse and tail their target – ultimately arriving at the main road a few seconds apart, if everything went accordingly. A few more days of listening in on the warehouse had informed them that Decker would be arriving by car. This had given them enough time to station their own vehicle nearby and follow at a safe distance.

A smart black car slipped away from the line of traffic and came creeping up to stop at the pavement, directly opposite Fuery. A few moments later, a van pulled up a few yards behind it and a neatly dressed man stepped out, a newspaper tucked under his arm.

Pausing on the pavement for a moment, Falman turned up his collar against the wind, his eyes locking on to Fuery's before deliberately drifting to the black car. _Decker's in there._ Fuery adjusted his glasses in response, causing Falman to give a discreet nod before calmly walking into the closest bar. There he would wait for the time being. It was too much of a risk for him to follow Decker to the bar so soon – just in case he had been spotted along the way.

Fuery turned his attention back to the car. It had sat there with the engine running for a few minutes as though the driver and passengers were having a conversation. Finally, a heavy-set man clamoured out, clutching a briefcase. It wasn't clear how many passengers were in the car but he was the only one that exited. A moment later, the car pulled away.

So, this was Decker, then.

Fuery didn't need to worry about losing sight of their target. He was wearing a tacky white suit for a start. The material stretching tightly across his chest and back to the point where the clothing didn't just look ill fitting, it looked plain uncomfortable. His dark hair was slicked back with grease and despite the rapidly plummeting temperature, there were faint sweat patches on the sides of his suit jacket. He shuffled as he walked, looking every inch the bumbling idiot but the beady eyes in his rotund face were sharp and calculating, his mouth set in an expression of grim determination.

And sure enough, he made a beeline for the narrow opening – heading straight down the side street towards the Pure Magnolia. How long would it take him to get there? Fifteen minutes or so? That should give them plenty of time. A few moments after Decker had disappeared into the darkness, another figure – seemingly drunk – lurched into the side street to follow.

They were certainly not going to let him out of their sight now. Breda would follow him to the entrance of the bar, before making a turn and taking his place on a nearby roof top, opposite Havoc – who was already keeping an eye out on the streets below. Falman would then make his way to Pure Magnolia later, with additional troops to escort both suspects back to Central Command. It was Fuery's job to keep them well connected. Both Breda and Havoc were already set up with small radio sets.

 _Stay close, Breda,_ Fuery thought, before rushing off to make the call.

* * *

'Hello Kate. Are you kidding? It's always a _pleasure_ hearing from you.'

Riza watched silently as Roy spoke on the phone. A few minutes ago, the owner had approached their booth to gruffly inform the Colonel that he had a call waiting. They were now sitting at the bar, with Roy leaning over it, holding the phone to his ear, the line stretched over the bar top. He was using his overly flirtatious tone – the one he used when he was speaking to her Elizabeth. Riza knew he was currently speaking to Kain Fuery.

'Alright, well …' He laughed warmly, listening for a few more minutes. 'Good to know. I'll be seeing you.'

Hanging up, he turned back towards her and grinned. 'Sorry about that.'

'That's alright.' She replied curtly – she had to play her part, after all. And her 'date' had just spent the last five minutes chatting to another _woman_ on the phone.

Riza had been nervous when she had been getting herself ready for the evening ahead. And it had more to do with the Colonel than the operation itself. She knew she had to look the part but she couldn't deny the fact that she had made an extra effort just for him. It was rare for her to get dressed up like this. The last few times they had been together during a social event had been for drinks after work. And she had been dressed in her military attire then.

She had never been one to pay attention to silly details such as the colour of her nails or the way her hair looked – but that evening, she had spent extra time on herself. It had been worth it though. The look on the Colonel's face had been utterly priceless when he had first caught sight for her. He hadn't been able to say much in the presence of the others but she had felt his dark gaze trailing her while they had made last minute preparations before heading out.

For once she had wanted to feel pretty and feminine. She wanted to spend the evening with him at a bar and be _normal_. However, they were undercover on assignment. She was playing a character and he was using this as an excuse to shamelessly put his hands all over her. Not that she minded _that._ Given the way things were, this was as normal as it was ever going to get for them. Marriage, babies and a cosy little house out in the country was nothing but a pipe dream. A dream that was in her best interests to _forget_ entirely.

Riza gave the Colonel a warning look when he tried to lean in for a kiss. They were sitting at the bar now and they were much more exposed. She had been hesitant to allow him to kiss or touch her at first – even in the safety of the booth. They were in public, someone could see them. Undercover or not, they were still commanding officer and subordinate.

However, most couples were getting hot and heavy with each other, in full view of the bar and nobody seemed to notice or care. She hadn't spotted any military personnel in the building and given the place and the way other couples were behaving – as disgraceful as it was – she had grudgingly relented. It would have seemed strange _not_ to follow suit. They were supposed to remain inconspicuous, after all.

She enjoyed the attention – the kisses and caresses, his lips whispering dirty things into her ear and the way his gaze lingered on her. A maelstrom of emotions lived within his dark eyes this evening. She had been able to pick out a few – tenderness, desire, frustration, amusement … He was affectionate with her and yet, lustful as his hands roamed daringly up her thigh, dangerously close to the intimate place between her legs. His fingers trailed along the tops of her breasts, cupping them gently before brushing her nipples teasingly through the thin fabric of her dress. And she allowed him to do as he pleased.

Maybe playing Elizabeth had made her more daring. Or maybe it was because she knew there was no way they would lose control out here. It's not as though they were alone, the way they had been in the archive room. Or those times when they had been lying in bed together. She had felt completely helpless then – at the mercy of not just his desire, but her own as well. But here, there would always be something holding them back from going too far.

In a sense, he had probably come to the same conclusion – that doing this here was safer, ironically enough. He had been patient with her. He had controlled himself, refrained from touching her inappropriately back they had been alone in bed. She couldn't blame him for taking advantage of the situation now. She knew that he would cease his ministrations as soon as she dropped her coy pretences and asked him to stop.

He would never cross the line.

Riza calmly took a sip of her drink, watching him from beneath her lashes. He was dashingly handsome, dressed impeccably in a dark, three-piece suit and polished shoes. The way his raven hair fell messily into his eyes and his devilish smile offset his smart attire, giving him a roguish air. The warmth radiating from his body, along with the scent of his cologne made her feel as though something soft and delicate was beginning to unfurl in the pit of her stomach. This gave way to a tender ache for him.

The frequent lingering looks he was attracting from the other women hadn't failed to escape her attention. She wasn't surprised. He managed to attract stares wherever he went, leaving women sighing and cooing in his wake. What secretly thrilled her to no end was that he hadn't even noticed the stares. Come to think of it, he hadn't bothered to even look at another woman – other than giving them a passing, thoughtless glance as he had surveyed the room when they had first entered. She had been the centre of his attention the entire time. It was astounding how he managed to make her feel like the most important woman in the room even while he was shamelessly pawing at her.

'Kate's a just a friend.' He said, answering a question she hadn't even bothered to ask.

'I'll bet.' She smirked at him. 'What did she want, anyway?'

'Just a friendly warning.' Roy took a sip of his drink and smirked. 'Looks like our date's about to get a lot more interesting.'

* * *

Fortunately, their target had made himself hard to miss. When Decker entered the club, his white ensemble made him stand out in the crowd. Bright white in a mass of navy, black and greys. Nearly all the men were wearing dark colours. The pops of colour – crimson, turquoise, canary yellow and hot pink belonged to the dresses of the women. Decker snaked his way to the bar, taking a seat. He placed his briefcase on the barstool beside him, a protective hand resting upon it. No prizes for guessing its contents, then.

They had retreated to the booth once more. It was a place where they could remain hidden and keep watch. From their location, they had a full view of the bar as well as the front door along with the small hallway, leading to the lavatories and the back door. Regardless of which entrance Decker chose to enter or escape from, they would have it covered.

Riza's sharp gaze had no trouble picking him out of the crowd. She had followed his slow progress through the crowds until he had finally plopped himself on to the barstool. He was overweight, clearly unfit. They would have no problem chasing him down, if needed. Beside her, she knew the Colonel was watching him intently too.

'Guess it's time for me to make my move.' Riza smoothed her dress down, the feel of the holster strapped around her thigh, oddly reassuring. She picked up her evening bag and tried to stand up but something held her back. The Colonel's arm was still securely wrapped around her waist, even though his gaze was still trained on Decker.

'… Sir?' She questioned, tentatively. This was the first time during the evening that she had addressed him in such a way. But it was appropriate. Whatever playful mood he had spent the earlier part of the evening in had all but evaporated. When he finally looked at her now, she could see _Colonel Mustang_ and not Roy. He remained silent, his dark expression calculating. She knew he was thinking strategically now. His eyes had been focused on their target but beneath that professional intent, she could see something else creeping through.

Possessiveness.

His arm around her tightened.

She wasn't too keen on wandering over to the bar and flirting with him. She had a feeling that Decker would be every bit as sleazy as he looked. She needed to be near him though. Make him think she was harmless with no hidden intent, other than scoring a free drink and some friendly chatter from a man at a bar. When his contact arrived, she would excuse herself and hop a few barstools over, while still being within earshot. Hopefully, neither of the men would question it and see her as just another woman trying to pick up a date.

A part of her felt repulsed playing such a game after what had happened with the General. She was courting danger and usually, she wouldn't have had an issue with it. She was used to her life being in danger – that was perfectly fine. What she couldn't handle was the thought of sexually encouraging a man, manipulating him in such a way so that he was thinking disgusting things about her – to the point where he was more concerned with the needs of his own body than anything else. She needed him to lower his guard.

Although the Colonel didn't know the extent of the damage caused by the General or what he had truly done to her, he _had_ witnessed her most wretched moments that night when he'd taken her home from the office. She had confessed to him that she had been held down and bent over her desk so it was understandable that he didn't want her going over there now to flirt needlessly with their target – a _criminal_ , no less.

They had argued about this back in the office when they had been alone. She had pointed out that his feelings for her were the main reason he was objecting to this and there was no way she would let something like that affect an operation. Their duty came before anything else. Grudgingly, he had backed down. But now, it was obvious he was having second thoughts.

'It will be okay.' She reached out for his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze to try and bring him back from his dark thoughts.

It seemed to work. He responded with a tight smile, his arm around her waist finally relaxing. After giving him a brisk nod, she took the opportunity to slip out of the booth. As she slowly made her way through the crowd and towards Decker, she could feel the Colonel's gaze following her. He would be watching the entire time. Despite what she was about to do, it made her feel safe.

* * *

His fist was clenched tight under the table. The ignition glove that covered his hand, straining at the seams beneath his silent fury. He knew it was just an act, a ploy to get information but watching Riza flirt and chat with Decker was enough to make his blood boil. He kept a sharp eye on her and more importantly, on Decker's hands. If he so much as _touched_ her, he would torch both hands until the bastard was left with mere stumps …

Roy had been entertaining himself with murderous thoughts for maybe, another twenty minutes or so, when he realised that someone was inching towards Decker. The man was dressed in loose-fitting, dark clothes. His light grey hair was cropped short and his skin was well tanned. Despite the dim lighting in the club, the man wore sunglasses. An Ishvalan, possibly? Committing all distinguishing features to memory, Roy watched as the stranger hovered near Decker.

After a few moments, Decker tore his eyes away from Riza and spoke a few words to the man before looking back at her, expectantly. Roy watched as Riza laughed and excused herself. She hopped a few seats over and began to idly twirl the swizzle stick in her drink. He knew she had left her compact mirror near Decker on purpose. When they had been chatting, she had nonchalantly applied her lipstick once more. The lipstick had been placed back in her bag whereas the compact had been left on the bar top. Now it was still sitting there. Roy would see it between their two targets. Neither one of the men seemed to notice its presence.

Maybe Riza couldn't hear what they were discussing over the noise in the bar, despite her proximity. However, he knew Fuery would be picking up every word uttered thanks to the tiny microchip he had hidden within the compact. It was not only being listened to but recorded as well. Hard evidence. All he had to do now was witness the exchange and then follow them out of the bar to make the catch, securing the items at the same time.

Their discussion was lengthy. When it finally ended, Decker's companion picked up the briefcase and slowly began making his way out of the bar. He was headed for the back entrance. Leaving the booth, Roy's gaze locked on to Riza's – and they exchanged a silent message. She was in the process of taking her former place beside their target. Decker seemed in no hurry to leave and looked ecstatic as Riza moved to sit next to him. Though he loathed to leave her, she would be safer staying here than following the armed man who was currently nearing the small passage way leading to the back exit. Without further hesitation, Roy followed the man out into the night.

* * *

Decker _may_ have been a mastermind in this operation but when it came to women, he was an idiot. He was pathetically leery and not at all intimidating. When his hand had creeped toward her, she had been firm with him yet playful – enough so that he would keep his hands to himself for now even while he pitifully flirted with her. She didn't want to drive him away by being too stern. She wanted to appear hard to get. Clearly he would be up to the challenge. After all, it seemed every man wanted what he couldn't get.

The General was a prime example of that. Compared to _him_ , Decker was a pussycat. Riza found herself feeling in control once more. _This_ is how she needed to feel, the next time she was unfortunate enough to face Kaiser. But she knew it was easier said than done. She pushed that familiar taste of fear to the back of her mind.

Right now, the Colonel was tailing Decker's customer. They'd headed out the back way, meaning Breda would be covering the Colonel's back. Havoc was situated at the front of the club. Both were high up, keeping watch over the narrow streets, waiting for their targets to leave. Both were equipped with radios so they could keep in touch – with each other, as well as Fuery.

Picking up her compact mirror from the bar top, Riza casually slipped it back inside her evening bag. Fuery's embedded microchip had been an ingenious idea. Although she had heard snippets of their conversation, it hadn't been enough to piece anything together. The background noise had made it difficult.

'Wanna get outta here, doll face?' Decker slurred. The stink of stale alcohol on his breath was enough to make her scuttle back on her bar stool. Although he was still leering at her, his eyes were unfocused. This should be easy now. Riza forced herself to smile through gritted teeth. She would lure him out from the front entrance, find a nice shady spot and make her intention known. It was time to end this little game.

'I thought you would never ask.' She giggled.

* * *

'Good Looker, here. Come in, B Dragon. Status report.'

'B Dragon, reporting. Flame Boy has followed target outside. Current location, adjacent South View Street. Proceeding engagement. Your status, Good Looker. Dumbass name, by the way.'

'Nothing to report. No sighting of White D or Scarlet Guns. Also, look who's talking, _B_ Dragon.'

'Guys! Quit it and keep your eyes on the street below. Breda – does the target appear to be hostile?'

'….'

'Come in, Breda!'

'….'

'Fine! Come in, B Dragon.'

'Currently in engagement. No hostility at present. Will keep you informed, Furious Dawg.'

'… Do we get a choice in these names?'

'Good Looker, here. Let's put it this way, _you_ don't.'

* * *

It was colder than she'd anticipated and she found herself shivering. She hoped Decker wouldn't notice and draw closer to her in some attempt at chivalry. The street lamps were few and far in between, so they were walking through patches of shadows. She knew Havoc would be somewhere up on the rooftops, watching. For his sake, she tried to remain in the well-lit areas. Decker had already stopped up ahead in the shadows. She waited until he retraced his steps, to stand before her. The cold air seemed to have blown away the cobwebs from his mind. He suddenly didn't seem as drunk anymore – his eyes shone with a cold clarity.

'How about a kiss?' Decker grinned at her, moving closer, his pudgy hands reaching out to her. 'You've been teasing me long enough.'

Riza calmly took a step back. With one fluid motion, she had her pistol whipped out of her bag and pointed at his feet. 'How about a dance instead?'

The reality of the situation didn't seem to register with Decker. Maybe he thought she wasn't serious or perhaps, he didn't think it was a real gun in her hands. Riza found herself vaguely wondering why on earth he would assume a woman to be carrying a _fake_ weapon in her bag. Surely he dealt with enough firearms to spot a real one? Maybe the alcohol was still affecting him somewhat. The sight of her pistol didn't deter him. She didn't hesitate to give him a warning shot, the bullet ricocheting just inches away from his feet. It caused him to do a funny little jump. She smiled at the look of alarm in his eyes.

 _Finally_ , she thought, satisfied. _He gets it._

* * *

'Scarlet Guns all trigger happy as usual! White D may have possibly wet himself. I _repeat_ , White D may have possibly wet himself. Bring a fresh pair of pants!'

'Hear you loud and clear, Good Looker. Things heating up on my end. Flame Boy has left his mark. Gonna be needing some _buuuurn_ cream. You hearin' this, Furious Dawg?'

'Yeah, I hear you. I've asked Falman to bring in some soldiers to escort these two back to Central Command for questioning … And some medics, I guess.'

'Good thinking, Furious Dawg. After you're done, get down there and do some crowd control. We got a gaggle of civilians here. Back entrance.'

'And here too, front entrance. Scarlet Guns has him whining like a baby!'

* * *

Riza was relived to finally kick her heels off. It had been a long night and her feet were aching. It had been a successful operation. Not only were they able to get their hands on the sample goods in the briefcase, they had a recording of the entire conversation in the bar – this has included their clear agreement of supply and demand. Both had been captured and detained. The Colonel had ended up using his flame alchemy only as a warning shot much like herself. Thankfully, neither Breda or Havoc had to intervene but it was good to know they had been there.

After Decker had been taken away and the general hubbub had died down in the street, Roy had driven her home. Thankfully, he had parked close by in a secluded street so she hadn't needed to walk far. He had been strangely silent in the car, lost in thought. She had watched his brooding expression each time his face was lit up by a passing street lamp. He had seemed so serious. She had wanted to take his hand and smile at him but couldn't bring herself to do so – worried that along with her smile, all her secret desires would slip out too.

When they had arrived outside her building, it was well past two in the morning. Wordlessly, he had followed her to the entrance and up the stairs. He had stood very close behind her as she had unlocked her door. Close enough so that she could feel his warm breath tickling the back of her neck and the heat from his body. His proximity made her heart thump. She found herself wanting him to stay the night with her.

Upon entering the apartment, she flicked on the light in the living room before unceremoniously kicking off her heels. This was followed by a soft thump as she dropped her purse on to the coffee table. Releasing a sigh as her feet sank into the plush rug underfoot, she turned around to find Roy watching her. He mover closer, silent as a ghost. His contemplative gaze slowly drifted over her, from her face, down to her décolletage – lingering for a moment on her breasts and then moving further, all the way down to her bare feet – before drifting back up again to settle on her neck.

'I'm sorry.' His fingers caressed a spot on her collarbone. She blinked up at him, confused for a moment before she understood. Her skin tingled beneath his apologetic touch. Glancing into the mirror on the wall behind him, she could see the love bite; a furious red against her pale skin.

It didn't matter. It would be well hidden beneath the high collar of her uniform any way. She could only hope the others hadn't seen it. But then again, there was a slim chance of that. It had been dark in the bar and darker still, out in the night.

'It's okay.' She assured him, reaching out to take his other hand and squeezing it gently.

His lips twitched in amusement as he smoothly lifted her right leg, hooking it around his waist and pressing himself up against her. She gasped at the sudden contact, silently marvelling at how firm and solid his chest felt against her breasts. He gazed solemnly at her, before whispering, 'Is that a concealed weapon I feel, Lieutenant, or are you just happy to see me?'

'I believe that's _my_ line, Colonel.' She smiled, rolling her hips against his only to be met with what she had suspected all along. He was hard. The feel of his erection against her made all her insecurities creep back. It was just the two of them now. They had left the fantasy behind at the bar. There was no more pretend. No more Elizabeth to hide behind. The intensity of his dark gaze took her breath away.

Roy slipped his hand between the slit of her dress, his eyes never leaving hers. His fingers skittered up along her thigh in an agonizingly slow manner, until they came to the holster. Deftly unstrapping it, he removed it, before gently lowering her leg back down. Carefully placing the holstered pistol on to the coffee table, he moved toward her once more and claimed her lips.

She was surprised at his gentleness. From the ardent look in this eyes, she had been expecting a hard, demanding kiss. She found herself suddenly rubbing up against him, wanting more and he immediately pulled back, breathing hard – moving abruptly away from her.

'Won't you stay?' The words were out before she could stop herself.

'I only came in to say goodnight.' His reply was soft and measured, a stark contrast to the voracious expression gracing his features. He so evidently wanted more. A lot more. More than she could give at that moment – and they both knew it. This time, helping him find release with just her hands or mouth wouldn't be enough. Not nearly enough. This time he would want everything.

'I'll let you take me.' She said, impulsively. She felt shameless for the desperate plea in her voice. Terrified at the sudden surge of emotion that coursed through her, heating up her insides and causing a flush to spread up from her breasts and to her neck, before finally colouring her cheeks. She reached out to him but he remained where he was.

'Not tonight.'

Without thinking, she launched herself into his arms. She heard him make a sound of surprise before she crushed her lips to his, her tongue wasting no time in slipping inside his mouth. She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, pressing herself against him once more.

It only took a matter of seconds for him to react. And now he was kissing _her_ – his tongue dominating hers easily, so that they were battling in her mouth rather than his. This time he kissed her harder, with bruising force. She felt his hands move down to cup her bottom, squeezing firmly and pressing her tightly against him, hard enough so that she could feel his erection. Her heart was hammering in her chest. She whimpered into his mouth, wanting to pull away from the hardness digging into her stomach and yet, wanting to feel more. So much more …

Finally breaking the kiss, Roy pulled back, but only just enough to speak – his lips brushing hers with every word.

'I would like nothing more than to _fuck_ you, Riza. And I _will._ ' The words were growled out, his gaze resolute in his promise, frustration finally overcoming lust. 'But not like this and certainly, not tonight.'

She felt her shoulder slump as he moved away once more. She stared at the floor, conflicted. Why did things have to be so difficult? They both wanted each other. She was offering herself to him and still, they couldn't have what they wanted. She knew he was protecting her from herself as well as from his own desires. Roy was perceptive enough to realise that although she was asking for it now in the heat of the moment, that may not be what she truly wanted, come morning.

He was ignoring his own needs for her sake. He was trying to help her, protect her and she was just making things worse for him.

Somehow she had known he wouldn't stay. Not when he was trying so hard to control himself around her. She knew she had got under his skin tonight in a way she never had before. A part of it was due to her own wanton desire. Then Elizabeth had goaded her into going further, excited by that element of danger during the operation, the thrill of the chase.

She wanted nothing more than to drag him to her bed and let him have his way with her. If he had just moved his hand higher instead of simply unstrapping her holster from her leg – if his fingers had just brushed her underwear, he would have felt her own need soaking through the thin fabric. Would that have encouraged him to go further? Would he have thrown caution to the wind and simply taken her right where they stood? Her legs shook at the thought. She bit her lip hard to keep herself from uttering another word.

She wanted him to touch her there but she was too afraid to ask. It would be torture for him to touch her and not _have_ her. It would be torture for her if his touch down _there_ , took her screaming back to the time when the General had so cruelly violated her with his own fingers. Would she even be able to tell the sensations apart anymore? As much as she wanted him to, she couldn't allow him to do this, not yet … Not when she still hadn't put what had happened behind her. She had tried to ignore it. She hadn't dealt with it. It sat in the back of her mind, a monster crouching in the darkness.

And so, she took a deep breath and smiled sadly at him.

Roy detected the shift in her mood, causing his own to soften – the fire and frustration in his gaze, disappearing like a puff of smoke. He rushed forward to press his lips against her forehead in a chaste kiss. He held back the rest of his body from touching hers, only using his hands – one to gently cup her face and the other to stroke her hair.

'I'm sorry.' Riza leaned into his touch, turning her head so that she could kiss his palm. His touch was so gentle, so innocent. How could she ever have thought she would get it confused with _his?_

'You have nothing to be sorry about.' Roy finally smiled at her. 'Our time will come.'

She wanted to weep at his pained expression. But that would only make him feel worse so she did the kindest thing she could. She gave him a gentle push towards the door. She wasn't going to cling to him when he was trying to keep himself from drowning in her.

'Good night.' She whispered.

Roy quietly returned her sentiments, giving her one last lingering look before stepping out of her apartment. Once the door shut behind him, she found herself rushing forward and leaning on it, trying to bite back his name from escaping her lips. She placed her palms flat on the door's smooth surface as she rested her forehead against the wood. Releasing a shaky breath, she willed her body to stop trembling and calm down.

She had just enough time to consider taking a long, hot soak in the tub and maybe having a cup of tea to sooth her frazzled nerves before she was rudely interrupted.

'Finally.'

She froze – her heart leaping to her throat. That voice. It hadn't come from outside, from beyond her front door. It had come from _behind_ her. In some way, she knew what would be waiting for her. She _knew –_ but she didn't want to believe it. She wanted so desperately to believe that her mind was playing a cruel trick on her once again, now that she was alone and vulnerable. He couldn't _be_ here.

Slowly turning around, she was met by his Cheshire cat like smile. He was leaning in the doorway of her dark bedroom, as though he had been conjured by the shadows. He still wore his uniform but somehow it didn't look right on him. He wasn't a soldier; he was a predator, a monster. This was evident in the way he watched her as he crept closer. The malicious intent within those gleaming grey eyes, obvious.

Any hope of this being a nightmare was cast aside as his familiar scent pervaded her, invoking both her memories of him as well as her fears – and that desperate, _desperate_ need to flee. Riza watched in silent horror as he smiled crookedly at her, exposing his teeth.

'I didn't think he would _ever_ leave.'


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:** Thank you for all the lovely reviews. It does help to know that you are enjoying it and that I am on the right track. I respect whatever opinion you guys have - whether it's positive or negative. However, I am quite confused about the anon who has now twice left the same comment of 'lame and cliché' - you're entitled to your opinion. And I have no qualms with that. But it would be helpful if you could explain why it's lame and cliché, like you say. I would be very much interested to hear your thoughts.

Need to point out the M rating once more.

Coming Undone

Riza's first instinct was to scream. Scream in the hope that the Colonel would somehow hear her and come running back to her aid. He couldn't have made it very far – the General had waited just mere minutes after the door had closed. However, before she could even open her mouth, Kaiser was upon her, having moved with startling speed.

His hand clamped down hard over her mouth as he shoved her back towards the door. Riza struggled against him despite knowing that her attempts were futile. She tried to bite down on his hand, but she found she could barely move her lips under his palm due to the pressure he was applying upon her mouth.

She couldn't help but think back to how her lips had felt under Roy's hand. He had tenderly cupped her cheek and she had moved her head so she could kiss his palm. She hated that the General had unintentionally mimicked the same action in trying to silence her – her lips under his palm but in the most grotesque way possible.

Kaiser remained silent, watching her. In time, she felt her body grow still, exhaustion creeping in. It was no use when he had her trapped in such a way. It would do no good to fight like this. She had to be smart. Conserve her energy and wait for an opening. She allowed her body to relax slightly, hoping it would cause him to lessen his grip on her … but he didn't. He remained steadfast, his cool grey eyes boring into her.

Together they listened to the engine of a car splutter into life. Riza blinked back tears, knowing the chances of the Colonel coming to her rescue were rapidly slipping away. She bit her lip to keep from weeping as she listened to him drive away. The General waited until the sound of the car had completely faded away before he removed his hand from her mouth.

She gasped for air – only for a moment though, before something soft was shoved into her mouth as a gag. Her eyes widened in shock before she caught sight of the familiar item – a pair of lacy red panties.

She felt a surge of anger – not only had he broken into her apartment, he had also rifled through her belongings! She knew he would have had to dig deep to have found _these_ panties in particular. They had been purchased during a shopping trip a couple of years back. Rebecca had practically forced her to buy them and had refused to budge from the lingerie section until Riza had bought something 'fun and sexy' for herself.

'You need to make sure you have something suitable for hot dates.' She had advised. 'Men don't want to see off coloured granny panties!'

In Riza's mind, the little, red lacy number was more trashy than sexy. All the same, she had purchased it to keep Rebecca happy. However, she had no intention to wear them whatsoever. Upon returning to her apartment, she had shoved them deep inside her underwear drawer without a second thought.

If he had found something she had kept hidden, it made her shudder to think what else he had found. Just how long had he been waiting for her, anyway? The thought of him breaking in had always been a concern however, she had never considered the fact that he would do this while she was out. Lying in wait for her in the darkness. All those times she had entered her apartment, she had never considered doing a sweep to ensure it was empty and safe before locking the door behind her.

'I've been wanting a repeat of our first night together for _weeks_ now.' His free hand snaked down between his body and hers, squeezing her breast tightly enough to make her wince. 'I've been _dreaming_ about it. So much that it physically _hurts_.'

Despite the crooning of his words, she could detect his dangerous tone just beneath. He was _angry_. Pushing his leg in between hers, he raised it slowly until he was applying gentle pressure against her most intimate area. She whimpered against the gag.

'I want you to feel my pain, Riza.' He sounded as though he was pleading with her now. 'Will you do that for me?'

She didn't reply. How could she respond to something like that? How could anyone? There was no right answer. She concentrated on breathing deeply, trying to remain calm. Her eyes were locked on his in some desperate attempt to find something she could connect to – a smidgen of mercy or kindness. But there was nothing. His eyes were chilling, frozen over with anger and lust and cruelty.

He gave her no warning before it happened. He drove his knee deep into her soft folds – his kneecap violently striking her sensitive clit and causing a shooting pain to travel right through to her core. She screamed through her gag, the sound coming out muffled and pitiful – a pained mewl. This time the tears fell freely.

'Sshhhh'. Kaiser soothed, his tongue hungrily devouring her tears. His hand replaced his knee as he stroked her through her dress. Riza's eyes were clenched shut with pain but she could feel him petting her – strangely, nothing sexual about the gesture despite its location. She pressed her thighs together to try and alleviate the sharp stinging between her legs. It was disturbing how swiftly his moods changed. He couldn't possibly be sane. No sane man would do this.

Despite her resolve to stay calm, she could feel herself start to panic once more. She tried to spit out the make-shift gag but it had been wedged in tightly inside her mouth. Any attempt to spit it out was making her choke on it. She finally gave up, eyeing him warily.

'Good girl.' Kaiser seemed pleased at her new placidity, taking a few long moments to look her up and down – his eyes, blatantly displaying his lewd intent. It made her feel dirty and she tried not to squirm under his gaze. Once again, she was struck by how he was mimicking the Colonel's actions. He too, had looked her up and down, with a warm lustful intent in those dark eyes.

It had made her tingle inside. She had felt wanted and perhaps, a little overwhelmed. The look Kaiser was giving her made her feel uncomfortable and ill. She felt as though there were tiny insects crawling over her skin. It made her want to hide away from him and his dangerous hands. It terrified her.

'Aren't you tempting, all dressed up for me tonight.' He purred at her, his hand running over her stomach, taking obvious pleasure in the feel of the satin under his skin. 'I won't strip you naked just yet.'

His words sickened her. As though she would ever dress up for him. The excitement she had felt earlier that evening at the thought of the Colonel seeing her all dressed up now lay heavily at the pit of her stomach – a dead weight.

Although he had already seen her most intimate area, she couldn't let him see her back. The possibility of him stripping her down made her want to sob. The alchemic array upon her back along with the burn scars was another intimate part of her body – one that she had resolved to keep secret. Aside from her Father and Roy, she hadn't allowed anyone else to see it.

It had been a blessing that the General hadn't bothered to strip her completely that first time. She had been on her back then, still wearing her shirt. He'd only unbuttoned it and yanked down her bra. Her tattoo and scars had been hidden. But now, an entire night stretched out before them. She knew he would draw out each moment, savouring her pain and discomfort.

'I think I might bend you over first. I've been wanting to do that since that day I had you bent over in the office …' She hated how pleasantly conversational his tone was. How that smug little smile never truly left his lips. If he hadn't been pinning her hands above her head, she would have already tried to slap that smile from his face by now. 'Of course, this time we won't be interrupted by your – '

He suddenly broke off, jabbing her hard on her collarbone and she flinched.

'What is this?' His voice had lost that playful tone.

She knew he was referring to the love bite – it was hard to miss. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she found herself feeling amused at the thought of something like that bothering him. Why would he care what she did in her private life?

She tried to speak through the gag. The noise that came out, sounded suspiciously like a muffled 'fuck you.'

He ignored it, however. Finally freeing her hands, he yanked the panties out of her mouth roughly. It was fine for her to scream now, anyway. Mustang was long gone. Riza tried to catch her breath, opening and closing her mouth several times to loosen up her jaw. His finger touched the inflamed mark on her neck and she pulled away from him. The idea of him touching a part of her that Roy had so tenderly kissed bothered her.

'What does it look like?' She finally responded, irritably. Why was he questioning the obvious?

'It was _him_ , wasn't it.' There was no question about that statement. He was telling her what they both already knew.

'Why does it matter to you?' Her glare successfully hid a new fear – one that had overtaken her previous one of being violated once more. She momentarily forgot herself, thinking only of the Colonel. Kaiser had been hiding in her bedroom this entire time. It was more than likely he had heard every single word uttered between them.

She was afraid to think what he could do with this information. She had a feeling he wouldn't go public with it. Not yet, at least. But he could use it to hurt them privately, even blackmail them. When it came down to it, when it _really_ came down to it, Riza realised that she didn't care what happened to her. It was the Colonel that she wanted to keep safe. If she failed everything else, that was one promise she was going to keep. She would watch his back.

'Because it just _does_!' Kaiser suddenly roared at her. Despite herself, Riza shrank back against the door, shocked more than anything else at this sudden outburst. In all those terrible moments when they had been together, he had never once raised his voice. And again, she searched his gaze for something, anything resembling a human emotion.

Lurking in the grey, she could detect the shadows of jealousy and anger.

Anger aside, she was surprised not only at the other emotion but also at the intensity of it. Why did he care? It's not as though they were lovers …

His hands came to rest heavily on her shoulders and she didn't try to fight him off this time. She could see that he was trying his best to remain calm, to try and control his emotions from spilling over and affecting him. Something told her that he hadn't wanted her to see him ruffled.

The General was breathing hard, his glower lessening with each passing second. Without a word, he closed the distance between their lips. His tongue slipped in easily because once again, he'd caught her by surprise. Riza made a muffled noise, her outrage swallowed by his eager mouth. Bringing up her hands to rest against his chest, she gave him a firm push back – effectively breaking the kiss.

Riza had a moment to catch her breath before she was dealt a sharp slap. Her skin smarting, she gritted her teeth. She would not give him the satisfaction of crying out. She gazed past his shoulder instead, eyeing her holstered pistol on the coffee table. If she could get to it, she wouldn't hesitate to shoot him this time.

That darkly fanciful thought only lasted for a few moments, cut short by Kaiser's hands groping her. She found his forearm resting horizontally against her chest, keeping her pinned to the door, while his other hand crept in between the slit of her dress, his fingers probing on the damp material at her entrance.

Riza struggled against him, trying to move her hips away from his hand while she clawed at the arm that was holding her back. Unfortunately, the thick material of his military jacket served as protection, so instead of her nails sinking into his skin, they scratched uselessly against the fabric. In frustration, she stamped down hard on his foot – her bare heel colliding with his hard boot. She found herself flinching. _Useless._

All the strength and determination she had possessed during the operation, when faced with Decker had trickled away, leaving a familiar helplessness.

Kaiser barely noticed her attempts, his focus was to get _in._ His pressed his fingers against her harder, the thin material of her underwear sagging beneath the force. Whatever happened, she could _not_ let him inside her again. She couldn't bear the thought. He was close though, his fingers were now trying to push the front of her panties to the side so they could slip in. Mentally bracing herself, Riza leaned in and kissed him.

She felt his fingers become still, his surprise evident at the sudden change in her behaviour. She opened her mouth to try and coax him in and he took the bait, his tongue curling itself around hers. Riza tried to fight through her wave of nausea – trying not to think about the fact that she had initiated the kiss. Closing her eyes tight, she waited until he was comfortable.

A few moments later, she felt his hand move away from in between her legs, coming to rest on her waist instead. The arm against her chest, fell away – his hand, joining the other at her waist. A bitter part of her couldn't help but internally sneer at his beguilement. Just mere moments ago, she was fighting to get away from him. How could he possibly think she suddenly wanted this?

When his tongue was stretched out lazily in her mouth, she clamped her lips around it and bit down – _hard._ The feel of her teeth sinking into his soft organ was absolutely revolting. It didn't take long for him to shriek with pain as he pulled away from her, doubling up as his hands scrambled to his mouth.

Barely wasting a moment, Riza shot forward, side stepping the General – her hands reaching for her pistol laying on the coffee table behind him. Fumbling with the holster, she drew it out. Clicking off the safety catch, she whirled around, ready to aim and fire.

Before her finger could squeeze the trigger, the heel of Kaiser's hand shot out, hitting the butt of the gun from beneath, knocking it up and out of her hands. Aghast, she watched it as it sailed up into the air before falling on to the floor just metres away from the General. He kicked at it carelessly and it went skittering across the floorboards and underneath the chest of drawers on the other side of the room.

Just as quickly as that plan had sprung into action, it had come to a halt.

Now, her weapon was completely out of reach. Taking a step back, she watched in silent horror as Kaiser creeped towards her. Any semblance of normalcy – of what was normal for him – had been torn down by her daring attempt. He was practically snarling as he moved towards her.

Riza turned on her heel to run – her last attempt was to barricade herself inside her bedroom, or failing that, her bathroom (which at least, had a lock on the door) – but she was too slow. Kaiser lunged at her, dragging her towards her bedroom. She tried to dig her heels in but he was much too strong, his rage seemingly giving him a superhuman strength.

Roughly thrown down on her bed, Riza hardly had time to react, to squirm away before he settled himself on top of her. His lower body pinned hers to the bed, while he captured her wrists with one hand, holding them down above her head once more. He loomed over her, his glare giving her the chills. What she had just done had been the equivalent of poking a sleeping tiger – one that was now very much awake and looking to reciprocate.

She could see the trickle of blood, running down the side of his mouth. His tongue darted out to lick it away. He was panting but it seemed to be more from the sheer thrill of having her under him, all helpless than from the struggle in the other room.

'So, you like to bite, do you?' Despite his appearance, the rage simmering just beneath the surface, his voice was quiet, possessing a strange, sing-song like quality. 'Well, my _dear_. The feeling's mutual.'

With that said, he lowered his head to her collarbone, choosing the exact spot the Colonel had picked. Kaiser's mouth closed over the love bite, his teeth sinking into her delicate skin until she was crying out and writhing beneath him. It wasn't just the pain, it was the fact that he had chosen that _exact_ spot – sullying it with his own dirty touch. She could barely stand him touching it, much less salivating all over it.

After what seemed like ages, he pulled back to admire his handiwork. She could feel a warm wetness there. Kaiser bent his head to kiss at the spot and when he pulled back, his lips were red. He had drawn blood. The sharp sting at the start of his onslaught had dulled to a throb.

'Just remember,' he purred, beginning to slowly rub his body against her own. 'I'll treat you the way you _deserve_ to me treated – whether that means showering you with kisses or slapping you around like a whore. Be good to me and I'll be good to you.'

Riza cringed as he bent down once more, this time to lick the side of her neck. His hot breath made her skin crawl. She tried to shift away from him but he was holding her down tightly. He didn't allow her an inch of movement. Kaiser pressed himself harder against her, causing her to cry out in alarm when she felt his erection digging into her.

Despite knowing the futility of her actions, she couldn't help but struggle again. Her wrists hurting as the pressure around them increased. Her breaths were coming out in short spurts, her heart hammering away so hard she feared it would suddenly give out. The General's heavy presence had successfully washed away the tender memories she had of Roy holding her in bed. Once again, it would become a source of nightmares and pain for her.

Once again, she would be left broken in the morning, ripping away the sheets from the bed in shame and disgust.

She _couldn't_ go through this again and yet, here she was – destined to meet the same fate. She hated the thought that she could be so powerless especially when she had promised to help the Colonel change this country for the better. How could she do that, how could she help him and help others when she couldn't even help herself?

'Right now, you can give me what I want. Because I know you want it too.' His hand was gentle against her cheek, contrasting sharply with his leer. He licked his lips, his hand crawling towards the side of her leg, his fingers closing around the fabric near the slit. Grabbing it, he tore at it roughly causing Riza to gasp as she was exposed to him.

Kaiser chuckled softly, tracing his finger over her lips through the thin fabric of her panties.

'No!' She clamped down her thighs tightly, trying to protect herself but all she succeeded in doing was trapping his hand, pressing it deeper against her most sensitive part.

'You deny me?' His face darkened, his voice taking on a low, guttural tone. 'Just a little while ago, you were begging your precious Colonel to fuck you.'

Riza felt her cheeks flame at his words. That desperate plea had been for Roy's ears only, she never intended it to be heard by anyone else, much less _him._

'But he didn't, did he?' He was taunting her now. 'He left you all alone. He doesn't care. He's probably at some bar now, picking up some other woman to fuck instead. Face it, he doesn't want _damaged_ goods.'

His words hurt more than his physical intent.

'Stop it.' She tried to turn her head away from him but he held her in place, staring down at her, his faces inches from her own. His breath washed over her cheeks with every word – a constant reminder that she was very close to the jaws of a grinning crocodile.

'But that's all right because you have me.' His hand curled up around the side of her breast, fingers closing in around the material. There was another sharp rip, causing her lacy bra to peek through the gaping hole. 'I'll fuck you good and proper.'

His hand lingered over her bra, his fingers working themselves under it to stroke her bare breast beneath. Riza made a noise of disgust, kicking against his legs but once again, her bare feet didn't seem to hurt him at all, much less bother him in the slightest. How she wished she had never taken of her heels. Those would have done some damage.

'Think I'll go with my earlier plan and fuck you from behind. You can scream into the pillow all you want.' Suddenly, she felt the pressure of his body lessen. He was moving away from her, just far enough so he could manoeuvre her around in the bed. This allowed her a little bit of movement herself. This was her chance, her only chance now. Because as soon as he had turned her over and locked her down, there would be no escape.

Riza breathed deeply, before she brought up her knee with all her might, hitting the General right in the groin. He yelped, folding in on himself. Taking advantage of his distraction, she gave him a violent push and he went toppling over the side of the bed, landing in a heap on the floor.

Riza leapt off the bed. However, as soon as her feet landed on the floor, she felt a hand close in around her ankle. She glanced back to see him glowering at her. He was slowly trying to move into a sitting position. Soon he would be on his feet again. Riza tried to wrench herself out of his grip but despite the blow to his groin, he still had more strength. Kaiser yanked at her ankle and she felt herself fall, landing painfully on the floor, face first.

The fall had knocked the wind out of her and for several moments, she lay there, breathing heavily. She could feel Kaiser crawl closer, inch by inch until his body began to cover hers once more. Riza flailed her arms around, trying to reach for something, anything.

'You bitch.' The General wheezed. 'You _fucking_ bitch.'

Riza was half crying, half panting – on the verge of hysteria, her panic almost suffocating her. Her movements became more frenzied, frantic fingers trying in vain to close in on something until finally –

Some sort of a wire. She yanked at it and heard something fall with a clatter. Pulling the wire and dragging it closer, her hand closed in on the object and she realised it was her phone. Ensuring she had a good grip, she brought it up fast, striking Kaiser right on his head, knocking him sideways – but only just.

It didn't seem to do as much damage as the knee to his groin but it allowed her enough time to wriggle out from under him. She had made it to the living room when she sensed movement behind her. Riza glanced at her evening bag on the coffee table. Her second pistol was still in there. However, it had been the one she had used. She had fired several warning shots at Decker. There were only two more bullets remaining.

She didn't doubt her aim, however, there wasn't time to pull the gun out and try and aim. It would be disastrous, especially if the General closed the gap between them as he had before and knocked the gun out of her hands. Better to leave now than stay and fight. However, she would take the gun with her, just in case.

Her fingers were millimetres away from the strap of her bag when she heard a noise behind her. Glancing back, she saw Kaiser lumbering towards her, an expression of fury giving him a demonic look. Terrified, Riza hurtled to the front door instead, flinging it open and thundering down the stairs and out into the night.

* * *

In the darkness, Roy Mustang groaned. Swearing softly under his breath, he pulled himself up to a sitting position in bed, resting against the pillows. He didn't need to turn on the light. He hadn't bothered closing his drapes. The light from Central's city streets, filtered through the window and his sharp gaze picked out the shapes in the gloom with relative ease.

It was late – he didn't need to look at the bedside clock to know that. He had been tossing and turning over in bed since he'd crawled in an hour or so earlier. The cold shower had helped his body but not his mind. His thoughts of Riza had chased away any chance of sleep until he was left staring up at the ceiling.

He should have stayed with her.

However, that would have been a mistake. She really had riled him up that evening and his desire had steered his body in the opposite direction his mind wanted him to take. If he had stayed, he would have lost the fight in regaining control. And with the way Riza was feeling, she would have let him do as he pleased.

And he couldn't bring himself to act on those desires – as genuine as they were.

It had taken all his self-restraint to keep his hands to himself when he had slept in the same bed as her during those three nights. Tonight, it had just about run out. When she had launched herself into his arms, even after he had declined her invitation – had brought him worryingly close to losing himself completely.

He had relished the feel of her quivering beneath his touch as he had kissed her furiously, pressing her against him. He had felt himself grow harder still, when his erection had rubbed against the softness of her body. He had been so close to pushing her up against the wall and taking her, right there – just to take the edge off, before taking her to bed properly.

Her whimper – possibly at the sudden roughness – had brought him back to his senses. His frustration and lust snowballing into something he wasn't quite sure how to handle. This was new. He had never had to hold himself back from a woman that had wanted him. But this time, it wasn't just _any_ woman _._ It was his Riza. And she was so evidentially confused and hurting.

He couldn't bring himself to stay with her. To comfort her and hold her through the night, the way she so rightly deserved. He hadn't had any other choice but to leave. He hated himself for being so weak.

Roy hoped she was faring better than him – that she was already curled up and asleep in bed. After everything she had been through, she deserved some peace. He on the other hand, deserved nothing for his traitorous body and thoughts.

Sighing, he slipped out of bed, padding to the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of scotch and a clean glass. After pouring a generous measure into his glass, he settled back into bed. Chuckling darkly to himself, he took a deep swallow. Seemed like yet another night, where he would have to drink himself to sleep.

* * *

Riza wasn't sure how far she ran or the direction she went it. All she knew was that she had to get away. It didn't matter where she went – what mattered was that she was far away from _him._ The night air was absolutely freezing but she didn't feel the cold. Her heart was in a frenzy, pumping blood around her body, keeping her warm. Her gait was light and swift – her bare feet barely touching the icy pavement as she ran through the dark empty streets.

It was only when she finally came to a stop, crouching in a store doorway, that she became aware of the cold. Slowly, it began to seep into her bones, making her teeth chatter. She scrunched up her toes – the frosty concrete, hurting her feet. The pain in other parts of her body soon became apparent too. Her face, neck and wrists hurt and the dull throb between her legs still hadn't gone from when the General had viciously struck her.

She could feel a headache coming on, the stress from the last few days finally catching up with her. But she ignored it for the time being, along with her other discomforts. She would deal with it all later. The first step was to find shelter. She couldn't very well stay out here for the rest of the night. Not in her current state of attire, at least – she would freeze.

But where could she go and more importantly, whom could she turn to? Surely whomever it was, wouldn't allow her to waltz in and spend the night without asking questions. And she didn't trust herself to explain anything tonight. She was too upset. She had to be clear headed when she finally gave information. She couldn't risk blurting something out tonight in her state.

Aside from her team, she didn't have any friends in Central. Her work kept her busy enough. Rebecca was in East City. There weren't many people she could turn to. Usually, her first call would have been the Colonel – but after everything that had happened, after what he had witnessed in the office that day, along with her confession, there was no way she could turn up on his doorstep, at this hour, looking the way she did. He would demand to know what had happened. This time he wouldn't be kind enough to _not_ push her into revealing the secret. And she wasn't ready for that.

But it was becoming later and growing colder by the minute and she was running out of options.

* * *

There was a pounding on his door. He murmured sleepily, cracking an eye open to glance at the clock. It was way past four in the morning. Who was at the door at such an ungodly hour? Forcing himself up and out of bed, he made his way towards the front door – pausing to pick up his gun from the table in the hallway, he tucked it into the waistband of his sweat pants. Hidden but within easy reach. One could never be too careful in his line of work.

He checked the peephole first, his annoyance giving way to surprise and concern. He could see a familiar mop of blonde hair and earnest brown eyes, a pretty face. But the view from the peephole was distorted and he couldn't make out her expression.

Wrenching the door open, whatever smart greeting he had died on his lips, along with her title. His eyes widened as he silently took in her dishevelled appearance. Her elaborate up-do had become loose, hair flowing wildly. Her beautiful red dress was torn – displaying her lacy bra on one side and her right thigh, which was disturbingly adorned with ugly bruising. Her eyes were red, her lips swollen and trembling. Her feet were bare and filthy – wait, had she run through the streets in no shoes?

'Riza – what the fuck _happened_?'

She collapsed into his arms before the words had barely left his lips.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note:** Sorry about the delay in posting. Tech' issues wore me down this past week. Luckily I now have a shiny new, fully functioning laptop. I shall be writing away!

Coming Undone

As she fell into his arms, Riza could smell that familiar scent of tobacco. It enveloped her and she welcomed it gratefully. It kept her anchored to her new reality. She was away from the General once more and she was safe. Allowing herself to be half carried, half dragged to the couch, she sank into the worn cushions heavily, her body feeling limp.

Now that the adrenaline had finally left her, she felt incredibly fatigued. The struggles of the last hour seemed as though they had happened to someone else – just another way for her mind to try and shield her from the trauma she had suffered. For a few moments, she accepted this without question.

It was the pain – her bruised wrists, the bite on her collarbone and the faint ache between her legs – that reminded her that no, it wasn't something she could brush aside as having read in some novel somewhere, it had truly happened and to _her._ That she was the unfortunate character in the horror story that had suddenly become her life.

And now she had dragged someone else into it as well.

Riza could feel him fussing around her, muttering softly. A warm weight soon settled upon her shoulders – he had draped a fuzzy blanket around her and she found herself clutching at it, only just realising that she had been shivering violently. She tried to speak – to apologise for the late intrusion but her mouth was dry. Swallowing hard, she licked her lips before trying again.

'… I'm sorry.'

'Don't be.'

Something hard was pushed into her hand – a glass. It was filled with an amber liquid that smelled cloyingly sweet. Riza took a gulp and spluttered, her mouth suddenly scorching. She felt his hand gently pat her back until she regained her composure. It was brandy. She must have been in bad shape if he was offering her that.

'Sorry.' He grinned, looking sheepish. 'Should have warned you.'

'Don't be.' Riza used his earlier words. 'I needed that.'

This time she took a cautious sip and sure enough, the brandy slid down her throat like warm honey, spreading its heat throughout her body. She sighed softly. Now if she could just curl up and go to sleep and wake up seven hours later to a wold where a certain someone didn't exist, things would be just fine.

But the reality was, there was a psychotic General that had taken a fancy to her and was willing to go to any lengths to claim her. Her feelings for her commanding officer had been discovered and could very well be used against her or the Colonel himself. She had been driven out of her own apartment and would likely never feel safe there again. She was bruised, currently wearing a torn dress and no shoes. She was sitting on the couch of Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc in the early hours of the morning after having nearly battered his door down. And in less than four hours, she had to turn up at work and pretend that she wasn't on the verge of falling apart.

'… Riza.'

She didn't blame him for forgoing the title. She had never looked or felt so far from a Lieutenant than she did at that moment. She must have looked pathetic, hunched over on his couch like that. But she couldn't detect anything in his voice other than concern and perhaps, a little uncertainty. She knew he had no idea how to handle her in this state.

'What happened to you?' Havoc sat down gingerly on the coffee table opposite her, close enough so that their knees were nearly touching. 'I thought the Colonel drove you home?'

'He did.'

Riza hadn't decided what she wanted to reveal. That familiar wave of shame was already lapping away at her. But now, it wasn't just about that anymore. It was about protecting those around her. The Colonel and now Havoc. She couldn't let either of them confront Kaiser – not now that he had information he could use as ammunition against them.

'It was after that.' Riza took a deep breath, trying to work out a way to tell him what had happened without revealing the whole ugly truth. 'There was an intruder in my apartment already. I had no idea. He only made his presence known after the Colonel left. There was a struggle. I escaped and came here.'

'You make it sound like it was nothing.' Havoc ran a hand through his hair, evidently perplexed. She could see he had questions for her. She also knew he was afraid to ask because putting those assumptions into words would make it all too real – too terrible to think about. She knew what she looked like. The bruises, her swollen lips and her torn dress painted the picture tragically well …

'Who did this?' This time is voice was firmer, she could see the anger in his eyes. 'And don't tell me it was a random break in – that he heard you come in and panicked and hid until you were alone. It sounds too calculated for that.'

'It wasn't a stranger,' Riza admitted, closing her eyes and sighing. When had things become so complicated? Why was every conversation a struggle?

'On the contrary, we happen to be very well _acquainted_.' She said dryly, thinking back to that first night with the General. How he had forced his way into her life, how he had managed to turn her inside out in a matter of hours. Despite all the battles she'd fought, never had an enemy been successful in doing that, in tearing her down so effectively.

While true, she'd been brought to the brink of devastation in the past – especially where it concerned the life of the Colonel and those she cared about, but this was different. She felt as though she was _infected_ – as though something dirty and dark and crept inside of her along with the General on that first night. She still couldn't shake it free. And though her discomfort and shame eased at times, that feeling was never far from her.

'You need to give me a _name_ , Riza.'

She could tell that the idea of her being acquainted with the assailant disturbed him to no end. Riza didn't want to lay this burden on him – it was hers to bear alone. However, it had been exhausting keeping this locked tightly within herself all this time. Maybe talking about this, getting a second opinion, or even having someone listen would help and allow her to move on. With the exception of the Colonel, there was no one else she would rather confide in. She had known Jean Havoc for years and in her dangerous, unpredictable world, he had remained strong and consistent.

'Promise you won't overreact?' After all, she couldn't afford to let him go tearing to the source. It was too dangerous

'Cross my heart and all that …' He performed the gesture lazily, an easy smile on his face although his eyes betrayed him. She could sense his trepidation.

Riza took a deep breath, pulling the blanket tightly around her shoulders. Licking her dry lips, she uttered the name she could barely bring herself to say out aloud these days. Just the sound of it – the way the words rolled off her tongue was enough to turn her stomach.

At first, she wasn't sure whether she _had_ said it out aloud. The look on Havoc's face didn't change for a few long moments. He continued staring at her – but ever so slowly, she could she his expression twist under the new information – a series of emotions slowly taking their turn. First shock, then incredulity, followed by a flash of sudden understanding as he thought back to the past month – her strange behaviour, her unwillingness to leave the office, the General's sudden transfer request – and then finally, anger.

The type of anger she had never seen Havoc display in all the years she had known him.

' _General_ Trent Kaiser?!' He spat, standing up so suddenly that his movement upset the coffee table he'd been sitting on. It toppled over with a crash, making Riza flinch. There had been a time when it would have taken much more for her to show weakness of discomfort but sadly she wasn't that person any more. Now she found herself jumping at shadows.

'That bastard. I'm going to _kill_ him!' He was already making his way to the door.

Riza was on her feet a moment later, her blanket falling to the floor in her haste to calm him down. She intercepted Havoc before he reached the door, firmly placing herself between it and him, her hands flat on his chest to stop him from taking another step.

'Wait! You promised you wouldn't do this!' She tried to glare at him but somehow it didn't work. Nor did her voice convey its usual authority. What did deter him was the break in her voice when she said her next words. 'I didn't know who else to turn to. I was _counting_ on you.'

'Fuck.' His voice was softer this time. His sight wasn't set on the door any more. His thoughts of revenge falling away as he focused on her once more. Riza could see him struggling with his emotions. He was distraught and angry; his hands stilled balled into fists. But at least he wasn't trying to storm out any more. She couldn't let him make a foolish mistake and certainly not on her account.

'… Just look at you.' Havoc's gaze swept down her, his distress evident in both his tone and expression. Riza was painfully aware of her ripped dress and bruises. The bite mark on her collarbone felt as though it was burning under his scrutiny. 'How did this happen …? How did he even …? Did he actually manage– '

'Don't. I can't tonight but I will tell you.' She had to interrupt him right there, because she couldn't bring herself to listen to his last question. She couldn't discuss it now. She needed time to process everything, get everything straight before she revealed her sorry tale.

Taking a deep breath, Riza willed herself to be strong, to sound like her usual self – anything, that would make Havoc realise just how serious she was. 'But you need to give me your _word_ that you will not – under _any_ circumstances, engage the General regarding this, do you understand?'

She was afraid that this would be the first time he went against her wishes but after a few silent minutes, he gave her a crooked grin – and a salute. 'Yes, ma'am.'

'The Colonel _cannot_ know about this either.' Riza continued, before hastily adding, 'you know what he's like when it comes to this team. He's blinded by the need to protect. He will react in the same way you did but the results would be catastrophic. It's career _suicide_ , Havoc. And we all know what the Colonel's plans are. I will not be the reason for that dream to end. And nor do I want to see you ending your career over a rash decision.'

'I get that. But you can't let him get away with this.' Taking her arm, Havoc led her back to the sofa. He picked up the blanket and draped it around her shoulders once more.

'I know.' Riza replied softly, gratefully accepting the blanket. 'I'm still trying to work out that part.'

She watched as Havoc picked up and positioned the coffee table before retrieving a small first aid kit from his bathroom. She sat still, allowing him to gently dab away the blood on her lips and apply a healing balm on to her bruises. It felt good to let someone take over for once. She sank against the cushions on the couch and let him get to work.

When his attention fell on the ugly bite mark, she watched him grit his teeth, as he bathed it with a feather like touch, swearing softly under his breath the entire time. She closed her eyes to ensure no tears of humiliation escaped. Shame was a constant companion for her these days. 'You need a doctor?'

Riza shook her head.

'Do you want to shower – or do you just want to crash?' He nodded, indicating his bed.

'I think I'll take a shower first, if that's okay?' Riza soon found herself blinking down at her dress. 'I don't have anything to wear though. I left everything back at my place …'

The thought of going back to that place, only to find him lurking somewhere in the gloom made her want to scream.

'Don't worry about it.' Fortunately, Havoc responded before her mind could wander. 'I'll give you something to wear. Have a shower and get some sleep. I'll let the Colonel know you're not feeling well when I get to the office. You're not in any shape to be going in tomorrow!' He added, upon seeing the look on her face.

'I am not taking a day off for this, Havoc. The stake-out may have been a success but there's still plenty more that needs to be done. I owe it to the Colonel to be there. And besides,' she sighed, relenting a little. 'It's only two more days until the weekend. I just need to last until then.'

'Fine.' Havoc grunted, reaching for his pack of cigarettes and his keys. He knew it would be a waste of time to argue. 'At least get some sleep, okay? You'll only get a couple of hours at this rate,' he glanced at the clocked and grimaced. Walking over to his closest, he pulled out a clean shirt and a pair of sweat pants. They would dwarf her but it was better than nothing. 'Clean towels in the bathroom. Help yourself.'

Riza watched as he shrugged on his jacket before walking over to shove his feet into his sneakers.

'I'm going to go grab some stuff from your place.' He explained, noting the alarm on her faces. 'Relax, will ya? Not like I'm going to go kill him with my bare hands. Heard your warning loud and clear. Aside from the usual, is there anything in particular you need me to pick up?'

Once she had instructed Havoc to simply leave – _without_ any engagement whatsoever, should the apartment be anything other than empty, she had thanked him and he had left, an unlit cigarette already dangling in between his lips.

Riza allowed herself a few quiet moments to close her eyes and breathe deeply before picking up the clothes Havoc had left for her and walking into the tiny bathroom. It felt good to stand under the hot spray in the shower stall. Every scratch on her body stung as the water washed over it but she didn't mind. She scrubbed herself harder, making sure that she washed away his smell and touch. Finally, she emerged from the bathroom, pink faced and feeling a little like a child playing dress-up in Havoc's clothes.

The apartment was still empty.

Despite his offer to let her have the bed, Riza curled up on the couch instead, wrapping herself in the blanket. She planned to stay awake and wait for Havoc to return, thinking there was no way she would be able to sleep now, not after everything she had been through that night. However, after a few minutes of wondering how she would handle the day ahead, sleep engulfed her with its dark embrace – bringing with it, no dreams.

* * *

Fuck. Just _fuck_. Havoc was currently in Riza's apartment, surveying the damage. He'd entered cautiously enough, performed a thorough sweep of the place before locking the door behind him. Now he was standing in the middle of the bedroom, silently gazing around. The signs of a struggle were evident – the fallen telephone, the chair lying on its side, the bed sheets, the _blood_ on the carpet … Then there was the pistol – _Riza'_ s pistol, lying on the floor. How he wished she'd managed to shoot him.

The state of the bed was the hardest to look at. He didn't want to think of the extent of the assault but it was all there, in front of him. Lying to himself that _this_ hadn't happened, would be no help to him or Riza.

His first instinct had been to call the Colonel. Mustang always knew what to do, how to handle situations. And Havoc was sure that the Colonel would have been able to handle this a lot better than he was currently handling it. But Riza was right. He would absolutely flip his lid if he ever found out what had happened. He already detested the General after that transfer stunt he'd pulled. There was no telling what he would do if he found out that that had been just the tip of the ice berg. A part of him wanted the Colonel to set that fucker in flames. A bigger part knew – as Riza had said – that it would indeed be career suicide, not to mention, a trip straight to a cell.

There had to be another way to make Kaiser pay.

But that would come later. Riza was his first priority. He would insist that she stayed with him for a few days. At least until she got back on her feet. With that in mind, he grabbed a bag and carefully folded her military uniform and a few other clothes into it. Unlike the women he had dated in the past, Riza didn't seem to have many personal effects. Just a few books, a battered radio and an old chess set. Nothing that she needed right away. Her toiletries consisted of just the basics and fit easily into the bag.

He picked up the shoulder bag she always brought to the office. Feeling a little guilty, he peeked inside to ensure her wallet was in there. It was, great. Placing the shoulder bag with the other stuff, he hunted for the last few things – her keys and her weapons.

Havoc made sure to lock up tight once he left the apartment, although it felt a little redundant. The bastard had somehow managed to slip in and the damage had already been caused. Upon inspection, he could see no signs of forced entry. He really needed to think about that. If Riza was ever going to come back here and feel safe, he needed to do something about the security.

The sun was already rising when he exited Riza's building. It would take him another half an hour to reach his own apartment. The day ahead stretched out endlessly and Havoc found himself groaning at the thought. It's not a feeling he experienced all that much. He enjoyed his job but after everything that he'd discovered that night, he knew the next two days would be incredibly difficult for Riza. It would also be incredibly difficult for him but for entirely different reasons. If he ever saw that bastard General again, it would be too soon.

The weekend couldn't come fast enough.

* * *

After her third cup of tea, (and a few biscuits, courtesy of Breda) Riza was feeling a little more human. She had gone without sleep countless times in the past but it had never been like this. The emotional trauma of what had transpired, along with her physical injuries and finally, the lack of sleep had left her feeling exhausted. Thankfully, it was a busy day and nobody had time for idle chatter.

Her worries about where to spend the night had been brushed aside by Havoc, who had insisted that she stayed over for a few nights. At least until her living situation was made safer. She had been pleasantly surprised and even touched by his considerate gesture when she had unpacked the bag he'd had brought her. He had even managed to include a few bits of make-up. It was something she didn't bother with for the office but that morning, she had carefully applied some on to the bruise on her face, effectively concealing it. Her lips were still puffy but other than that, she didn't look too bad.

Not that anyone would notice. They were all busy with the aftermath of their stake-out. Decker and his customer were currently being separately questioned by a specialist team. Half a dozen soldiers accompanying Falman and Breda, had been dispatched to the warehouse to seize whatever goods they could. Fuery was in the Technology Lab extracting the microchip with the recorded conversation from Riza's compact mirror, making copies of it – one for their records, one for the senior Generals and finally, the last one to present in their case as evidence. Havoc was currently writing up one of the reports on the operation while Riza was studying and logging the assortment of hand guns that had been in the briefcase.

The Colonel had been in and out of meetings with the senior Generals all morning. She hadn't been able to speak to him much – just a quick greeting in the morning and an affirmative response to his order of logging the weapons. Although he had managed to flash her that warm smile before he'd left the office which had caused that same, fluttery feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was astounding how he could cause such a reaction with a simple smile, especially after the night she'd had.

It was much later when he finally caught up with her.

* * *

'Colonel …?'

'Shhhh,' he hushed between kisses. His lips had begun their trail from her temple, down to the side of her face and now they were claiming her own in a soft kiss. He had her pressed up against the wall of an empty meeting room. However, there was no urgency to his movements this time. His kisses remained chaste and his hands were gentle in caressing her. The heat and desperation of the night before had left them both.

It was almost as though he sensed she had had a rough night. Despite her disapproval at first, she was glad he had stolen her away from their busy schedules for a few minutes of peace. And from his tired expression and the way he had simply dropped his forehead to rest on her shoulder for a few long moments upon entering the room showed her that he too, had needed this time away.

Riza felt conflicted in his arms. On one hand, she couldn't bear to be touched. Not after what the General had done last night. And although she had scrubbed herself raw, she still couldn't help but feel dirty. She didn't want Roy touching her when she felt so disgusted with herself. She couldn't help but think that if he had known exactly what had been done to her, he too, would feel the same way about her. But on the other hand …

Oh, how she needed this. It felt as though all the damage she had been dealt was being healed by his touch. Her skin was tingling pleasantly, feeling warm under his hands as he chased away those memories.

'Did you get enough sleep last night?' Roy asked kindly, gazing into her eyes. His fingers touched her cheek and Riza tried hard not to flinch. He had unknowingly brushed against the bruise on her face – the one she had so painstakingly concealed with make-up. If he continued stroking her that way, the make-up would soon come away and the bruise would be exposed. She couldn't allow him to see that.

'No,' she admitted, smoothly taking his hand and giving it a quick kiss, before placing it around her waist instead. Fortunately, it stayed there. 'I haven't been sleeping so well. Nightmares.'

Riza knew he wouldn't ask whether she wanted to talk about it because she always declined the offer. All her nightmares centred around one figure these days and what could she say about that? She didn't feel right telling half-truths and if she did accidentally reveal a little too much then it would be easy to make the connection – that the object of her nightmares stalked her during her waking hours as well.

'Just think of me.' Roy kissed her forehead before gazing down at her. 'Let me chase them away for you.'

If only it were that easy. Roy Mustang was a very capable man. One that had not only stared down the odds but beat them, time and time again. She could happily place her life in his hands, knowing she would be safe but _this_ – this thing with the General was something he couldn't save her from. He couldn't keep her safe because he had no idea how far it had really gone.

'We should go, Colonel. They'll be wondering where we-'

'Give me a few more minutes.' Roy pleaded, his lips trailing kisses down her jawline and effectively stopping her mid-sentence. His arms tightened around her and Riza found herself sighing in content as he began to nuzzle the side of her neck, before his lips gradually moved lower.

Riza's hands moved up to his head, her fingers entwining themselves in his hair, massaging his scalp gently to try and soothe him. He had spent the last few hours stressed, chasing things up, tying up loose ends and in talks with the senior Generals. She could understand why he had wanted to seek refuge in her arms as much as she did in his.

Suddenly, she felt him stiffen – and then pull away from her. His fingers replaced his lips as he gingerly traced something on her collarbone. Riza suddenly felt sick. She had been too preoccupied with him not seeing the bruise on her face that she had completely forgotten about the ugly bite mark on her neck. Feeling the dread twist inside her stomach, she steeled herself for the questions.

But none came.

'I didn't think I was that rough with you.' Roy's tone was soft and apologetic. Riza could see the shock on his handsome features, the guilt in his eyes as his gaze locked on to hers. He tenderly brushed the pad of his thumb across her puffy lips. 'I'm so sorry, Riza.'

'It's fine!' She managed to say, keeping her voice steady. The thought of Roy blaming himself for the damage caused by the General was too much. She couldn't bear to have him touch that vile thing on her neck much less kiss it as though the very act of doing so would taint him with that same darkness – so when she felt his lips brush against the bite mark, she jumped violently, pulling herself away from his arms.

'Hey …' Riza could see the hurt in his eyes – and the hesitation. He wouldn't try and reach for her now. This was all too reminiscent of that day in the archives room. He took a step back instead, giving her plenty of room.

'I said it's fine. Don't worry.' Riza took a deep breath and smiled at him, but it felt a bit forced and probably looked just as bad. Straightening up her collar, she stepped forward to do the same for him before smoothing down his hair. 'We should really go now, sir.'

'Of course, Lieutenant.' Came his resigned response.

* * *

They didn't speak for the rest of the day and it was probably for the best. Riza hated the thought of him thinking that he had left her with such a vicious looking mark when in reality, he had done nothing of the sort. He hadn't been rough with her in the slightest - not in Pure Magnolia, at least. Roy had taken his time, lazily sucking and nibbling on her neck, thus leaving her with the love bite. His kisses and touch had only become rough after she had thrown herself at him despite his qualms – but even then, it was nowhere near as brutal as the treatment she had suffered in the General's hands.

The fact that he was feeling guilty over it and her reaction to his apology made her heart break. She had had no choice but to stop the conversation right then, and there. If they had continued, if she had let him comfort her and apologise again, she would have found herself weeping in his arms. And that would have invited questions she couldn't answer. It would have also made him feel worse. No, it was better to brush it off as though it hardly mattered. In a few days, it would fade.

Riza spent the entire day in the office, only getting up for latrine breaks. Havoc – sensing why she didn't want to leave, the heavy workload aside – had been gracious enough to go out and get some food. Falman and Breda were still out at the warehouse. Fuery had been given another task to downstairs and the Colonel was intermittently in and out of the office. The rest of the day was spent in companionable silence with Havoc as they each worked on their own tasks.

Despite her apprehension for the day, it really hadn't been as bad, aside from the incident with the Colonel. She really should have kept her distance especially now that Kaiser knew of her feelings. She couldn't afford to be caught in empty meeting rooms with the Colonel. It may have seemed innocent in the past but it certainly wouldn't be seen that way anymore – not if the General decided to spread the rumours, something he wasn't above doing.

The shrill ring of the telephone upon the Colonel's desk, interrupted her from her thoughts. Walking over to it, she picked up the receiver and answered - something which she had done countless times in the past.

'Ah, Lieutenant.' Came that all too familiar voice, oozing out of the ear piece. 'Just the very soldier I wished to speak to.'

Oh, he was playing the General now. No doubt, he would use that damned title to manipulate her. Riza couldn't help but cringe. She was aware that Havoc was looking on with interest. Turning her back to him so as not to let her expression betray her, she replied smartly. 'What can I do for you, sir?'

'Would you kindly come and see me in my office?' His tone was sickeningly pleasant.

Riza felt like she wanted to scream. How could she possibly fight this? How could she get away when he was ordering her as a _general?_ Even the Colonel couldn't argue with a command from a higher ranking officer. If Kaiser wanted her to come to his office, she had very little choice in the matter.

The few moments of silence didn't go over too well with the General.

'I meant _now_ , Lieutenant.' The snarl in his voice was evident.

As was his intention.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note:** M rating again in this chapter.

Coming Undone

Gritting her teeth, Riza slammed down the phone – a little harder than she had intended. If she hadn't had Havoc's attention before, she most certainly had it now. By the time she had arranged her features into a neutral expression and turned around to face him, he was already on his feet.

She _had_ considered bending the truth a little but had decided against it. He knew her well enough to realise the truth and besides, they were both well aware that _here_ , in Central Command – they had no leg to stand on when summoned by a higher-ranking officer. Not unless you wanted to be written up for insubordination.

And that wasn't worth doing. Individual repercussions aside, it would come back to her commanding officer, making it appear as though he had no control over his poorly trained subordinates. And she couldn't have that.

Unfortunately, Havoc caught on pretty quickly.

'Don't tell me …' He growled. Fists clenched at his sides, his expression conveying his anger and shock.

'Fine.' Her response was clipped, her warning look doing nothing to discourage him. 'I won't.'

Any semblance of composure and professionalism was cast aside as he rushed to her, placing his hands on her upper arms – a firm indication to stop, his actions reminiscent of hers earlier that morning when she had tried to stop him from storming out.

'You don't have to do this, Riza.' Despite his urgent tone, his gaze was gentle – beseeching, almost. 'You can't go – I won't let you.'

'Second Lieutenant Havoc, please stand down.' She hated having to resort to using rank – it made her no better than _him_ – but she couldn't afford to have Havoc worked up, much less interfere. That would only draw attention to themselves. It was fortunate that they happened to be alone in the office.

Her words had a sobering effect on him and reluctantly, he moved his hands away from her, giving her a salute and a sheepish look. 'Sorry, Lieutenant. Still can't let you go.'

'I don't have a choice!' Riza hissed. She wanted to get this over and done with before the Colonel came back. If he found out that the General was toying with her again, he would be furious. She knew how close he had been to using his alchemy before when he had walked in on them in the office. There was no telling whether he would be able to restrain himself if he discovered Kaiser was still tormenting her.

'Listen, Havoc.' Riza spoke to him in a low, calm tone. 'We can't afford to waste time like this. The Colonel could be back any minute and I don't want this to be more complicated than it already is. Besides,' she bit her lip, knowing full well how far the General was willing to go. 'I'm going to his office – what can he possibly do there?'

'Five minutes.' Havoc finally relented, grimly. 'If you're not back, I'm going to kick down his door.'

'Make it ten and you've got a deal.' Riza gave him a small smile before exiting the office.

As she made her way down the hallways, Riza could feel the dread beginning to build within her, slowing her usual brisk pace into a trudge. She felt as though she was walking through mud – each one of her steps heavy with resignation. But then another idea struck her.

What if she managed to walk into the Colonel? He would surely question why she was wandering the hallways especially when he had asked her to finish cataloguing the recovered items by the end of the day. Nor did she want him to return to the office and find her gone. And then there was Havoc …

Having him storm into the General's office was the last thing she needed.

These thoughts made her quicken her pace. And soon, she was standing in front of General Kaiser's office door. Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, she willed herself to adopt her usual air of formality and reservation. She would not give him the satisfaction of seeing her rattled. Not there, not like this.

'You may enter.'

Riza could hear the smugness in his words. That same smugness was mirrored in his gaze when she finally opened the door and stepped into the office. Despite herself, she was taken back by how gloomy it was inside. The layout of the room mirrored that of the office she shared with her team. The contrast between the two offices was immense.

Riza was used to working in a bright and open space – with sunlight spilling in from the two large windows behind the Colonel's desk. And then there was the _noise._ Idle chatter, the Colonel teasing Fuery, the banter between Havoc and Breda or even Falman getting up to make some coffee and tea for the rest of them.

Kaiser's office was shrouded, all shadows and silence. The heavy drapes were closed behind him, blocking the sunlight entirely. The only light source came from a single lamp on his desk, illuminating him in a sinister fashion. The room was completely still, the desks empty. Even though she knew that the building was _crawling_ with officers, right there and then, she felt as though she and the General were the only two people in the building.

By stepping into his office, she felt as though she had stepped into his fortress. The sound of the door closing behind her had an air of finality to it, which she didn't like. She stayed close to it, already calculating how long it would take him to reach her from his desk. Ten seconds, maybe? Plenty of time for her to turn around, wrench it open and get out of there.

Instinctively, she saluted, despising him more with each passing moment. When she spoke, her voice was clear and calm, betraying nothing of her disgust and fear. 'You called for me, sir?'

Instead of replying or even offering a salute of his own (which would have allowed her to bring her hand down), he simply sat there and watched her, his grey eyes piercing through the gloom. He still wore that same smug expression, his lips pulled back in a toothy smile as he slowly looked her up and down in a way that made her feel as though she was naked.

'At ease, soldier.' Kaiser finally, drawled. 'Come closer, Riza. It's not like I _bite._ '

The words caused her to flinch. The bite upon her collarbone felt as though it was burning. She flushed, a mixture of humiliation and pain. Her discomfort evident in the way she stiffened, her jaw clenching. Finally, being able to drop the salute, she moved her hand back down to her side. It took a great effort to edge closer into the room, especially when all her senses were telling her to leave.

Kaiser laughed at her, clearing amused. He had her trapped, after all – caught up in a web of rules and regulations. The joys of being a General when one's prey was a lowly Lieutenant. Riza knew full well that he would certainly use that to his advantage. She eyed him carefully, ready for any sudden movements on his part, but he seemed content to lounge in his chair behind the desk – a fat cat, lazily toying with its prey.

'I called you into my office today, Lieutenant Hawkeye – to remind you of one very simple fact. Fraternization is not only against Military regulations, it's _illegal_.' Kaiser paused for a moment, drawing out her discomfort. 'Being as beautiful as you are and bearing in mind the _reputation_ – ' the word was made to sound dirty – 'of your commanding officer, you can see why I would be concerned, right?'

But he already _knew_ – he had heard their conversation while he had been hiding in her bedroom last night. He had heard her begging her commanding officer to make love to her. Riza tried to keep the surprise and embarrassment back, keeping her expression neutral. She would not allow him to elicit a physical response from her – any tell-tale sign of her distress would not be given. Instead she gazed steadily back at him. What sort of response was he expecting?

There was no point in lying however, she couldn't bring herself to admit the truth either. Feigning ignorance was also out of the question. Her pleas to the Colonel last night had left very little to the imagination. Brushing aside what it _had_ been for something else entirely would only infuriate the General.

'Whatever … unfortunate choices that you have made in the past are done and dusted.' Kaiser continued, his voice becoming lower, more hushed – as though he was talking to a child. He watched her, unblinking. 'You wouldn't do that to me again now, would you, Riza?'

She suddenly understood what he was getting at. Not only was he threatening her with the information he had acquired, he was also giving her a chance to move past it. He wanted her to cut off all personal contact with the Colonel. And if she didn't … well, she could only imagine.

'Would you, _Lieutenant?_ ' This time there was a hard edge to his voice. The use of her title making it painfully clear that she didn't have any other option.

'No, sir.' She managed to choke out.

'That's a good girl.' Kaiser purred, beckoning her a little closer.

Riza's feet moved on their own accord – three steps closer before he dug her heels in. She would _not_ be venturing any further in. How long now? She tried to calculate – it would take him about five or six seconds to get to her. She would just barely make it to the door and then there was the time she would need to open it …

This was dangerous.

She couldn't rely on the fact that he wouldn't do anything to her in the office because he had already crossed that line before.

However, the General seemed in no rush to advance on her. He remained as he was – the only movement was that of his arm, snaking down behind the desk. He seemed to take his time, watching her in silence, his gaze ever calculating. Riza resisted the urge to fidget, to shift from foot to foot. She was getting restless. This had never been an issue in the past however, Kaiser's lecherous gaze made her want to squirm.

'Tell me,' Kaiser breathed deeply, 'do you ever think of me and touch yourself?'

Riza blinked. Had he just asked her that …? She couldn't quite articulate a response, the words sticking in her throat. This was wrong. He had summoned her here, he was _holding_ her here as a higher-ranking officer, purely so he could take advantage.

This time, her hesitance didn't seem to bother him, he continued talking in low, measured tones.

'I think about you all the time. I think about what you're doing when you're not here. I think about you in the shower – all soapy and wet. I think about …' He allowed his words to trail off as he looked her up and down suggestively. 'I can't help but think about what you may be wearing under that uniform.'

'If there is nothing else of importance of discuss, I should be going now, sir.' Riza said with diplomacy. The best thing to do would be to ignore that bit of information. She certainly didn't want to know that he thought about her while he touched himself. The idea was absolutely revolting.

'What are you wearing under that uniform today, Riza?' Kaiser asked, leaning further back in his chair, ignoring her previous statement.

She remained silent, clamping her lips together. She would not play this game.

'Lieutenant.' He growled. 'Answer the question!'

Again. He was using his rank when she didn't comply. Never had she come across an officer who had stooped so low, Solf Kimblee aside.

'… Underwear.' She finally muttered.

Kaiser laughed, thoroughly amused. 'Oh, you're going to have to do better than that. Describe them.'

Riza's cheeks were burning. Here she was discussing her underwear with – not only the man who had assaulted her, but a General, no less. She clenched her fists at her sides. Irritation, fear and disgust tumbling around within her, making her feel sick. The best thing to do would be to give him what he wanted – get this over with quick.

'Matching set – white, cotton, plain.' Despite her shame, Riza held her chin up defiantly. 'Anything else, _General_?'

'That's no good. That doesn't do a thing for me.' Kaiser tutted, seemingly disappointment. His lips soon curled up in a smirk. 'I think I can offer some inspiration …'

Suddenly, he stood up – his movement instigating a fight or flight response within Riza. Of course, it would be the latter. Although she was skilled at hand to hand combat, the sheer size and strength of the General would have been no match for her. She was light of her feet, ready to run but what she saw made her stop short – a deer in the headlights.

Kaiser's pants were unzipped, his thick shaft was poking out. And even though he had his fist curled around it, she could still see its engorged head, the tip purple from the strain. He remained where he was, more concerned about touching himself than getting close to her – for now. Riza gasped, involuntarily. She hurriedly averted her eyes to his face instead and he laughed.

'Don't be shy. It's not like you haven't seen it before.' He licked his lips slowly as he watched her. His voice starting to become raspy as he continued to pump himself. 'Tell me how it felt when I fucked you that first night. I know you liked it. You were _so_ wet for me – so soft and inviting. How could anyone blame me when you were lying there with your legs spread open? Do you want it again, Riza?'

This was disgusting and wrong, _so_ wrong. The sight of his member brought the memories from that night screaming back. She remembered watching as he had released himself from the confines of his pants. She remembered pleading with him as he had yanked her legs apart and ripped away her panties before positioning himself at her entrance. And she remembered the searing pain when he had driven himself inside her with no mercy.

Shaking her head frantically, she couldn't help the whimper that escaped her lips as she backed away from him.

'Do _not_ move, Lieutenant Hawkeye. Do you understand?' He was using that tone again, playing the General.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Riza recognised the order and her feet glued themselves into place. All those years of training and blind obedience hadn't been for nothing. Her first instinct was to follow orders – even while every fibre in her being was telling her to run.

But the General hadn't moved towards her the entire time. He was still behind his desk, seemingly content to watch her from afar as he toyed with her. And so, miserably she stayed where she was, hating herself for being so weak.

'Call out to me, Riza.' Kaiser crooned, his hand moving faster. 'Say my name.'

Riza couldn't believe this was happening – she was watching a superior officer masturbate in front of her. If she dared to speak of this, who would even believe her at this point? This was ridiculous and she was trapped. And they both knew it.

'Address me by name, lieutenant!' He suddenly demanded, the build-up of pleasure inflecting his tone despite its harshness.

Before Riza could open her mouth to speak, they were interrupted by a loud knocking sound – three times on the door behind her.

Havoc.

Her ten minutes were up.

She wanted to weep in relief and yet all she could feel was panic. She couldn't let him get into trouble for her sake. She glanced at the door behind her and then back at Kaiser who was muttering profanities as he hastily zipped himself up.

'What is it?' He barked in irritation. 'Come in!'

Riza held her breath, waiting for the door to open. But it didn't. And there was no answer.

'I said, _come in_!' Kaiser tried again, only to be met by that same silence. After a few moments, he glared at Riza instead. 'Lieutenant, open the door and see who it is.'

Obediently, she moved to open the door, welcoming the cool rush of air from outside. She hadn't realised how warm and stuffy it had been in the office. Stepping forward enough to look out, she was relived to find the hallway deserted. The person had fled.

'There's no one there, sir.' Riza informed the General. She stayed as she way, hovering on the threshold, hoping he would dismiss her. But he did no such thing. With a growl, he instructed her to get back inside and close the door. Her heart sank as she obeyed, feeling as though she was her turning her back on her freedom.

So close and yet, so far.

The General's mood had turned darker in those few moments. He was obviously upset at the interruption. She could see his erection straining against his pants.

'Get over here, Lieutenant.' He snarled at her, all pretences gone. 'I want you on your knees with your mouth open.'

'No!' Riza's response had come without warning, surprising even her. Her fists were shaking by her side. She couldn't believe that he actually wanted her to walk over to him for _that_ – there was just no way. She couldn't.

'You don't have a choice.' His voice possessed a quiet fury, his eyes burned with intensity as he glared at her. 'Don't make me drag you to the floor and fuck your mouth by force.'

Riza's breaths were coming out in short little spurts, her chest tightening with blind panic. She found herself edging away and then jumped violently as three deafening crashes sounded against the door, making it shudder under the force.

Havoc, she realised – was he _drop kicking_ the door?

'WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WANT?!' Kaiser roared, losing the last bit of control he had.

Without warning, he stormed over to the door, making Riza hastily scamper to the other side of the office, in an attempt to get as far away as possible. She watched as he flung it open and glared up and down the hallway. After a few tense moments, he retreated into the office, closing the door behind him.

'When I find out who's been fucking me with, I am going to _kill_ them.' Kaiser growled at no one in particular, his face like thunder. His attention then suddenly landed on Riza and he rushed up to her, pinning her against the wall.

He had moved with such speed she hadn't had time to react and because she had already been at the far end of the office anyway, near the wall, it hadn't taken much to shove her up against it. She tried to struggle against him but it was no use – his grip on her was iron-like.

'Mark my words.' Kaiser hissed, his face so close to hers that she could feel his breath, hot against her face. 'When it comes time for me to fuck you senseless, I am going to make it _hurt_.'

Bringing his hand up, he forced his fingers into her mouth, caressing her tongue. She could taste something on them – something salty and wet. She realised what it was; pre-ejaculate. She remembered how the head of his shaft had been glistening with moisture when he had been stroking himself. It made her want to be sick and she found herself gagging against his fingers. She tried to pull her head away but he was holding it tightly in place.

'Don't worry,' he crooned gently to her, almost as though they were lovers. 'You'll get used to that taste soon enough …'

Riza could feel his hand move down to touch her between her legs but before his fingers could make contact – there was another interruption. This time, one almighty crash, following by smaller sounds of things toppling over and rolling across the floor.

This time, Kaiser didn't bother to address the person outside nor did he move to open the door. Instead he glared accusingly at Riza. She knew that he blamed her for the interruptions, that the person responsible was an ally of hers. What else could it be?

'Next time, there will be no one to save you.' He threatened, his face so close that their noses were almost touching. Violently, shoving his hips against hers, he pressed his erection into her hard, driving home his final point. 'I'm going to _impale_ you.'

Terrified at the prospect, Riza bit her lip to keep herself from crying out. Her entire body shook and she found herself sinking to the floor at soon as he released her.

'You're dismissed, Lieutenant.' Kaiser was already walking over to his desk. 'Now get out before I change my mind and fuck your throat raw.'

Jumping to her feet, Riza rushed out of the office, her heart thundering in her chest and on the verge of tears. She knew the only reason why he hadn't carry out his threat was due to the incessant banging on the door. He was afraid that on one of those occasions, somebody would walk in on then.

When she finally stepped into the hallway, she was astonished to see a trolley lying on its side, cleaning supplies scattered all over the floor. It looked suspiciously like the ones the maintenance crew carted around. Somebody must have driven the thing straight into the General's office door, resulting in that colossal noise. Carefully stepping over a bottle of bleach, Riza marched down the hallway and back to her own office.

Havoc was hanging around just inside the door when she stepped in. She had entered in such a rush that she found herself caught off balance as she tried to stop herself from mowing him down in her haste.

'Woah.' He held on to her shoulders to steady her. 'You all right?'

Riza was breathing hard. She shook her head mutely. And then nodded. The enormity of her situation finally sinking down on her. She was suddenly finding it hard to breath. She felt herself being led further into the office. It was stupid, she thought vaguely in the back of her mind, to have a meltdown just inside the doorway.

She caught Havoc's kind gaze and realised exactly what he had done. He had found a way to save her without drawing himself in. It had been a juvenile plan however, it had been effective. It had saved her from real harm. The thought of Havoc – a soldier from the Amestrian army, kicking and hurling trolleys at doors before fleeing made her want to giggle.

It was so silly and so pathetically _needed._

If she didn't laugh now, then she would cry. Gradually her giggle turned into full-on laughter. Through her tears, she could see Havoc watching her with concern before he too, joined in, realising the absurdity of the situation.

'What's so funny?' A familiar baritone interjected between their laughter.

Riza turned around to see the Colonel standing in the doorway, watching them both. He smiled at her, clearing mistaking her near hysteria for amusement. Riza brushed away the tears from her eyes, resisting the urge to run into his arms, begging for comfort and confessing her secrets – anything to tear down the wall between them.

'I'm sorry, sir.' Riza regained her composure, before giving Havoc a glance.

'Yeah.' Havoc grinned, giving the Colonel a lazy, half-assed salute before continuing dryly. 'Guess the Lieutenant found my knock-knock joke pretty damn funny.'

Havoc's word play made Riza stifle a giggle. She could feel the Colonel watching her carefully and she schooled her features into her usual reserved look. 'Joking aside, Havoc,' she began, in her normal authoritative tone. 'Has that report been completed?'

'Yes, ma'am!' Havoc gave her another lazy salute before holding up a sheaf of papers in proudly. 'All done.'

Before the Colonel could question either one of them, Fuery came bounding in through the door. Upon seeing the Colonel, he saluted smartly before handing over a small tape.

'That's the conversation that took place at the bar, sir.' He beamed. 'I made an extra copy for your records. Oh! And I bumped into General Grumman on my way up here. He asked me to inform you that he would like to see you.'

'Good work, Sergeant.' Roy pocketed the tape, glancing at the clock on the wall – it was nearing six in the evening. 'And thanks for the head's up. Now go home already.'

The last part was directed to all three of them.

They each wished the Colonel a good night before he left to see General Grumman. Fuery had scampered of immediately after a cheery goodbye. Riza slowly tidied up her desk, all the while aware of the concerned looks Havoc was throwing her way. She knew at that moment that he was someone she could confide in. He had kept his word by keeping her secret to himself and he had found a way to help her without complicating matters or putting himself in danger of being discovered.

Yes, it was about time.

As soon as they got back, she would tell him everything and hope that he would continue to be a steady source of strength and support he'd always proven to be in the past.

* * *

It was nearing nine in the evening when Roy finally finished. It had been a hell of a long day. Of course, he had known this would be the case, the moment his alarm clock had jarred him out of sleep in the morning. He'd woken up bleary eyed and hungover. It served him right for drinking well into the night.

The day had kept him busy, delegating tasks to his team and running in and out of meetings. He had been most preoccupied with Decker. There was something clearly wrong with the picture. Upon questioning, he had sung like a canary and yet, something was missing. Looking at the man, Roy found it difficult to believe that he was the mastermind behind the entire operation. Something didn't add up. But they had just begun to scratch the surface and there was still plenty to do before they uncovered every little secret.

What plagued him the most was what he had done to Riza. He didn't remember the mark of her collarbone looking so painful the night before – or so large. He must have bit and sucked hard on her to have caused something like that. The thought of her in discomfort or pain at his hands made him feel sick with guilt. He would never hurt her and the fact that he _had –_ along with his own obliviousness,was hard to take. It hurt to see her jump and pull away from him as he had tried to sooth her inflamed skin with his lips.

Almost as though she couldn't bear to have him touch her.

Running a hand through his hair, he sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. How did he manage to keep fucking up? It had never been an issue with other women. But he tried so hard with Riza, because she _mattered_ – she wasn't just a way to spend the night. And despite the care he took with her, he kept on accidentally hurting her. He'd hurt her when he had declined her invitation last night – when she had been aching for him, begging him to take her. He'd hurt her again, when he had roughly grabbed at her and kissed her and then there was the bite mark he had left on her body.

She deserved better.

Swearing softly under his breath, he tidied up his desk half-heartedly before pulling on his black duster over his uniform and exiting the office. It was late and the building was hushed. Walking down the hallways, he mentally made plans for the night ahead. He would break open that new bottle of scotch and sleep. Sure, he would probably wake up hungover in the morning but even that was better, than lying in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling and feeling like shit.

Or worse.

Thinking about _her_ , getting hard and feeling guilty for it. And then forcing himself to have a cold shower when the temperature outside was already in the minus digits now. Winter was fast approaching and it was freezing. There would be no cold showers. He would just have to keep his thoughts in check.

A movement to his left caught his eye – the door to the ladies' room. He watched as a familiar figure slipped out, its head down as it shuffled closer to him.

'Cassandra?' Roy was surprised at seeing her there so late. He watched as she looked up, startled. Evidently, she hadn't noticed him. She immediately looked away, bowing her head.

'Good evening, Colonel Mustang.' It came out as a near whisper.

'Are you all right?' Roy asked gently, lowering his own voice.

Cassandra looked up shyly – her gaze meeting his for a moment or two before she looked away, addressing his chest instead. 'Yes, sir.'

He couldn't help but note her appearance. Hers eyes were red-rimmed and her lips were swollen. Her usual tidy uniform was rumpled. Her knees were red as though she had spent hours kneeling in from of a filing cabinet and her small fists, which were clenched by her sides were trembling. A stray tear dropped to her cheek and she hastily brushed it away.

She was obviously upset and had been crying at some point. He reached out to gently take her by the arm and she flinched, suddenly beginning to tremble.

'Easy now,' he soothed. 'I was going to ask you to come back to my office. You're in no shape to be going anywhere.'

She tried to speak but only succeeded in whimpering at him. She didn't pull away, however. That was a good sign.

'It's pouring rain outside.' Roy remarked, glancing out of the window in disgust. His voice turned gentle, coaxing. 'Let's wait it out for a little bit and then I'll drive you home, okay?'

He led her back to his office, ushering her inside and closing the door behind them. The closed door seemed to make nervous, her expression taking on the look of a frightened rabbit. Roy gave her plenty of room and chatted to her about this and that to make her feel a little more at ease as he made some tea.

When the tea had been poured into cups, he turned around to find her perched in Havoc's chair. It was one of the closest to his desk – the other being, Riza's of course, which happened to be positioned opposite Havoc's.

Placing the cup of tea in front of her, Roy moved back to his own desk and took a seat. He merely nodded as she offered him a small, grateful smile before taking a shaky sip.

'Thank you, sir.'

'You're welcome, Cassandra.' He flashed her one of his charming smiles. Despite her initial uncertainty, he could feel her warm to him as she leaned forward, watching him intently.

'… I'm sorry to hold you back, Colonel Mustang.' She began. 'It was kind of you to offer me a ride.'

'There's certainly no need to apologise – or thank me.' Roy brushed away her words smoothly. 'I was concerned about you. Are you all right – really?'

She shook her head.

'Tell me what's going on.' He asked firmly.

Roy watched as she glanced fearfully towards the door to the office, before giving him a meaningful look. That said it all. She was afraid to talk here. The fact that she had shaken her head to let him know she wasn't okay indicated she wanted him to _know_ but not here. He could accept that. He would have to try another way, get her comfortable first.

'Just pressures of work.' Cassandra lied, giving him a sad smile.

* * *

It was late by the time Riza and Havoc settled into their respective beds. On Havoc's insistence, she had taken the bed while he took the couch. She felt guilty for it. Not only was she intruding but she had kicked him out of his bed. He had cheerfully brushed her off, claiming that he'd slept in worse places in the past. A lumpy couch was no problem.

After work, they had stopped off at a grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner before making their way back to Havoc's apartment. He hadn't been kidding, Riza had noticed as she put away the meat and vegetables into his fridge, when he said he had nothing but beer and noodles in his kitchen. They'd made dinner together, working side by side. It had been easy – Havoc's cheery personality taking away any awkwardness she may have felt.

They'd eaten dinner whilst chatting, Havoc taking on the lion's share much to Riza's relief. She enjoyed listening rather than talking and found herself laughing at some of the stories he told her. The one about Breda's blind date had been especially hilarious and she mentally reminded herself to tease Breda about it when things were back to normal.

If they would _ever_ be normal again.

But she tried not to dwell on that. She had to take it one day at a time. She couldn't bring herself to tell Havoc her sordid tale over the dinner table so she had waited until they were both settled in for the night and cloaked in darkness. That way, he wouldn't see the shame in her eyes nor the tears on her cheeks as she revealed all.

Riza started at the beginning. Her voice was calm and steady as she spoke, talking almost clinically – as though she was a doctor describing the events of someone's life leading up to an accident. She explained how she had first met the General, how he had invited her to dinner and how she – thinking his intentions had been innocent – had accepted without any mistrust whatsoever.

She kept her eyes trained on the ceiling, ignoring the lump in her throat as she explained the next part – what had happened back in her apartment. How he had suddenly turned and attacked her. Her voice didn't betray her jumble of emotions and thankfully, Havoc kept quiet throughout, simply listening to her secrets.

Then came the part that was a little easier to talk about as Havoc already knew most of it. The transfer request and the fact that the flowers were from Kaiser. She couldn't bring herself to tell him what the note had said.

Riza then went on to reveal how he had bent her over her desk in the office, how he had hurt her and how the Colonel had reacted when he had walked in on then. She made sure to emphasize how close he had been to using his Flame Alchemy and the possible repercussions for that split-second loss of control.

The only information she omitted was that of her personal relationship with the Colonel. It was one thing telling Havoc what the General had done to her, what he _was_ doing to her but her relationship with the Colonel wasn't just her secret to share. It wouldn't be fair to reveal it so easily.

Riza talked about the three days she had spent away from work. How she had tried to rest and heal and put the past behind her. She then followed this with what had occurred last night before she had come running to him. And then finally, what had happened in the office today and how he had saved her from a worse fate than having the taste of him on his fingers shoved into her mouth.

By the time she had finished her story, her throat felt parched and she had trouble seeing. Her vision was blurred and she realised, she was crying. Not just crying – her entire body was wracked with sobs. She suddenly flinched as she felt a hand on her shoulder in the darkness but it was only Havoc, come to kneel by the side of the bed.

'Shhhh, it will be all right, Riza.' His voice sounded hoarse as he tried to comfort her. He patted her hand, his voice becoming firmer. 'That's never going to happen again. I'm going to follow you like a fucking shadow in that building, okay? I won't let you go anywhere alone. He won't get a chance to do anything like that ever again.'

She had been afraid he would react as he had the night before. She didn't think she had the energy to get up and stop him tonight but he surprised her – keeping his anger in check and choosing to comfort her instead. How she wanted to believe his words. He made it sound so simple.

'I can't believe you kept this whole thing to yourself for so long. But you can stop worrying so much now.' He murmured, his hand warm on hers. 'I'm on your side. And I'll be damned before I let that bastard do anything like that to you ever again'.

Riza wasn't sure when she fell asleep but when she finally woke in the morning, she was both surprised and touched to see Havoc asleep, slumped next to her bed, his hand still on hers. He had spent the entire night beside her bed.

She glanced at the clock – it was still early, four in the morning. But she felt oddly refreshed and wide awake. Carefully she slipped out of bed and encouraged Havoc to roll into it instead. In his sleepy state, he complied without question. Soon he was snoring away. Smiling down at him, she covered him with a blanket before she went to take a shower.

She had a lot of thinking to do before she went to work today.

It was clear she needed to make a big change – whether she liked it or not.


	15. Chapter 15

Coming Undone

Riza had always appreciated early mornings – the chance to take some time and gather her thoughts together, to mentally prepare herself for the day ahead. She liked to linger over her coffee, enjoying the quiet solitude because she knew the rest of her day would be difficult – one way or the other.

Usually, her working schedule consisted of paperwork, chasing up reports and coaxing the Colonel to do a little more than lounge at his desk. But still, babysitting the Colonel while trying to deal with the effect he had on her own heart was a job in its' own right. Each morning, she would mentally instruct herself not to feel anything for him and each day, she would fail.

This morning was no different.

However, there were more pressing matters weighing her shoulders down. After a long, hot shower, she had made herself a pot of coffee and curled up on the couch, still in her robe. It was still dark out and Havoc was snoring softly. It almost felt peaceful

Almost.

She couldn't ignore the feeling of dread gnawing away inside her. She hated feeling so vulnerable, so out of control – especially when it was her role to provide a sense of normalcy and order during times of chaos. She knew her team could look to her for guidance even when things were falling apart around them. During these tumultuous times, even the Colonel seemed soothed by her quiet, unwavering presence by his side.

And now, she felt as though she was on the verge of a panic attack. Alternating between calming breaths and long sips of hot coffee, she gradually willed herself to slow down and think about this logically. She was in a predicament, yes. The hostile was manipulative, dangerous, and powerful. He had invaded her mind, body, and home with ease.

Not only could he use his high rank against her but he also had information that could get both her and the Colonel in a tremendous amount of trouble. That information could also be used for blackmail.

Although there was no proof to indicate a relationship between herself and her commanding officer, it wouldn't matter – an accusation alone, would do the damage. Unfortunately, given the Colonel's reputation with the ladies, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch for others to simply take the word of the General, if he chose to reveal all against them.

And that's what she couldn't afford.

What was the point in them both being made to suffer when she could take it all upon herself? If she could save the Colonel from damage – physical, emotional, and reputational – wasn't that enough? Wasn't that her job? She _had_ promised to watch his back all those years ago, and she was going to keep that promise. With that in mind, her decision was already made.

But oh, there was another part of her – a smaller, insistent part which screamed at her to not let him go. That love like this came once in a lifetime and that she would be a fool to give up so easily. Her heart ached knowing that she would need to hurt the man she loved, just so that she could keep him safe from harm.

But this was no surprise, not really. Letting Roy go had been the inevitability she had cried herself to sleep over shortly after the assault. She knew there was no way she would be able to give him what he needed to keep him satisfied. She couldn't be in an adult relationship with him and expect him to be content with kissing and cuddling. It's not as though they were sixteen anymore. A man such as Roy Mustang would expect more and that was something she couldn't do – regardless of the way she behaved in the heat of the moment. He had been so patient with her, it would be cruel to make him wait until she was ready, especially when she still felt dirty and raw. There was no telling how long it would take her to truly feel ready to be fully intimate again.

But when she had first considered this, it hadn't seemed so terrible because they hadn't gotten themselves to the point where they were well and truly entangled with each other. This had been when she still lay in bed, dreaming about what could be between them. The Colonel had been blissfully ignorant to her desires. But now that he knew, now that it was obvious that they were both deeply attracted to one another and now that they had both stepped over the line – it was that much harder to step back.

She was no expert on relationship matters but she knew full well that she was in love with Roy Mustang – a fact that hadn't changed since her teenage years. She knew he felt something for her and maybe it _was_ something akin to love. But she had a hard time believing that he was equally devoted to her. Because if he was, surely, he wouldn't have resorted to seeing other women? Surely, she would have been enough for him?

Riza found herself frowning at the thought – suddenly thinking back to that night, back in the bar. That very first night, when the Colonel had cosied up to her only to leave her for the company of a beautiful woman instead. She wasn't a naive. She knew his dates wouldn't end with a kiss at the door. Of course, not. They would the morning after.

That had been the night when her ordeal with the General had begun – and all because she had been hurt and angry with the Colonel.

Was the Colonel still seeing other women behind her back? She found it hard to believe that all that would just stop simply because they had grown closer. What did he do during his weekends? Or the nights when he wasn't with her? While it was true that she never heard Breda and Havoc begging the Colonel for information – or the 'dirty details' as Breda liked to call them – anymore, that didn't mean that he had ceased his … nightly activities.

If that _was_ the case, then he was incredibly skilled at hiding it from her. Thinking back to their time together, she had never known him to be distracted or agitated. On the contrary, he had been nothing but attentive and kind – making her feel as though she was the only woman in his eyes. It was confusing to say the least. She could have asked him outright but it wasn't her place especially when she didn't even know what they were doing or whether they were mutually exclusives – if there was even such a thing for them.

Aside from having a professional relationship, what else could they be? Friends, maybe. But anything more was strictly out of the question.

* * *

Havoc woke up that morning with a pounding head and a dry throat. He blinked sleepily, confused by the softness of the mattress under him and the warm blanket. He was in his bed – hadn't he given it to Riza? Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he propped himself up one elbow and caught sight of her easily enough.

She was huddled on the couch, clutching a mug between her hands. He had never seen her look so lost and vulnerable – and with a start, her confession from last night came flooding back. His hands tightened into fists as he remembered how he had spent most of the night crouched near her bed, watching as she had sobbed her heart out.

He had been utterly useless – not knowing what to do or say. What _could_ he say? How could he comfort her when the damage had already been done? What could he have said to make her feel better? In the end, he had remained silent after his initial promise of ensuring that he wouldn't let her get hurt again. He had sat by her side, one hand on hers while the other gently rubbed her back as he listened to her sobs gradually quietening down to hiccups.

It was so much worse than he had thought. He hadn't even allowed himself to think to that extent – even after seeing the aftermath of the struggle back at Riza's apartment. A part of him was glad that it hadn't happened that night when she had come running to him but it hurt him to realise that it had happened a couple of months back now – and he hadn't known. He hadn't been able to stop it or comfort her in any way. That he had remained completely ignorant of her suffering when she had been in pain right under his nose.

Forcing himself out of bed, he approached her – she glanced up and their eyes met and he knew he didn't have to say anything at all. Whatever had been troubling her was cast aside for the moment as she gave him a shaky smile.

'So, breakfast?'

Riza had initially declined, but he had insisted. It would do her good to eat something, especially if the day ahead was going to be anything like yesterday. They sat in companionable silence, over omelettes and coffee. Riza was quiet as she nibbled on her toast but that was okay. After last night, they both had a lot to process. He appreciated that it had been incredibly difficult for her to reveal her secrets and he was grateful that she had chosen him to confide in. They had a long history together starting from their academy days – and it was nice to know that she valued him as a friend as well as a colleague.

There was still the problem of the General though. Havoc felt torn between wanting to kill him and wanting to make him pay for what he had put Riza through. He wanted the bastard slammed into a prison cell for the rest of his days. But they had to be smart about this. Riza had a few valid points.

As infuriating and pathetic as it seemed, it really was her word against the General's. He was also aware that Riza didn't want people to know so hurling accusations would not only be useless, it would also humiliate her in the process.

The Colonel couldn't know about this otherwise they would have a charred corpse on their hands and as tempting as that sounded, he knew if it came to that, it would be the Colonel's ass on the line. And Havoc was quite fond of that arrogant prick – so no, he couldn't let that happen either.

What then?

He could confront the General himself – as calmly as possible, but he had promised Riza he would do no such thing. Assuming, that he ignored her wishes and _did_ confront the General – what would happen? Would he be threatened? Laughed at? Lied to? And even if he did start accusing him, it would still be the word of a Second Lieutenant against a General's. Havoc didn't really care what happened to him but it would do no good to make his presence known so early, especially if Kaiser thought Riza was all alone in this. Let the bastard get comfortable. Let him think he's winning for now.

His fall would come in time.

But the question remained – how?

In the meantime, all he could do was make sure she was safe and away from that bastard. And if that meant kicking down doors and resorting to vandalism, then so be it. He wouldn't allow for another situation like that if he could help it. It was dangerous for Riza to be anywhere alone with Kaiser. The fact that he had already tried to take advantage both in their own office and his office the other day was worrying. Was he daring or just careless? Either way, it didn't matter. If a situation ever called for Riza having to be alone with that fucker, he too would demand to be there. Fuck the consequences.

After breakfast, Riza had insisted on washing up. It was only fair, she had reasoned since he had cooked. She kept her back to him, thus allowing him to get changed. After she was done, he went outside for a smoke, giving her time to get dressed herself. It wasn't easy living in a small apartment especially with a woman who had been through what Riza had. And he had tried his best to give her as much room as she needed. He wouldn't blame her for feeling uncomfortable if he stayed too close regardless of what she was doing. He had stopped smoking inside as well – choosing to step out for a smoke each time the urge struck.

'You don't have to do that, you know.' Riza had said to him quietly, the night before. It had been much earlier, before that awful confession. The mood had been lighter. It was freezing outside and he was aware that she felt guilty for him having to go outside. 'It's your apartment, after all. I don't mind.'

'We can't have that.' Havoc had laughed, giving her a friendly nudge with his shoulder. 'If you went into work smelling like me, people would start talking.'

'Wouldn't they assume I had simply started smoking myself?' She had questioned, innocently. But he had caught the playful glint in her eyes.

'Nah. These Lucky Eights that I smoke have a very distinctive scent. Haven't come across many who smoke 'em.' Havoc had paused, before teasing. 'People would probably jump straight to the conclusion of you having fallen for the handsome devil they call Second Lieutenant Havoc.'

Riza had only laughed and he had pretended to be offended.

A moment later, he had picked up his pack of cigarettes and she had gone back to her book, a small frown settling on to her features as she restlessly flicked through the pages – not really reading. Just staring blankly at the words, giving her trembling hands something to do, something real to hold on to.

If only it were that easy, Havoc had thought to himself at the time – to _really_ make her smile and chase away the shadows from behind her eyes.

* * *

Havoc kept true to his word and followed her around like a shadow – which, fortunately, he was skilful at doing so in an indistinct manner. His casual, easy-going way of doing things around the office and sauntering through the hallways made the task quite easy and nobody seemed to notice. He kept a safe but watchful distance following her in and out of the building as well as accompanying her to the canteen during lunch break. He even offered his assistance for any errands she had to run in between.

Riza was both impressed and grateful with the way Havoc smoothly managed to handle their affairs at work, ensuring that she was never truly alone – with latrine breaks being the exception, of course. But even then, she was always amused to find him loitering outside each time she stepped out of the ladies' room.

'You do realise you can't keep this up forever, right?' She had asked him as they were walking back to the office.

'Of course, not!' Havoc had replied cheerfully. 'Only until he drops dead.'

Thankfully, it had been another busy day and Riza hadn't had the chance to speak to the Colonel properly. But even so, she was careful not to send him any private looks across the office and when she did address him, it was in a strictly professional tone. The last thing she wanted to do was to encourage him any further.

She had to start distancing herself from him as soon as possible so when the time finally came, she hoped it wouldn't hurt as much. She did catch him giving her a warm smile and a tender look every now and then but she ignored it, choosing to look down at her paperwork while her heart clenched painfully in her chest. She didn't dare look back at him to catch his reaction to her clear brush off.

Fortunately, she didn't have to spend the rest of the day torturing herself over her plan to personally extricate herself from the Colonel. Their investigation was progressing and it was worrying to find out that they hadn't caught the king pin, after all. Decker was a buffoon – anyone who spent more than ten minutes with him could have attested to that.

A large selection of weapons had been brought in to checked over and disturbingly enough, nearly everything they had confiscated happened to be of military origin. That said, there was someone in Central Command responsible for either handing over these weapons or turning a blind eye as these individuals helped themselves. Either way, it was deplorable behaviour by the officers involved. And although Decker had chatted with inane zeal about everything from his role in the organization to his pant size, his lips remained tightly sealed when questioned about his superior. The fact that they were aware of the military connection hadn't been divulged to him just yet.

It was difficult because they only had limited control of the situation. Now that Decker had been detained, specialised teams had been instructed to deal with the evidence and the suspect. It had taken a lot of persuading on the Colonel's part to even get time alone with Decker. This time alone hadn't really helped as Decker had cheerfully talked him into sheer boredom. However, during all that talk – one thing had slipped out.

'He asked me about the 'pretty lady with the guns'.' The Colonel had revealed back in the office, much to the amusement of the others.

'Maybe I should speak to him, sir?' Riza had asked. 'He may lower his guard enough to reveal something useful.'

'Absolutely not.' The Colonel had wasted no time in denying that request. Although he had spoken in his usual authoritative tone, she had been able to detect that note of possessiveness in his voice. 'Your work with this individual is done, Lieutenant.'

She hadn't pushed further.

Decker's 'customer' on the other hand – an Ishvalan by the name of Hamos Striven had been released after a stern warning and a thorough background check. The young man didn't have a criminal record and it would have been foolish to detain him any further – the Fuhrer and his Generals had decided, considering Amertris' volatile history with Ishval. The last thing they needed was for that newly acquired, tentative peace between the two countries to be torn down over something like this. It seemed promising that the man had been remorseful in his decision to acquire such weapons. He only needed them to protect his people, he had said.

* * *

'You're so tense, Lieutenant.' The Colonel purred into Riza's ear as he gently massaged her shoulders.

It was a little before the end of their lunch break. Havoc had escorted her back to their office before leaving for a quick smoke. The others weren't back yet however, the Colonel was there already sitting at his desk, meaning Riza wouldn't be alone which Havoc had deemed good enough. Riza had silently worried about what would happen now. She had tried to keep her distance all day, but now they were alone together. Even a few minutes was too much.

She hadn't been able to react when he had approached her, his hands rendering her completely still and submissive under his touch. She was sitting at her desk, trying to get herself to move away from him while he stood behind her chair, leaning over – his lips dangerously close to her ear. She could feel him breathe her in.

'Being your commanding officer and all,' she could practically feel him smirking now, his lips ghosting over her ear as he whispered. 'It's my duty to ensure your perfectly at ease, soldier.'

Riza couldn't help but release a soft moan as his fingers worked out a knot in her left shoulder. His lips had inched closer now, moving across her cheek until he could place a kiss upon it, catching the corner of her mouth. The temptation to turn her head so their lips could meet was all too great.

She wanted to kiss him one last time – _really_ kiss him but it would have been cruel to do so, knowing that he would be completely unaware that it would be their last kiss. And so, she would have to go without. She had her memories, however. Whatever Kaiser did, he couldn't take those away from her and she clung on to this fact with everything she had.

The General couldn't take everything from her.

Riza gently brushed Roy off with regret, standing up and turning around so that she stood facing him. Her features were perfectly schooled into her usual stoic expression. Whatever she had felt only moments ago, had been expertly concealed, locked tight within her heart.

'I don't think that's very appropriate, sir.'

She watched quietly as he glanced at the door, obviously thinking that someone had been there for her to react in such a way. But the doorway was empty, the door half open. Outside the hallway was silent.

'Riza.' He smiled, reaching out for her once more but she respectfully shook him off, taking a step back to allow more room between them. They were standing too close to each other. This time he seemed suitably perplexed. 'What's going on?'

'My apologises, sir.' Riza gave him a salute. 'Like I said, this isn't very appropriate.'

Before the Colonel could say another word, in walked Breda and Fuery, chattering animatedly and completely oblivious to what they had just interrupted. Giving her an indiscernible look, the Colonel stalked back to his desk, merely grunting in response when Fuery greeted him.

Returning to her own desk, Riza promptly pulled out some reports and got to work – trying in vain to keep her mind occupied for the next few hours. That had been bad. She could only imagine how much worse it would be when the Colonel was able to finally demand some answers. She realised it was no good to give him the brush off, while hoping he would take the hint. He wouldn't believe it for a second if she hid behind military rules and regulations for her sudden change of heart. No, she had to tell him outright. And she had to intentionally hurt him to make him realise that she was serious.

* * *

Why was he always left here in the evenings? The last few days had consisted of him working late at the office, trying to put this crap of an operation together to make some sense out of it. It had been slow going thus far. But tonight, it wasn't about that. Tonight, was about getting closer to something else entirely and he had purposely stayed behind to wait for her, knowing full well – thanks to some discreet questioning – that she would be finishing soon. He would allow himself just enough time to meet her as she was leaving her office. In the meantime, he tried to sort through the various reports on his desk.

Today hadn't been good. Decker aside, it was Riza that had been worrying him again. What with the way she had recoiled from him the day before when he had tried to apologise for the bite mark – and then, of course, her cool brush off today. What was going on? Was she angry with him? Uncomfortable? He didn't know, couldn't possibly fathom the reason behind her strange behaviour.

It was unfair really – how she could read him so easily when he could barely make sense of what was going on in her mind. She had always been skilled at keeping her cards close to her chest. Even when she lowered her defences, he still couldn't get to all of her. There was always a part of her that was kept out of his reach. Whether she did that intentionally or instinctively, he didn't know.

She had always kept herself guarded – even as a child. This was something he could never blame her for – what with her childhood and the relentless teasing of her peers. But after all this time, he would have thought she trusted him enough to lower her guard and let him see her for all that she was. He would love her without question, even the parts of her she herself didn't like.

He hated this uncertainty, this distance between them. What had changed? The only incident that sprang to mind was the night when they had returned from Pure Magnolia. If she kept assuring him that the bite was no issue, was it the fact that he had rejected her advances that had made her behave this way towards him? It was the only other thing he could think of and yet, something told him this was not the case …

Glancing at the time, Roy made his way over to her office. He was waiting outside when she finally emerged, blinking into the light. The hallways were brightly lit – blindingly so, compared to the murky room she had slipped out from.

'Long day?' He asked, dryly, noting her dishevelled appearance.

'Colonel Mustang.' Cassandra acknowledged, giving him a tiny smile. 'You could say that.'

'How about a drink?' Roy offered, giving her a charming smile. 'I think today calls for something a little stronger than tea.'

He watched as she bit her lip, glancing nervously up and down the hallway. She seemed torn at the invitation. The silence stretched on but he waited patiently, watching her with avid interest as an internal battle played out in her mind. Finally, just when he thought she would decline the drink, she nodded at him – her smile more terrified than pleased.

'Maybe just a quick one.'

A little while later, a face stared out from a window of an empty meeting room. The room was dark and the figure stood motionless, half in shadow. Twin grey orbs glared in outrage as he watched Colonel Roy Mustang usher a very familiar woman into his car and drive off into the night. What was that bitch doing? How dare she get in the car with Mustang, of all men?

Kaiser knew exactly what the Flame Alchemist was doing. Oh, it was obvious. He was sniffing for information like the dog that he was. He couldn't blame his stupid secretary for falling for those looks. She was just as weak as all the other women who fell for Mustang's charismatic nature. Riza was the same and that bothered him more than anything else. That Riza – a highly respected Lieutenant and sharp shooter, the _Hawk's Eye_ would fall for the charms of someone as frivolous and shameless as Mustang while rejecting him – a real man, a _General_ was absolutely infuriating.

He had seen the way Cassandra had gazed up at Mustang and the way she had clung to his arm when he had escorted her to his car. She had looked like a bitch in heat and Mustang was every bit the dog. But that was okay. He could have the whore if he so desired. She wasn't the real prize in this any way. She was a toy, a way to rid himself of his frustrations. As broken as she was, he knew Mustang's little plan wouldn't work.

She would be too terrified to utter even a word against him.

'So, you like to play games, do you?' Kaiser's lips twisted in a cruel smile. 'Two can play that way.'


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note: Important, please read!** Firstly, I am so sorry for the huge delay in updating. A common cold turned into a full-blown chest infection, complete with fever. This would have been bad enough hadn't I not had to deal with a part time job and those pesky uni assignments. I'm still not 100% but I feel the worst of it has passed and it has allowed me to catch up.

The next update will be on **8th January** and it will progress from there, with me updating each Sunday as before.

Thank you for your patience, the PMs and your continued interest in this story. I hope you have all had happy holidays and wish you the best for this new year.

Coming Undone

Cassandra Jenkins had found herself trapped in a nightmare.

She had moved to Central a year ago, and her life had been pleasant to begin with. She had found herself a lovely apartment in the older part of the city – a quaint little square consisting of small boutiques, a florist, and a bakery. She had made a few friends and had settled into her role well as General Bradshaw's secretary. He had been a little abrupt, sometimes gruff – but had treated her well enough. A mere three months later, he had moved to East City. Thus, she had been transferred to a different office – that of General Kaiser.

Cassandra was aware that men found her attractive. She had grown accustomed to receiving compliments by men intent on pursuing her, not to mention being stared at. On rare occasions, she would accept their invitations – if they seemed genuine and respectable enough. The catcalls and sexually degrading comments went ignored. She had learned to be selective about her hearing and after a while, it all just became a blur of leering faces, a babble of voices.

General Kaiser had been different.

Of course, he'd given her the stare down when she had first reported to him to begin her new role in his office. He had looked her up and down as though she had been a piece of meat, before dismissing her to her desk. He hadn't shown much interest in her and their contact had been minimal at best, with him barking orders whenever he wanted her to do something. For Cassandra, this was more favourable than the usual attention she received from men.

All that had changed a couple of months back, however.

Late afternoon, they had been alone in the office. She had been gathering up the paperwork on her desk, ready to file it away. As she moved back and forth between her desk and the filing system across the office, she could feel his gaze on her. He had been sat at his desk, watching her in silence. The intensity of his stare had made her uncomfortable. She had stopped to look at him questioningly – but he hadn't reacted in the slightest, the silence had simply stretched on. She had been too afraid to voice her concerns.

The attack had come from nowhere. It had been shocking because there had been no indication of his sexual intent towards her. She hadn't even heard him approach her, until she had felt his hot breath on the back of her neck. Suddenly, he had her gasping in surprise as he pressed himself up against her from behind. His hands had eagerly clutched at her breasts, trying to tear away the uniform from her body. He had forced her down to the floor with ease, his body covering hers, trapping it.

She had squirmed against him, her legs kicking the air uselessly. She had cried and pleaded with him to stop, only to be ignored. In fact, he had remained eerily silent throughout the entire ordeal. She had been chilled to the core when she had gazed into his eyes as he had thrusted into her. There had been nothing in those cold grey depths that could resemble anything human.

It was as though he had been possessed.

That had been the first time he had raped her. She had been left sobbing and broken, feeling utterly alone because whom could she ever confide in? Whom would have ever believed her? She hadn't been able to do anything other than limp home and cry herself to sleep that night, plagued with shame and terror. The next day, he hadn't looked twice at her – as though nothing out of the ordinary had occurred the day before.

It had happened twice more – on these occasions, she had been bent over his desk. Each of the attacks had come without warning. At times, he had ridiculed her, berated her but when it came down to the act – he had remained silent, lost in his own dark thoughts. She had often wondered whether he even realised she was there, lying beneath him, crying into her hands.

It seemed he used her to vent his frustrations rather than for any real pleasure. When he came, it was always with a grunt or a growl – sounding annoyed, but appearing satiated for the time being. Every single time she turned to face him, he always had his eyes firmly closed. She wondered whether he had been using her as a mere substitute in place of someone else. And if that was the case, then she felt sorry for that poor woman – the source of the General's violent desire.

General Kaiser was a monster – she wouldn't wish him upon anyone.

What was worrying was that he was consistent in his inconsistencies. She never knew when he would come down on her. She could predict the actions of most men – they were easy to read, the desire heavy in their eyes. The General's mercurial nature made her nervous. She never knew when an attack was coming or what he was thinking behind that grey stare.

The latest incident had happened just recently. She had finished her work for the day and had been in the process of gathering her coat and bag when the General had stormed in. This time, it had been different. He hadn't been mentally absent, just going through the motions. He had been furious.

She had complied when he had forced her down on her knees for fear of his grip crushing her shoulders. He had wasted no time in unzipping his pants and forcing himself down her throat. She had gagged and struggled, only for him to grip her hair tightly, yanking her back to him each time she had tried to pull away.

After what had seemed like an eternity, spent choking and struggling for breath, she had felt him ejaculate – all hot and heavy – into her mouth. He had released her then and she had crawled away from him, trying not to vomit on to the carpet.

She had spent the next hour in the ladies' room, locked in a stall. Fortunately, she hadn't eaten much that day, saving her from emptying the contents of her stomach. She had spent a painful twenty minutes or so, bent over the toilet bowl, dry heaving in painful gasps. She had been left with red knees, an aching jaw, and an awful taste in her mouth.

When she had finally emerged from the ladies' room, she had run into Colonel Mustang. Not even the sweetness of the tea had been able to mask that bitter, salty taste at the back of her throat. Despite the tea being hot, she had taken large swallows, wanting the scalding liquid to burn off her taste buds.

Even now, the memory still managed to make her want to heave.

'You seem miles away.' Roy commented, observing her carefully with his dark eyes.

'Oh.' Cassandra blinked, flushing in embarrassment. 'I'm sorry, sir. Did I miss something?'

They were sitting at a small table in a quiet bar. She wasn't too fond of the rowdier places in Central – the ones military personnel liked to frequent. This one was tucked away in a narrow side street – a tiny place with a handful of patrons, peacefully drinking and chatting.

'Not at all. And please, we're out of the office. Call me Roy.' He replied, taking a sip of scotch from his tumbler. 'You look as though you're about to make a run for it.'

'Oh no!' She said aghast, flushing again which caused him to smirk. 'I'm just … thinking about work.' She admitted, her hands nervously playing with the wine glass in front of her.

'I'm listening.' He prompted, reaching out to steady her fluttering hands. His grip was firm yet light, his touch sending a warmth through her. She stopped fidgeting and took a deep breath, giving him a small smile.

Roy's earnest gaze and gentle tone surprised her. It reminded her of the evening before when she had stumbled into him. He had seemed genuinely concerned about her then as well. He had taken the time to ensure she was okay before driving her home. The gesture was sweet and kind – something she had never expected from a man like Roy Mustang

She had been hesitant, almost afraid of him in the beginning. His reputation as a ladies' man hadn't escaped her. She knew he liked to play around. She had heard the stories about him – how he wined and dined different women whenever he pleased. She had witnessed other women sighing and cooing over him, with smiling faces and love struck gazes. Truth be told, she would have very well been one of those women once upon a time.

She wouldn't have displayed her feelings quite so blatantly, of course – she was far too reserved for that. Instead, she would have harboured her crush in her own little way – watching him from afar, thinking about him during those quieter afternoons when there was a lull in her workload. Maybe sending him a shy smile across the canteen, imagining what he would be like on a date and whether those hands – that could conjure fire with just a flick of the fingers – could be gentle as they were destructive.

Had she not been abused and terrorized by General Kaiser, the prospect of being alone with him, sipping on wine at some bar would had titillated her to no end. But this was different. The fact was, she _had_ been thoroughly abused and hurt. She felt vulnerable and afraid – the very last thing she needed was to be out with another man, much less one with Mustang's reputation.

This wasn't a social meeting despite the setting and the pretences. She wasn't some woman out to tame the stallion as many others had attempted to do in vain. She couldn't bear to be touched or stared at. But there had been something about Roy Mustang which had softened her to the point where she could feel herself lowering her guard. There was something about him that made her feel that he knew far more than he let on and in some way – and for whatever reason, was trying to help her.

She just couldn't think why.

They had been idly chatting away for the last hour or so. At no point during the evening or in fact, during any of their previous encounters, had he made her feel uncomfortable in any way. He hadn't made any crude remarks, looked at her lecherously or made excuses to touch her without reason. His reputation didn't quite match the man who sat opposite her. On the contrary, he had been nothing short of a gentleman – accepting her reluctance to readily divulge information graciously enough, appearing charmed by her shyness and making her feel more comfortable by talking about his own life in a way that seemed almost intimate.

Of course, he had flirted with her. His teasing was gentle and his smile showed sincerity as he coaxed her to the point where she was blushing and giggling, despite herself. There was nothing vulgar or forceful about the way he interacted with her. His warm gaze and kindly, attentive nature made something deep inside her flutter – _butterflies,_ she suddenly thought. So, that's what it felt like. She could understand why so many women fell for him.

It was a shame the conversation had now turned.

'… I was thinking that a change would do me good.' Cassandra looked at him intently, despite the faint blush still lingering on her cheeks from his earlier teasing. She hoped he would get the message.

'I see.' Roy pretended to ponder but she knew he already had the answer. 'A change in role or office?'

'Does it matter?' She blinked up at him. She hadn't considered the technicalities.

'A change in role would be a much simpler process. A change in office would require both a valid reason and authorisation from your current commanding officer.' Roy explained, a dark look crossing his features as though an unpleasant memory had suddenly resurfaced.

Cassandra vaguely recalled something about a transfer concerning his Lieutenant a little while back. She didn't know the full story and didn't feel it was her business to ask.

'You would need to explain why you would like to continuing doing the same role but for a different commanding officer. The likelihood of success is virtually non-existent if you are unable to obtain authorisation.' Roy continued, quirking an eyebrow at her questioningly. 'Unless you have a _very_ good reason?'

This was her cue to reveal the secret, but her lips remained firmly sealed.

Cassandra took a sip of wine, mulling over his words. A very good reason meant physical or emotional abuse, right? But proof would be required, surely? And it's not as though she could undress herself in front of the council and show them her battered body. If the humiliation and discomfort didn't kill her, then the General would more than likely finish the job.

'I wouldn't be surprised if you have your grievances against General Kaiser.' Roy continued, leaning towards her over the table, his tone hushed. 'I sure as hell have mine.'

'I preferred General Bradshaw – ' Cassandra began to reply, neutrally. But something made her stop short.

It was the look in his eyes as well as his own admission. They had common ground. They both disliked Trent Kaiser for reasons neither were willing to share just yet. It didn't have be spelled out word for word. She could see the dark shadows in his eyes, a slight curl of the lip as the General's name was uttered with distaste. And of course, he too had seen the signs. He had witnessed her less than a couple of hours after she had been shaken to her core.

He was a smart man – no doubt, he had figured it out. But he was too decent to say it outright, to mouth assumptions. She was grateful for the approach he took. Grateful that he was delicately tracing his way around the situation rather than bulldozing his way right to the heart of it. The latter would have had her scurrying away from him as fast as she could. And she knew that he was astute enough to realise that.

Cassandra felt her shoulder sag in relief. He was trying to help her. For reasons, unbeknownst to her, she had found herself a powerful ally. She felt better for it – now that she finally had someone in her corner, someone who could sense that something was amiss. Although he had gently prodded, Roy hadn't pushed her into revealing anything and she was grateful for that. With his rank, he could have ordered her to talk and yet, he hadn't.

It was plain to see why Roy Mustang had been awarded the title of Colonel at a young age – he exuded authority and confidence, a natural leader. It may not have been common knowledge but he possessed a type of kindness that was a rarity among men in his position. And for the dozenth time, Cassandra found herself wishing if only she had been put under his command.

Things would have been so very different.

'What can I do?' She wouldn't bare her soul – her secrets were too shameful but she would gladly accept his help.

'Let's start by removing you from your current situation.' Roy began, giving her a conspiratorial smirk.

* * *

Sunday found Riza standing at the front door of Roy's small house. She was painfully aware of the fact that she was in plain view of his neighbours, not to mention the entire street. Any one of them could be looking at her right now. She glanced around surreptitiously, watching out for twitching curtains but found nothing. She was being paranoid. She willed herself to knock. It would look suspicious if she walked away now. After all, she _had_ been standing there for a few minutes already.

Nothing about her appearance indicated that this visit was for business purposes. For a start, it was late morning and she was dressed in civilian clothing. She had worn her hair down and it hung past her shoulders in loose waves, giving her a softer look. Her jacket was thin – inadequate against the cold. Her scarf and gloves offered little compensation. She needed to return to her apartment soon, if only to retrieve her coat.

Her apprehension was partly due to being caught on the doorstep of her commanding officer but mostly for the reaction she would receive, the pain she would inevitably cause him. She hoped he would be angry rather than heartbroken. She could deal with his anger even if that hurt her. What she couldn't handle was seeing the pain in his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, she knocked on his door. Nothing happened for a for a few moments and she found herself hoping he wasn't home. It would give her another reason to delay this, to pretend for a while longer that it didn't have to be like this. Her ears picked up the sound of footsteps from the other side and the door opened before she could turn away and abandon her plan.

'Lieutenant Hawkeye, what a pleasant surprise.' Roy smiled, greeting her with his usual air of formality. If her sudden visit had surprised him, he certainly didn't show it.

'I apologise for the intrusion, sir.' Riza replied, her tone steady and clear, betraying nothing of the turmoil bubbling away inside her. 'I was hoping we could have a quick talk – if it's no trouble?'

'It's no trouble at all, Lieutenant.' Despite his professional tone, Riza could detect that playfulness in his voice, the mirth in his gaze. It was a subtle change – something only she would notice. 'Please come inside.'

With a heavy heart, she stepped inside – welcomed by the warmth, which eased away her shivers from the cold outside. Once the door was firmly closed, Roy led her down a narrow hallway and into his living room. It was small but seemed spacious enough, due to the strategically placed furniture.

The room had a comforting scent – coffee and burned toast. There was a newspaper on the coffee table, accompanied by a mug and a pile of unopened letters. She could see a stack of books on the floor, within easy reach of the sofa as though he had spent this morning reading. Roy was dressed simply, in a pair of black slacks and a white shirt. The buttons were lazily done, leaving the shirt open at the throat. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, giving him a casual appearance.

'You must be freezing.' Roy drew closer to her, pulling off her gloves.

Riza stood there, wordlessly and watched as he took her hands in his and rubbed warmth back into them. The feeling returned to her cramped fingers and she sighed softly before gently removing her hands from his.

Undeterred, Roy carefully unwound her scarf from her neck, taking his time to allow his fingers to teasingly dance across her throat. Riza fought the urge to shiver but this time it had nothing to do with the temperature outside.

The domesticity struck her once more. She could imagine them living together, imagine him tenderly removing her coat for her when she came home to him, rubbing warmth back into her body when the temperature plummeted outside. She could imagine spending quiet evenings with him, curled up on the couch, talking softly to one another or just quietly reading. They would prepare meals together, spend each night together. She would never have to sleep alone, never have to awaken from a bad dream to find herself alone.

But this kind of thinking was destructive, not just for her mind but for her heart as well. She needed to keep it locked away, along with that fantasy of having a house in the country and children. Dreams like that wouldn't help her. They would just make things harder for her. Sometimes being strong was accepting there were things you simply couldn't have no matter how much you yearned for them. Being strong meant ensuring the safety of those you love and placing that before your own happiness.

Riza's prospects of finding someone to settle down with were cut short drastically by her scarred back. How could she ever explain that? It's not as though she could keep it covered for the entirety of her marriage. At least Roy had a chance at happiness. In time, he would forget about her. At the very least she would be his Lieutenant and at the most, an old friend. Eventually, he would find someone else and settle down and _this_ – what they were going through right now, would become a distant memory. Something for them both to think about during those quiet, late nights when nostalgia happened to strike.

Yes, she was doing the right thing.

'Have a seat, Riza.' Roy's voice pulled her away from her thoughts. His hand was warm on her arm. She could feel the heat radiating from it through the thin material of her jacket. 'Let me get you a drink.'

'No. I can't stay for long.' The words were out before she could stop herself. She had to be quick. If she allowed him to draw her in, she wouldn't be able to get herself to leave so easily. She could see the disappointment and concern in his eyes as he watched her move away from him.

'You came here for a reason.' Roy acknowledged. 'What's the matter?'

'This … needs to stop.' Aside from the slight hesitation, her voice was firm. 'We can't do this anymore.'

'This?' Not angry, but perplexed. She could tell he knew exactly what she meant but he didn't want to accept the truth so easily.

'Us.' Riza clarified. If nothing else, she had to make this very clear. 'We need to finish it. Now.'

Silence.

Roy didn't answer right away. He seemed deep in thought, watching her intently. Riza tried to gauge his reaction, observing him keenly to see whether she could identify any signs as to what he could possibly be thinking or feeling. She had always been so very skilled at being able to read him. In all their lives, there had only been a handful of times when she had gazed into his eyes and had come up empty. Unfortunately, this was one of those times.

'Do you still love me?' Roy finally asked, quietly.

'Of course, I do!' Riza's shot back, vehemently. 'That will never ch– umph!'

Her muffled words quickly turned into a surprised yelp. Roy had closed the distance between them in two quick strides, wasting no time in meeting her lips with his own in a hard kiss. Riza found herself gasping as she was pressed tightly against his chest, his arms wrapping themselves around her, keeping her close.

In that instant, Riza's mind had stopped working, her body overrun with sensations ignited by his kiss and the closeness of his body. Her lips parted instinctively to allow him access, greeting him with her tongue as he eagerly entered her mouth. She reached up for him, her fingers slipping into his hair until she was fisting her hands through it and tugging gently. That earned her a growl from Roy in response, his arms tightening around her until she felt crushed against his chest.

She couldn't think of anywhere she would rather be.

That intensity was back again, reminiscent of the night after their stake-out. She could almost taste the desperation on the tip of his tongue. He tasted of coffee and sweetness and she found herself moaning softly into her mouth, feeling warmer and warmer – her body tingling as though she was on the verge of melting right into his scorching embrace.

This was not what she had come here to do.

Her mind kicked into drive – she had to end this. Draw the line and keep him firmly on the other side and away from her for his own wellbeing. She couldn't risk them being found out, especially now. If that were to ever happen, he would pay the price far more dearly than she ever would. It wasn't fair to keep this going because Roy didn't know that they had already been found out and by none other than General Kaiser – a man who seemed to take great pleasure in cruelly toying with others for his own amusement.

And she couldn't tell him this because then, he would want to know how it had happened. They had been so discreet at work, after all.

Riza nipped at his lower lip and tightened her grip on his hair – a firm indication to bring the kiss to a close. She heard him make an appreciative noise deep in his throat, clearly enjoying the rough treatment but he complied well enough. He released his hold on her, stepping back to give her room to breathe.

Riza felt as though she had been dropped from a whirlwind. She blinked up at him, fully aware of her flushed cheeks and dishevelled appearance. Taking deep breaths to get some air back in her lungs, she gazed back at him. He was breathing hard as well. She had managed to mess up his hair spectacularly and if the circumstances had been different, she would have found herself laughing. He had that dark brooding look on his features again, seemingly caught somewhere between devastation and anger.

'Why the sudden change of heart?' His voice sounded husky from the kiss – and no wonder. It had lasted until the need for oxygen had become almost painful.

Riza hesitated – what could she say?

There were a lot of reasons she could give him – _valid_ reasons. She could tell him that this wasn't safe, it was stupid and that one of these days they would get caught. It was against military regulations and if discovered, they would lose all that they had worked so hard to achieve together. If caught, they would be separated, not to mention subjected to a disciplinary. And most importantly, they were jeopardizing his chances of becoming furher one day.

Hadn't that been that the dream all along? To finally take charge of the country and change it for the better?

But she knew – she _knew_ , he would find a good argument for each one of her reasons.

Roy Mustang was an infuriatingly, persuasive man.

She knew that to quell any dispute that Roy may challenge her with, she had to give him a reason he couldn't possibly argue with. She had to find something that he held unspoken deep with him, something he would never admit to otherwise, in fear of voicing what truly bothered him when it came to her, when it came to them.

Sometimes Riza wished she couldn't read him as well as she could.

She knew what hurt him the most, the source of his guilt, what he questioned himself over but never really talked to her about. And it was this very reasoning she would need to use to severe the hope that they could continue to be together like this. She would need to take his weakness and use it against him.

'I realised I want something more.' Riza said simply. 'More than what you can offer me.'

'I can give you everything that I am, Riza.' Roy gazed back at her, his eyes showing their sincerity. The inflection in his tone conveyed both sadness and determination. He moved closer to her and cupped her face with his hand, stroking her cheek tenderly with this thumb. 'I have never devoted myself to another woman as I have with you.'

These were the words she had wanted to hear all along and now that he was finally saying them, it was too late. She couldn't afford to break down in front of him, not now. She had to remain strong – make her point, then leave.

'It's not enough.' Bringing her own hand up, she allowed it to rest upon his for a few seconds too long, her fingers curled around his wrist before gently removing his hand from her cheek. She stepped back to allow some room between them. Having him so close would only affect her by weakening her resolve.

'I'm tired of sneaking around.' Riza began, firmly. 'Of being able to only be with you behind closed doors. I need more. I need to be with someone who isn't afraid to be seen out with me.'

That last point especially had been a cheap shot. She could tell her words had devastated him. His eyes had grown darker, subdued with creeping shadows to conceal the hurt. She could practically feel his defences gradually kicking in.

'Don't.' As only he could deliver, that one word conveyed a multitude of emotions.

This was it – deep breath. She had to make this count.

'I don't want to be your dirty little secret.' Riza stood up straighter, adopting her usual military stance. 'I'm sorry, sir. This is inappropriate.'

She found herself clenching her fists, relishing the way her nails dug into her palm. She needed to concentrate on that pain instead of her own breaking heart. She needed to ground herself to reality – and _this_ was her reality. She needed to let him go, remove him from her personal life before Kaiser could look to do any more damage.

If for whatever sick reason, Kaiser sought her destruction – be it mentally, emotionally, or physically, then so be it. That was her battle to fight and hers alone. She would be damned if she allowed him to drag Roy along with her. To sully his name and what for purpose? Jealously? Revenge? She had to make it so that the Colonel wasn't even a factor in the messed-up relationship that existed in the General's mind where she was concerned. And the only way to do that was to sever the thread between them before it was too late.

'That's not what … You were never–' Roy looked as though she had physically slapped him. She had never seen him look so bewildered, so hurt.

'I think it would best if we finished this right here.' Riza interrupted, clenching her fist tighter. She could feel a lump forming in her throat. She needed to say the next words and leave before it threatened to choke her. 'This doesn't change our working relationship, of course. As promised, I will stand by you and do everything I can to help you achieve your dreams.'

She was already gathering up her things – hastily wrapping the scarf around her next and shoving the gloves into her bag rather than putting them on. She needed to leave immediately – before she collapsed into his arms. She couldn't allow him to see that this was the last thing she wanted to do. Riza quickly walked towards the front door, suddenly desperate to feel that cold wind on her burning cheeks. She had almost made it, when his voice stopped her.

'Is there someone else?'

The words were spoken quietly, calmly. Judging from the sound of his voice, he hadn't moved from the spot where she had left him. He hadn't attempted to follow her. Despite herself, Riza glanced back at him – an action she would come to regret.

Never had she seen him look so defeated.

She had to tell him, reassure him – that no other man could ever hope to take his place. But the words wouldn't come. The lump in her throat was growing bigger as she blinked back her tears – she could not let them fall now. She took a moment to remind herself why she was doing this.

She was keeping her promise. Even though it meant hurting him right now, ultimately, she was protecting him. His pain would be brief – almost fleeting when one looked at the bigger picture. If Kaiser made their relationship public out of sheer pettiness, it would decimate any chance of progressing up the ranks and to the top.

It was better this way.

'Goodbye, Roy.' She couldn't say anything further – even those few words had been a struggle.

Riza opened the door, carefully arranging her features into a neutral expression as she stepped outside. After closing the door behind her, she didn't allow herself to hesitate. She walked briskly down the street, her eyes still holding on to their tears. She couldn't go back to Havoc's apartment – not in her current state and she didn't want to return to her own just yet. But she needed some place to go, somewhere where she could allow herself the time to freely feel what she had kept locked up within her. If she kept it bottled up, it would eventually choke her.

It was bitterly cold and thankfully the streets weren't crowded. She passed by coffee shops and considered venturing in and finding herself a quiet table in the corner. A chance to have a break and process everything, maybe even have a cup of tea to soothe her frayed nerves but each establishment seemed to be full of happy families, laughing and fussing over their children and loved-up couples, whispering to each other and holding hands. She would never begrudge the happiness of others even on her darkest day, but right now, looking at their smiling faces made her heart clench painfully.

After a quarter of an hour of brisk walking, Riza had found herself in a quieter part of the city. Slipping down a narrow, side street, she walked further along until the sounds from the main road become muffled – lives passing along without her. Exhaling hard, she doubled over, resting her hands on her knees as the realization of what she had just done hit her, hard.

She had pushed him away and in doing so, hurt him in the worst possible way. She had taken advantage of the fact that she could read his fears as easily as though they were hers – and used them as an excuse as to why she didn't want to be with him. It was one of the worst things she had ever done.

The resolve that had held her tears back finally collapsed and she found herself crying – her sobs wracking through her body, echoing in that empty alleyway. She could barely breathe. Clutching at her scarf, she frantically unwound it from her neck. There was a sharp, stabbing pain in her chest making each breath laborious. Staggering over to the back entrance of an out of business restaurant, she sank down to sit on the cold step of its doorway. Cradling her head in her hands, she willed herself to take deep breaths and calm down.

A numbness slowly spread through her body, swallowing all her physical discomforts – her icy fingers, the wetness of the damp step through the thin fabric of her long skirt, her stinging eyes against the biting wind. She could almost forget about the cold. What she couldn't ignore was the maelstrom inside her – her thundering heart churning up anger and bitterness in waves, so potent that she could almost taste it.

Her fists clenched.

If General Kaiser ever put her in a position where she had to act in self-defence, then she would shoot him. She would gladly take the shot and this time, she would not miss. She would aim straight for his heart and she would kill him. Her grim determination filled her with a strength she didn't think she could possess at that moment. Rising to her feet, she carefully wrapped her scarf back around her neck and straightened up her clothing. Monday would bring forth another minefield and if the good General decided to make a move then she would be ready for him.

The moment he laid his hands on her, he would be signing his own death warrant.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note:** My chapters range from 3,000 to 6,000 words. This is 7,023 words - longest one yet! I have had a good hard think and ended up changing how the future chapters are going to work out. Chapter 17 was all but rewritten. I think I like this ending better. We're in the final stages now folks!

Coming Undone.

Stupidly early mornings were swiftly becoming a part of his daily routine. Given everything that had occurred as of late, it was far more prudent to be productive rather than drinking oneself into a stupor, especially when sleep became elusive and thoughts turned obsessive. It was still dark when Roy Mustang entered the building of Central Command on Monday morning. Although freshly showered and dressed, he felt as though he had crawled to get there that morning. As suspected, the building was deserted and he was able to make his way to his office, thoughts uninterrupted.

He should have known something was wrong when Riza had brushed him off in the office. The scene from Sunday morning was still fresh in his mind. If he closed his eyes, he could see her face – pretty but forlorn. He had felt her resistance even as her body had succumbed to him during that kiss. She had been conflicted and was it any wonder when the boundaries between them were anything but clear? Upon the surface, they played their respective parts of commanding officer and subordinate but beneath those titles their relationship stretched all the way back into childhood.

They were entangled in each other, undeniably so. He loved her the way she loved him, unconditionally. They had spent the later part of their childhood talking about their hopes and dreams. They had spent hours making plans – plans, which they had been forced to push back because he had so desperately wanted to be in a position where he could make the country a better place to live.

She had trusted him wholeheartedly, revealing to him the secrets tattooed on her back and he had let her down by using the very Flame Alchemy that had been created to help people as a weapon during the war and still – not only had she forgiven him, she had followed him down that same path of destruction herself. Because of him, she had blood on her hands and the ghosts of Ishval following her in her dreams.

After all that had happened, she continued to stand by his side and watch over him. She could read him remarkably well – silently evaluating his feelings by a single glance. There had been times when she had had acted upon his wishes mere moments before he had even given the order, so in tune was she to the beatings of his heart and the workings of his mind. He only wished he could do the same, however Riza tended to keep her cards close to her chest. She had done so from an early age.

Roy knew he had her heart, the way she had his – but there was always a part of him that felt guilty about it. While they continued to work together as commanding officer and subordinate – they couldn't open have a relationship. He couldn't court her or even marry her as it was against military regulations. She refused to leave the military, shackled by the promise she had made all those years ago to watch his back while he worked towards his own goal of becoming fuhrer. And for that very same reason, she also refused to be moved to a different commanding officer.

Roy was particularly grateful of the latter. He didn't doubt that Riza could take care of herself, however, he didn't trust another commanding officer to display the same courtesy she would give him. He knew there were others out there – Colonels and Generals alike who cared little for their teams. He would rather have her with him, knowing she was safe.

He was aware that he was keeping her from living her life as fully as she could. She was beautiful – she could have easily had any man she desired. She deserved to live her life freely and without fear. Instead she was waiting for him – waiting for the day when he became fuhrer and abolished the fraternization law. That could take years and in the meantime, she had seemed content to wait for him. He had never seen her out with another man aside from that night at the bar when she had left with the General.

Despite their closeness, Roy had never asked her if she had dated another man during those years which they had spent on their own – when the line drawn between them and their roles had been painfully clear. Had she been out with other men during those years? Had she been intimate with anyone aside from him? It was unfair to expect this of her – she was a grown woman, after all. He couldn't blame her for seeking warmth and comfort from another man. He had certainly done the same when the loneliness had become too much to bear. Despite that however, the thought of Riza being intimate with another man filled him with jealousy.

He wanted her for himself – she belonged _with_ him. He had promised her father that he would take care of her. And so, he had pushed down that guilt deep inside him, never questioning it out aloud but always allowing it to tear him up on the inside when he considered how much he had taken from her. She was trapped – chained to him, by the alchemic array and the scars on her back whether she liked it or not. She couldn't allow anyone to see it and therefore could never have a normal relationship with anyone else. Even if some man did happen to glimpse her back, there would always be secrets – something to keep them at a distance.

Roy longed for nothing more than to take her out – have her on his arm for the world to see. To be able to embrace her and kiss her in public. He wanted to wine and dine her, court her as a gentleman should. He wanted to marry her and build a life and family with her. But instead, they were forced to sneak around, stealing kisses, and having whispered conversations behind closed doors.

He had thought about letting her go but he had been too weak. It wasn't fair to keep her for himself. She deserved so much more. It wasn't right to expect her to wait for him especially when becoming fuhrer could take years. They would be much older then, perhaps, too old to have children. How could he expect her to wait for so long? How could he expect her to remain as she was – never having a normal relationship? How could he expect her to be satisfied with only the bare bones of a relationship with him?

He understood why she wanted to leave him – military regulations, aside. It was completely understandable for her to want more. What had hurt was the way she had said it. She had referred to herself as some dirty little secret. It had troubled him to think that was what she believed herself to be. Did she honestly think that was what she was? He cared for her deeply. She was more than just some fun to be had on the sly. His damned reputation aside, surely, she believed his intentions to be genuine when it came to her?

He shouldn't have let her leave without telling her so. He should have ensured that she knew exactly how he felt about her before she walked out of his life as _Riza_ – his best friend and childhood sweetheart, his lover, and his conscience. She was his future wife and the mother of his children. And now she had walked out of his life, only to return as nothing more than his Lieutenant. Her reasons had left him floored and he hadn't been able to utter even a word that could explain just how much she meant to him.

Hanging up his overcoat, Roy stalked over to the coffee machine and prepared a pot. As he waited for it to brew, he rubbed his temples wearily – he could feel the beginnings of a headache slowly creeping up. He had to get a handle on himself. Turn things around and get to work. He couldn't afford to dwell on his own dark thoughts. Not right now, anyway – there were too many things he needed to do. As for Riza?

He would let her be for the time being. He had no right to question her especially when she had made her feelings perfectly clear. The obvious reasons aside, she had given him a very good personal reason and he could never fault her for that. She had been strong enough to do what he should have done himself years ago. It made perfect sense for Riza to start feeling this way – wanting more, needing more than what he could hope to give her. As long as they wore their badges and uniform, their hands were tied. It would either have to be a ghost of a relationship or nothing at all between them. And he couldn't blame her for wanting more. Why then, did it continue to bother him?

Why did something feel so very wrong?

* * *

When Riza arrived into the office that morning, she was surprised to see the Colonel engrossed in his work. The paperwork strewn across his desk, along with the files stacked on the floor near his chair and the empty coffee cups indicated that he had been at it for quite some time. What was strange was that they had completed all their paperwork last week. She had checked the in tray on her way in and it had stood satisfying empty which meant no new load had come in.

So what was he working on so intently?

She refrained from asking what he was doing and instead quietly wished him a good morning – if only to make him aware of her presence. Her voice seemed to rouse him from his thoughts and he looked up with a start, his eyes softening slightly when they settled on her. It was the most fleeting of looks before his usual bored expression settled on to his features. He was deliberately keeping his expression unreadable.

'Good morning, Lieutenant.' Roy returned the greeting after a slight pause, his tone conveying nothing at all.

The day passed slowly. It was clear from the Colonel's reluctance to engage that he wasn't in the best of moods. For the most part, he seemed preoccupied – popping in and out of the office as though he was working on his own discreet project. The rest of the team sensed the tone and were subdued – lazily finishing up on the trickle of paperwork that came through.

Riza kept her mind firmly on her work taking her time to complete each one thoroughly – anything to keep her mind occupied and her gaze glued to the paperwork in front of her. She usually didn't mind the silence, preferred it in most cases however, today, it was almost deafening. Across the room, she saw Breda slip a note to Havoc – whom upon reading it, locked gazes with Breda and pulled a face. They both tried to hold back their sniggers.

Riza frowned.

* * *

'Soooo, anyone bringing dates to the Military Ball?' Breda asked.

The Colonel had once again stepped out and the mood in the office had considerably lightened. Talk once again, had turned to the annual ball that was fast approaching. Riza had barely had time to think about it in the last week. The last thing she wanted to do was attend and she had a feeling that the Colonel would share her sentiments. However, it was easier said than done – especially when it came to the others.

'Nope. Flying solo.' Fuery replied – and then became worried. 'I'm not the only one, right?'

'Nah, you can be my wingman.' Breda gave him a friendly slap across the back. 'What about you, lover boy?' He teased, glancing at Havoc.

'I'm working on it.' Havoc replied snappily.

'I don't think I want to bring my wife to this.' Falman calmly said, giving Havoc a suspicious sideway look.

They continued with their usual chatter, asking Riza questions every now and then. She replied patiently enough and glared them into silence when the questions became absurd. She didn't stop their teasing though. It was good to hear them behaving like boys as usual. It almost brought a smile to her lips. She let them continue, only half listening as she carefully checked through her document.

'What's up with the Colonel?' Furey asked tentatively

The question was enough to catch Riza's interest once again. She remained silent, however.

'Beats me.' Breda shrugged, stretching, and leaning back in his chair. 'Dunno why he's being such a grouch. I heard he got lucky over the weekend.'

'So, what else is new?' Havoc crumpled up a sheet of paper and tossed it expertly into the bin from across the room.

'He managed to snare Cassandra!' Breda said. 'Captain Harris saw them in some bar, having drinks and getting real cosy. She's General Kaiser's secretary – the one with the killer legs.' Breda went on to explain due to both Falman and Furey's blank looks.

Riza froze – something heavy sinking to the pit of her stomach. The Colonel had gone out with Cassandra? General _Kaiser's_ secretary? Leaving aside the sense of betrayal for the moment, she couldn't help but think how complicated, how incredibly _messy_ this made their office lives. The man she loved was dating the secretary of the man who had attacked her. It was enough to make her feel sick.

Falman tutted and went to make some tea.

'Cassie! No way!' Havoc grimaced, tugging his hands through his hair. 'I was planning on asking her to be my date for the ball!'

'You say that about every girl.' Fuery interjected.

'And besides,' Breda grinned evilly. 'Why would she want a donkey when she can have a stallion?'

'Okay, I get the horse jokes when it comes to the Colonel.' Havoc held up his hand. 'BUT WHY ARE YOU COMPARING ME TO A DONKEY?!'

'What is going _on_ in here?' The Colonel demanded, looking annoyed.

Unfortunately, he had stepped into the office just in time to catch Havoc's last statement. He didn't look all too pleased with the yelling. Stalking into the office, he glowered at Havoc.

'Anything you wish to say, Second Lieutenant Havoc?'

'No, sir.' Havoc replied.

Havoc quickly reached for the next file and the others followed suit – some semblance of order descending upon them once again. Satisfied, Roy went to his desk and sat down. Riza hadn't looked at the Colonel the entire time. Her gaze had been trained on the paperwork in front of her. She didn't think she could look at him what with the information she had just learned. Try as she might, she wouldn't be able to keep the hurt and shock from her face. She bit her lip as she corrected something on her sheet.

Sometimes, it was better to feel nothing at all.

* * *

'Getting tired of me yet?' Havoc grinned at Riza.

They were sitting comfortably on the couch in his apartment, eating dinner on Tuesday evening. Havoc had taken it upon himself to cook and Riza had seemed suitably impressed when he had presented her with a bowl of hearty stew – hot and deliciously fragrant. He wasn't too shabby a cook and he was glad he could show her there was more to that handsome face of his.

'I really should go before I wear out my welcome.' Riza replied, diplomatically.

'In other words, you can't wait to get out of her and I'm annoying the shit out of you.' Havoc laughed.

'Well, I do miss my baths.' Riza smiled admittedly. 'You only have a shower here. And you haven't annoyed me.'

It was hard to believe it had only been a little while ago when she had collapsed into his arms, a sobbing wreck. Over the days, while she had stayed with him, he had watched her grow stronger. It wasn't obvious by any means. It was more of subtle change and anyone who hadn't been observing her quite so closely would have missed it.

Riza possessed a quiet strength that he had always admired. Gradually, her tentative actions became more assured, her hesitant steps, more firm when hitting the ground. Her soft voice now left no room for arguments and her eyes – so hauntingly deep and emotionless and recovered their sparkle, highlighting that look of gentle amusement she wore, even when she was chastising them for making too much noise in the office.

The change had been gradual, yes, but never had he felt so sure that she was okay – _really_ okay until that previous Sunday. She hadn't told him where she had been all morning and he hadn't asked. The difference in her had been monumental when she had come back. He could see the straightness in her back, the way she held her shoulders back, her head up – the grim determination in her iron gaze.

His Lieutenant was back – and she meant business.

The fact that she had cleaned her pistols – all seven of them that very same day, only confirmed his assumptions. Whatever had happened that morning, had done the trick. He didn't ask her any more questions. It would have had to be something personal to make her rise above what had been done to her.

'Give me another couple of days, okay?' Havoc said. 'I just need to secure your apartment before you move back.'

Aside from changing the locks, there was little they could do. It was difficult when they weren't sure how Kaiser had been able to get in in the first place. There had been no signs of forced entry. The best thing to do would be to secure the place from the inside – at least that way, she would feel safe once she had closed the door behind her. It wasn't ideal but it was a start.

'Thank you, Havoc.'

* * *

Later that same night, Roy found himself pacing back and forth in his living room. Once again, it was Riza that was on his mind. It was Riza that chased away any hope of sleep at night and it was Riza that made his heart hammer in his chest during those quiet moments of solitude. He had finally decided what he needed to do.

He wouldn't try to change her mind or keep her from wanting to live her life. Although it tore him apart to even consider it, he would let her go. After all, her happiness was more important than his own – it always had been. What he needed to do before he let her go was talk to her. To tell her exactly what she meant to him – not in the hopes of changing her mind, he would never try and manipulate her that way – but to make her see that she was so much more than some secret of his to keep. He needed to tell her how much she had affected him and that he would always love her no matter what else happened. It needed to be said while he still had the chance, especially in their lives, as tumultuous as they were.

He couldn't tell her this at Central Command – they would be looking over their shoulders, worrying about someone overhearing. Riza was cautious, it would be something she wouldn't appreciate. He owed it to both himself and her to take the time to tell her properly, privately. If only to provide them both with some sense of closure.

Roy picked up the phone. He would much rather have liked to do this in person but given the way she had reacted on Sunday, it was probably a wise idea to keep their distance. Dialling the number, he had memorised long ago, he waited for her to pick up.

After several rings, he frowned – glancing at the clock. It was just after nine. It was too early for her to have gone to bed. Perhaps, she had gone out. The question begged, with _whom?_ Riza's work took up most of her time and as far as he knew, she didn't have many friends aside from their team and Rebecca. She was stationed in East City and he surely would have heard something had she come to Central. The thought came to mind, unbidden.

A date, perhaps?

Roy shook his head. It wasn't his place to question it – not anymore. She was a free woman. She could do as she pleased however, a part of him still worried about her. Sighing, he placed the phone back down. He would try again in a few hours.

By Wednesday afternoon, everything had been put into place. Roy was pleased with how things had worked out. He had encouraged Cassandra to apply for a vacancy in the special military library. She had been nervous yet eager to begin the process. He knew he had done well in approaching General Grumman with this matter. He was easily able to explain that she was looking to try something new but wasn't sure how to proceed especially as she was worried about deserting her commanding officer at such a busy time. General Grumman had been helpful.

'Of course, it depends on the recruitment team but I shouldn't think it would be a problem.' General Grumman adjusted his spectacles and laughed good naturedly. 'Trying to get into her good books, eh, Mustang?'

'Something like that.' Roy smiled politely. It was better to let his playboy reputation speak for him at that moment. Let others think he was only doing this to score with the pretty secretary.

'I'll try and hurry it up for you especially as the young lady is keen to get started in the new role. I can't fault anyone for wanting to try something new.' General Grumman winked at Roy. 'You can thank me later, boy. After she thanks _you_.'

'Of course, sir.' Roy nodded, choosing to ignore that implication. 'How about with a game of chess?'

'I said, you can thank me, Mustang. Not torture me with your pitiful game play.' However, beneath those words, Roy could detect a hint of amusement. He knew the old General happened to be fond of him although he could never guess why.

'I've improved since the last time we played, sir. You may find yourself pleasantly surprised.' Roy replied amiably, before allowing himself a smirk. 'Or painfully shocked.'

'We'll see about that.' General Grumman laughed again. 'General Kaiser will be delivered Miss Jenkins' release forms by Friday. And a suitable replacement will be on his way the very same day.'

'Thank you, sir.' Roy saluted smartly.

* * *

'Thank you, sir!' Cassandra beamed, her relief evident on her pretty face.

It was later that same day, a little past five in the evening. They had arranged to meet in one of the empty meeting rooms for an update after he had had his talk with General Grumman. This particular meeting room was on the second floor – an entire floor below and away from both his own office and General Kaiser's office. It would do no good if his team saw him taking her into a room and closing the door behind him – it would surely raise questions and it would be worse if Kaiser happened to see them together.

'You're welcome.' Roy smiled at her.

He couldn't help but notice how different she seemed now as opposed to all the other times they had met in Central Command. She seemed happier, lighter – as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet, tilting her head to the side as she gazed up at him – all pink cheeked.

He was once again struck by how fresh and innocent she looked. The fact that anyone could ever hurt her made his blood boil. He knew there was a lot more to her story than what he had glimpsed from her reactions. He hadn't asked because he hadn't wanted to scare her away. And even now, it was not the time to ask – but it would come. If she gave him the right information, she would be Kaiser's undoing and he would be sure to help her make her case any way he could.

'I'm worried. What if in the meantime …' Cassandra let the sentence trail off, distress softly taking hold of her smile. Her lips quivered and she bit them as though to refrain from vocalising her fears. She looked down at her feet and released a shuddering breath.

'Don't be. It's as good as done.' Roy slipped his fingers under her chin, tilting her face up so their gazes locked once more. 'Any problems, come find me.'

'Yes, sir.' She nodded, a tiny smile finally finding its way to her lips.

Riza was on her way back to the office when she happened upon them. The ladies' room on the third floor were currently being cleaned by the maintenance staff so she had walked down a flight of stairs to visit the ladies' room on the floor below. She was on her way back upstairs when she heard a familiar voice from the adjoining corridor. As she drew closer, she could hear him clearly – it was the Colonel. Usually, she would have continued walking however, the second voice made her stop short.

Slowly she ventured closer to the end of her corridor and peered around the corner. She could see the Colonel talking to a striking young woman with long hair – Cassandra. She was slender and looked feminine in her heels and skirt. It made Riza suddenly feel self-conscious of her own bulky uniform and heavy boots. Pushing away her shallow thoughts, she watched the pair talk for a few minutes. The Colonel had lowered his tone. Riza could see him murmuring to her, wearing that charming smile – the one he kept reserved for the string of women he dated.

She hadn't wanted to believe it when Breda had mentioned the two of them having been seen out together. She had hoped it to be a misunderstanding, a case of mistaken identity – although there wasn't a single person in the military, or even Central for that matter, that would mistake Colonel Roy Mustang for someone else. But thinking it could have been a mistake was the only thing keeping her from hurting however, seeing them together herself only confirmed what she had refused to believe.

There was something intimate about the way he gently touched her arm, leaving his hand upon it for a few long moments. Something sweet about the way he gazed at her and smiled and how he spoke softly to her. This wasn't just business, this was something more.

The pain Riza felt was reminiscent of that night when she had watched the Colonel leave her for the attractive woman sitting at the bar. That was the night when she had unknowingly walked in to the General's trap, her devastation making her blind to the cat and mouse game that was about to ensue.

Something bothered her about it. Breda had said they were seen out together during the weekend. Did they mean the Colonel had gone out with her before Sunday morning or after? She wasn't sure which was worse. The fact that he had been out with another woman while he believed everything to be fine between them or that he had waited only a matter of hours before readily going out with another woman as though nothing had happened that morning.

A small part of her tried to remind herself that it was _she_ who finished with him. She had no right to feel betrayed or angry that he had moved on. But to move on so quickly? Especially when he had looked so hurt that morning? Had that all been an act? Had she simply been something for him to do on the side?

It didn't matter anymore.

Riza blinked back her tears, refusing to let them fall. She would not cry over him. They were finished. He didn't owe her any explanations for his behaviour, nor did she him. The only thing she could do was swallow that bitterness down and continue as though she had seen nothing. She waited while they finished, unable to look any more. Instead she kept her eyes closed, leaning against the wall, hidden from their view.

Finally, when all she could hear was silence, she took a deep breath and continued her way back to the office. The rest of the day was spent on autopilot. She did and said all the right things however, she was barely aware of it – of anything. An emptiness had slowly begun to spread through her, swallowing up the jumble of emotions that had been rattling around inside her. If only that emptiness could swallow her heart, she found herself thinking. That would suit her just fine.

* * *

Something was wrong.

From a work perspective, nothing had changed between himself and his Lieutenant. She was as professional as ever – perhaps, a little more stoic in terms of engagement with the team, but other than that, he couldn't sense anything amiss in the office with her. She had addressed him politely, chastised him for being slow at his reports and had only spoken to him when required. The rest of the time, she had spent glued to her own desk, absorbed in her own work.

Roy had watched her for a long time – observed the way she stiffly held her shoulders, how tightly she clutched her pen as she wrote. His sharp gaze could even detect a slight clenching of her jaw even though her overall facial expression seemed just as passive as ever. He knew there was a lot more going on behind her placid gaze.

He had tried speaking to her in the office – those little moments when they had been alone. But those moments never lasted for long because one of his men always seemed to be stomping in through the doorway at the worst possible time. Roy had also been right in assuming that she would not appreciate discussing anything personal in the office – especially now that she had retreated back to her side. They were playing their roles both inside and outside of work this time. The line between them had never been so glaringly obvious.

He had tried to call her again on Tuesday night – there had been no answer. Wednesday night had been the same. He had tried three times. Late evening, then just after ten and finally, a little past three in the morning. Had she been out the entire night? Surely, she would have been back by three, at least … unless she was spending her nights elsewhere.

Thursday night found Roy outside the door of Riza's apartment. He knew he shouldn't be there, especially after all that had happened between them. Riza had made her desire to remain professional perfectly clear. However, his concern had overcome his reluctance to have her angry at him for being stupid enough to come all the way over to her place and for what? Because she simply wouldn't pick up the phone?

Sighing, he knocked on her door.

A few moments passed – there was no answer. He moved closer, straining his ears to see if he could hear anything from the other side – the sounds of running water, maybe or faint footsteps. There was nothing.

He knocked again – waiting a little longer this time. He would not call out to her from outside the door. That would simply rouse her neighbours into seeing who was calling for her at this time of night. Even with his uniform, it was far too late for this visit to appear as anything but social and that made him nervous. They had been so careful – they couldn't afford any slip ups now.

Still, no answer.

Discreetly and with a heavy feeling of guilt, Roy reached into his pocket and took out the key Riza had given him for emergencies and quietly placed it in the lock, turning it quickly. He unlocked the door and stepped inside

It all felt wrong.

The place had an air of neglect surrounding it – as though it's occupant hadn't inhabited the space for a while. The furniture in the living room was haphazardly placed – a chair was plonked right in the middle of the room, the coffee table although standing upright, was sitting in a different position from where he remembered it to be.

A quick tour of the bathroom and the kitchen confirmed his suspicion that she hadn't been living there recently. The bathtub was bone dry as was the sink in the kitchen. There was nothing drying in the dish rack near the sink – not even a lone mug.

Roy opened the fridge only to be met with food that had barely been touched. Vegetables, meat, and a carton of milk. Taking the milk out, he opened it and sniffed. It had gone off. Wrinkling his nose at the smell, he emptied it into the sink before tossing the carton into the bin. The meat soon followed. There was no sense in letting either of those things stink up the fridge.

Nothing was _terribly_ out of place, but there was nothing right about it either.

Riza was tidy, yes – but this was different. Normally, he would see a book and a mug of tea on the coffee table, a blanket she had curled up with while she read, folded up on the couch, dishes drying in the kitchen, a bottle of shampoo on the edge of her bathtub – signs of life.

Currently, he hadn't found a single one.

Returning to the living room, he thought back to that night after they had returned from Pure Magnolia. The memory of her – the way she had looked in that scarlet dress, how soft her skin had felt under his hands, how she had so sensually rubbed herself against him, wanting more – so much _more_ , made his heart feel heavy as though it was slowly sinking to the bottom of his stomach.

Roy forced himself to push the memory away, now was not the time to be thinking of her that way. He had his entire life time to think of her. Even if he couldn't have her the way he wanted her, at least he would have those memories of her. It was better than nothing.

He glanced around her living room once more before letting his gaze move to her bedroom. That was the only place left to check. Feeling a strange sense of trepidation, he slowly walked over to the doorway and peered into the darkness. Although he had been in there – _slept_ in there, many times before, venturing in uninvited felt like an invasion of privacy. But what other choice did he have when the rest of her apartment had given him a cause for concern?

Stepping into the room and switching on the light, his gaze fell on her bed first. It had been hurriedly made. Again, this was not like Riza. Even when running late, she still would have managed to do a better job than this. The blanket hadn't been tucked in properly for a start and the pillow looked beaten – as though it had simply been thrown on the bed at the last minute.

Then there was the phone on her bedside table. It wasn't sitting in its usual place and its wire was roughly wrapped around it around instead of it being threaded down from the back of her bedside table down to its socket. He could detect a faint smell of bleach as though someone had cleaned up something within the last few days. Checking the carpet, he found a patch which looked as though it had been vigorously scrubbed at – the usually cream carpet having turned a much lighter shade due to the heavy use of bleach on the material.

He didn't know what to think.

Glancing around the room, he noticed something else – there were things missing. Her hairbrush and lipstick were missing from her dresser-top, along with her perfume – the one that smelled of peonies and mingled perfectly with her own scent and gunpowder. He suddenly realised other items had been missing from the other rooms too. Her toothbrush and toiletries, her jacket which always hung on the inside of her door.

The sense of guilt returning in full force, he walked over to her wardrobe and pulled it open. Riza had never been the type to buy things in excess. This included the usual things women he knew liked to buy. Clothes, make-up, shoes … Therefore, her modest collection of clothes made it easy to see that some items of clothing were missing. Her shoulder bag and uniform were also gone. Silently, he closed the wardrobe.

Suddenly feeling weary, Roy moved to sit down on the edge of her bed – struggling to identity the emotions churning inside him. He had no right to barge into her life like this. He was her commanding officer, not a parent or lover. His duty towards keeping his subordinate safe ended the moment she finished work and exited the building.

The last thing he should be doing was chasing after her, ensuring she was okay when she had behaved perfectly fine in the office. On the other hand, they had known each other for what seemed like a lifetime – how could he _not_ care? How could he ever allow himself to think that his concern for her wellbeing didn't extend to life outside the office?

Where was she? It was obvious she hadn't been back for a good few days now – with whom was she spending her time with, her _nights_ with? Along with that concern, he could feel another emotion stir just beneath the surface, something dark and bitter – jealousy.

Was she with another man?

Roy knew he had to accept the fact that he would never know the answers to these questions. Riza would not be discussing her personal life with him at the office anymore – she had firmly moved back into her former role and he knew her better than to think she would acquiesce just because he asked or openly admitted that he was worried about her.

He couldn't bring himself to leave. He knew it would be futile to wait. Something told him that she wasn't come back tonight but still, he waited. It was strange how a place that had felt so safe, so homely at one time could now feel so cold and empty. It was as though Riza had walked out and taken life with her, leaving nothing but the wooden fixtures.

Roy waited – unsurprised, when she didn't come home. It was nearing four in the morning when he finally admitted defeat and left the apartment.

* * *

That bitch.

General Kaiser was livid.

She was leaving him and it was all Mustang's doing. He had witnessed them leaving together on Friday night – who knew what kind of promises her head had been filled with. Mustang was good at that – _lying_. Tempting women into his bed with false promises to get what he wanted. And what was more absurd was that women fell for it left, right and centre. And now he had sweet talked _his_ fucking plaything into applying for another role in the military.

Oh, he knew something was up. He'd heard snippets of conversation among the other generals – something about a new replacement. Though nobody seemed to know exactly for _whom_ that replacement was supposed to be for – just that one had been arranged to step into the office fresh from academy.

Cassandra had been called out of his office on two separate occasions during the week. He hadn't bothered questioning her on it. It would have been a waste of his time and a test of his patience. She was pathetically frightened of him and he wouldn't have been able to get anything more than a whimper out of her. Ever since he had fucked her throat raw, she had skulked around him like a wounded dog.

How very fitting.

It was only on that Friday morning that it had all come to play. Cassandra simply hadn't shown up at the office. Instead, a random officer had been sent in with some paperwork for him to look over. They were release forms which included details of her termination from her current role plus a transfer sheet and a recruit sheet – details of her new replacement; Captain Davis. Some punk kid plucked from academy to assist him around the office.

It had all been neatly done. Again – he could smell Mustang's handiwork all over it. It had been done incredibly quickly, for a start. Usually, this would take a couple of weeks at the least. He couldn't complain about the sudden departure because he had already been supplied with a replacement. That bitch didn't need his authorisation because she wasn't simply doing the same role for another commanding officer – she was changing her role entirely. He may have been able to stop her from flouncing off if she was still working as a secretary but this was different. He had no authority over the department she had fled to.

This was fine.

Really.

He had already been planning to play a little game with Mustang but now, he would be sure to make it _hurt._ Opening his desk drawer, he took out his weapon of choice – beautiful, but deadly in its implications. Oh, this would make all the difference. Squeezing the item in his hand, he shoved it into his pocket and calmly stood up from his desk.

It was time to pay that pathetic excuse for a Colonel a visit. Kaiser exited his office and made his way to Mustang's office in a leisurely manner. It was a risky move but it was a good one. His fingers caressed the item in his pocket tenderly, smugly.

It would certainly be a game changer.


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note:** I live! Really, truly very sorry. There are no words. I'm not making excuses but I thought you should know (rather than thinking I was being a lazy ass!) I got into an accident of sorts. I will spare you the gory details. And while it was never life threatening, it did put me out of action for a long time. So much that I had to drop out of uni as I had missed so much class. I have to re-do the semester again which will not only cost me time but money. But I have made my peace with it. Goodness knows, I've had a long time to dwell on this. I want to get back into everything and this fanfic was never really far from my mind. So once again, I do apologise for the massive delay.

 **Coming Undone**

'Good afternoon, Colonel Mustang.'

General Kaiser greeted Roy Mustang in a fallaciously pleasant tone. He had swept into the office without warning – nor had he sought consent before invading Mustang's personal space. After all, there was little point now. He had already taken something precious from the Colonel when claiming Riza's body for himself. Under his heavy pretences, a sinister intent lurked and he knew very well that Mustang would try and sniff it out. Such was his nature – a _dog_ of the military.

Unfortunately, the room was empty aside from Mustang himself, lounging at his desk. Pity – he would have quite enjoyed having had an audience present. Kaiser found himself vaguely wondering where the Colonel's underlings were but brushed that thought aside almost instantly. It didn't matter. The only one who did matter, was Riza.

Kaiser observed in silent amusement as Mustang sat up straighter in his chair, his jaw clenching as a dark shadow settled in behind his gaze. Such audacity – not only did Mustang refuse tostand up to salute and address a senior officer, he was openly glowering at him as well. It was all rather refreshing.

Although Kaiser enjoyed flaunting his power, seeing so many quiver and fall under his authority wasn't as interesting as someone who challenged it. True, Mustang wasn't doing so blatantly, of course, but Kaiser knew this was one man who wouldn't back down from him simply because he wore additional badges on his uniform.

'General Kaiser.' Mustang said tightly. 'What can I do for you?'

'I was hoping you could help.' Kaiser began, tone conversational. 'I've had bit of a trying morning thus far. My lovely secretary simply up and left.'

The trick was to communicate by reading between the lines. Although he was certain the sole reason that bitch had fled was thanks to Mustang, it still didn't mean he was going to accuse him outright. That behaviour would be uncouth and certainly not how one of his rank ought to carry himself.

'I can't imagine why.' Mustang responded dryly, a hint of scorn bleeding into his tone. He then firmly repeated his earlier question, obviously wanting to cut to the chase. 'What can I do for you?'

'I was looking for Riz– ah, I mean Lieutenant Hawkeye.' The slip was intentional, of course. 'Would you happen to know where she is?'

'Field work.' Mustang's reply was short – and conveniently vague, Kaiser couldn't help but notice. It was no surprise, really, his unwillingness to reveal anything when it came to his precious Lieutenant.

Kaiser advanced further into the room – stopping only when his legs were touching the Colonel's desk. He glanced quickly at both of Mustang's hands and noticed – with some relief, that they were bare. The only worrying part about this was that he was in danger of getting burned – quite literally, if the Flame Alchemist was to really lose his temper. However, the chances of that were reduced as Mustang wasn't wearing those infernal ignition gloves.

It also begged the question, how close those gloves were kept. Understandably, they would be kept on his person. It would take what, less than a minute maybe to take them out of his pocket and put them on? That would give him plenty of time to reach for his gun _or_ his dagger if it came to that. _If_ it came to that. He most certainly didn't want the game to end so soon. They were just getting started.

Leaning forward, Kaiser rested both palms flat on the desk, never breaking eye contact with the Colonel. That Cheshire cat-like grin was back on his lips, just barely hiding the snarl lurking beneath.

'You can't imagine how difficult it's been for me not being able to see Riza.' Kaiser murmured pityingly, allowing his voice to take on a hint of tenderness as he mentioned her name. 'We're both so busy these days – I miss her _terribly_.'

Mustang looked on in stony silence.

It was all so amusing – he should have done this _ages_ ago. Kaiser kept the smile plastered on his face while he reached into his pocket to pluck out the item he had so carefully picked up. For the time being, he kept it hidden inside his clenched fist. The action didn't go unnoticed by the Colonel, of course – Kaiser could see his sharp gaze briefly touch his hand as it made its way from his pocket and to his side. Mustang didn't look too concerned, however, obviously disregarding the fact that a weapon had been concealed in that fist. His look was one of irritation and perhaps, morbid curiosity but not fear.

Kaiser moved closer still, his face inches from the Colonel's – he didn't want to miss a moment of this. He needed to be close enough to see every fleeting emotion his next words and of course, the item stirred up within Mustang. He wanted to see the shock, the pain and betrayal flashing in that dark stare. He wanted to make Mustang bleed from the inside and force the proud and stubborn man to his knees.

Kaiser paused for a moment – allowing himself the luxury to take an unhurried breath at the expense of the Colonel's time and patience. When he was certain he could feel Mustang practically bristling with indignation, he widened his mouth into an impossibly large grin – causing that once professional smile to morph into something deranged.

And here it comes.

'I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since the night we made love.'

The words were released as a sordid whisper, his breath hot and heavy. Kaiser unclenched his fist, allowing the scrunched-up item to fall. It unfurled as soon as it landed on the desk between them – a lovely, pale-yellow bra adorned with stitched on pastel-purple flowers.

Although the bra was sweet rather than racy, it was still very striking. And he knew Mustang would recognise it immediately, especially if he was close to Riza – as _intimate_ , Kaiser thought jealously to himself – with her as they had appeared to be on that night when he had been lurking in her bedroom, quietly devouring every spoken word between them. He was certain that Mustang would have seen it.

It had been no effort to pluck them out from her laundry basket while he waited for her to return. Although he hadn't really anticipated Riza having company on that particular night. He had been surprised to hear her come in the Colonel. He had heard every single word of the conversation that confirmed what he had suspected all along.

It had pissed him off to no end to hear Riza begging Mustang to take her only to struggle and _cringe_ away from his own touch later that night, when he had her slammed up against the door. He would have gladly given her all that she wanted and yet, she continued to deny him. But that was fine for now. He would make her change her mind soon enough. She would have to, if she valued Mustang's life at all.

Kaiser had ignored the black and white underwear in the laundry basket. They were indistinguishable from the pairs any number of women could have owned. He had to find something unusual, something that Mustang would no doubt remember. The yellow and purple bra and panty set had been perfect. No man would have forgotten those – especially when someone like Riza had been wearing them.

Mustang didn't disappoint. Although Kaiser had been expecting a reaction of sorts, he wasn't prepared for the look of utter shock and anger that crossed the Colonel's features as he stared down at the panties lying on his desk. Kaiser drank in Mustang's distress with obvious glee, his grin almost threatening to split his face in two.

Unfortunately, the Colonel's emotions were indeed fleeting. And while it was obvious that it was taking Mustang a great effort to remain calm, he was still able to remove all traces of pain and betrayal from his expression, leaving behind a barely contained fury which caressed the underside of every word.

'Get out. _Now_.'

Whatever flickering emotions had been at play in the Colonel's gaze upon Kaiser's arrival had all but disappeared now. There was no light or shadow – just an endless black, filled with nothing but animosity. Out of the corner of his eye, Kaiser could see Mustang's hands clench into fists, the knuckles whitening under the strain. The scathing look from the Colonel may have had lesser men running for the door but it did no such thing for the General. It merely encouraged him to provoke Mustang further.

'It's just as well that transfer failed. So, thank you for putting your foot down, Colonel.' Kaiser continued, ignoring the warning signs from the Flame Alchemist.

Silently, Mustang rose to his full height, causing Kaiser to do the same. Leaning on the desk while the Colonel loomed over him was just asking for trouble. Still, he continued talking in that same self- satisfied tone.

'If your sweet Lieutenant had been transferred to be under _my_ command, I wouldn't have been able to act upon my …' Kaiser paused again, licking his lips in a suggestive manner. '– _desires_.'

Reaching into the inner pocket of his jacket, Kaiser pulled out the matching pair of panties and let them fall on to the desk to join the bra. Retreating, he couldn't help but deliver a parting shot, tossing the words carelessly over his shoulder.

'And trust me, Mustang, when I tell you that your Lieutenant _tastes_ as sweet as she looks.'

Moments later, he stepped out of the office and slammed the door behind him.

The slam of the door closing shut behind the General was lost, swallowed up by the sound of his thundering heart. He could feel it pumping the blood furiously through his veins, could hear the rush in his ears due to the hypertension. He mentally ordered himself to take a breath and calm down – he had to think about this rationally.

Roy's gaze fell to his desk, settling over the underwear. He knew they belonged to Riza but all the same, he picked them up gently – the material soft and delicate in his trembling hand. He could detect a faint scent of peonies mingling with the scent of _her_. His eyes slipped closed as a memory came to greet him. Although it had happened a couple of weeks ago, he could still picture it vividly in his mind.

They had been sitting on her couch, in her dimly lit living room. Their conversation had lulled, the last of their words melting into the heavy silence of the room. He had begun tentatively kissing her, moving slowing from her lips, along her jawline and down the side of her neck. Riza had accepted his kisses quietly, allowing him to take the lead as she had curled up at his side. She had sighed softly in content as his warm lips had settled upon the pulse point in her neck.

Maybe it had been the way she had gazed at him, silently inviting him in or maybe they had both sensed the tone of what was gently unfurling between that evening. He had slowly undone the top several buttons of her blouse and slipped his hand inside. There had been no sense of urgency, no throbbing desire from either of them. Everything that happened was slow and surreal – it was as though they had been in a dream.

His fingers had moved languidly, feather-like in their touch, making her shiver. But she had smiled up at him and he had continued, his hand closing around her breast, cupping it gently. His fingers had brushed up against the soft, satin material of her bra. He had glanced down and smiled when he had seen the pale-yellow bra, adorned with the pastel-purple flowers. It had suited her perfectly and he had found himself wondering whether she had been wearing something equally as pretty under her long skirt.

He had drunk in the sight of her with his eyes, taking in every inch as she had leaned back on the sofa – her golden hair falling in soft waves over her shoulders, her parted lips which had been rosy from being kissed, the soft, smooth skin of her décolletage and the swell of the tops of her breasts as they nestled in that lovely bra. He had been struck by how innocent and fresh she had looked. Nothing like the soldier who had been to hell and back.

His fingers had slipped under the fabric of the bra then, finding her nipple. Riza had simply closed her eyes and rested her head against his shoulder, the faint smile on her lips encouraging him to continue. It had been one of the more peaceful evenings they had shared – untainted by the ugliness from their everyday lives. For once, Riza hadn't been jittery from his touch nor had he wanted to take things any further. They had both enjoyed it for what it had been, a precious few hours free from fear or worry in which they could indulge in this intimacy.

She had fallen asleep as his hand had gently massaged her – a ghost of a smile still on her lips. He had carefully carried her to bed then, ensuring she was warm and safe before leaving her to sleep for the night.

Now – it sickened him to think that bastard had had his hands all over them. How had he come to acquire these in the first place? Could what he had so smugly revealed hold any kind of truth? Roy didn't want to believe it, _refused_ to believe it and yet, certain things kept coming back to him however much he tried to shake them off.

The way Riza hadn't replied to his question on that terrible Sunday morning when she had broken things off between them. It had taken everything in him to utter those words to ask if there was someone else – another _man,_ in her life which had caused her to make her decision along with everything else she had said to him. He'd watched as she had hesitated and turned back to look at him, evidently contemplating his words but hadn't answered his question. She had said her goodbyes and walked out of this personal life, leaving him shattered.

Then of course, there had been those times when he had tried to ring her at home. Those times when he had been desperate to talk to her, not to change her mind and come back to him – he respected her too much to try and manipulate her feelings, but to explain she had never been just some fun to have on the sly. That she wasn't just one of the many women he stringed along. And that if this was truly her decision, they could end things a lot better than they had that Sunday morning. Then maybe they could both get some closure instead and slowly come to terms with their separation instead of feeling so raw and wrong footed.

He had called her throughout the night and not once had she picked up the phone. He had tried from early as 8 PM to as late as 4 AM. He couldn't see her _not_ picking the phone up out of stubbornness or spite, simply because that wasn't the kind of person she was. Her sense of duty would override any other emotion and regardless of how messy things were in their personal lives, she would have always answered his calls. The way she had behaved in the office since that Sunday was proof of that. When she addressed him, it was in her usual professional manner. On the surface, she was his usual calm, and focused Lieutenant – allowing nothing of the turmoil beneath to bleed into her demeanour or her work.

This only led him to assume she had been spending her nights elsewhere. Of course, this suspicion had been confirmed when he had visited her apartment a few days later – not only to find it empty but _unlived_ in for a while. There had been an air of neglect hanging about the place. The food had gone untouched to the point of spoiling and some of her belongings had gone. Aside from Rebecca in East City, Riza didn't have any friends in Central and he couldn't see her staying with any of the men from their team for social purposes …

And while Roy _had_ considered the very real possibility of Riza spending her nights with another man, he couldn't bring himself to believe that that man happened to be General Kaiser. The same bastard that not only had been the cause of many complications experienced in a professional capacity but that had hurt Riza personally as well. Why would she ever go anywhere near the man after all that? Especially when she had been so terrified of him when he'd caught the General in the office with his Lieutenant?

 _I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since the night we made love …_

Kaiser's voice came back to him, unbidden. Instinctively, Roy slammed his fist on to his desk, the force upsetting the coffee cup and knocking it to the floor. The sound of it smashing apart was only vaguely heard by him. His mind had begun churning once again, thoughts climbing over each other until he didn't know what to think.

Surely, they hadn't? Surely Riza hadn't been … _intimate_ with that bastard? After all the aggravation and the _bruises,_ she had suffered by Kaiser's hand, surely, she wouldn't have climbed into bed with him? The thought was enough to make him feel sick. It was wrong, it _felt_ wrong. Once again, it was out of Riza's character – his Lieutenant wouldn't do such a thing. It was messy and it would complicate things at work.

However, Roy couldn't help but think back to that night at the bar when he had seen Riza leaving with Kaiser. She hadn't seemed affected by the alcohol in the slightest. She had known what she was doing, even going as far as giving him one of her stern looks when their eyes had met across the bar on her way out. Although still a little disturbing – to Roy, at least – their departure had seemed mutual enough.

So how had Kaiser come into possession of her underwear? Roy's heart sank as he realised the pair would have had to have had some sort of intimate relationship for the General to not only have taken them from her but to have mocked him so out rightly with them. It was evident Kaiser knew how much he valued his Lieutenant after the way he had reacted in the meeting during that transfer request. This was simply another cheap shot on his part for that transfer having been denied.

 _I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since the night we made love …_

That infernal voice again, so smug and sickeningly sweet. Roy gritted his teeth, trying to will away the sound of Kaiser's laughter from his mind. He was going to _burn_ that piece of –

There was a knock at the door to his office. His team would have simply waltzed in rather than knocking – as would any higher-ranking officer. Swiftly pulling open a drawer and sweeping the underwear into it, Roy deftly locked it before addressing the visitor.

'Come in.' Despite the emotions whirling within him, his voice had managed to hold its usual commanding and slightly bored tone.

The door opened to reveal a lower-ranking solider – one who's name and face Roy couldn't place. The young man step inside, coming to a halt just in front of the door and saluted smartly.

'General Grumman requires your presence, sir.'

* * *

'Alright, let me show you what I've done.' Havoc placed Riza's bag on the ground and fumbled in his pocket for the keys. 'They're in here somewhere …'

They were standing outside the door of Riza's apartment. It was late Saturday morning and after having packed up her things, she had walked the forty minutes back to her apartment with Havoc in tow. She didn't have many things with her to begin with so they weren't burdened by a lot of weight. The sun had peeked out from its hiding place behind the clouds and bathed them in a little warmth even with the chill in the air. She had listened as Havoc had chatted idly in his usual easy-going manner; the walk back had been pleasant.

However, _now_ – standing in the hallway, in front of her own door – Riza felt anxious. Memories from that night, when she had run so desperately out of that door had slowly begun to creep up again reminding her how helpless she had been. But it would be different this time, it had to be. She would be prepared. She knew his tricks now, the depth he was willing to sink to. And just as she would do so in an assigned operation, she would draw up contingency plans for all eventualities. She would not be caught off guard again.

'Here goes.' Having finally fished it out, Havoc fitted the key into the lock. Riza could see it was the same old key – _her_ key, one she had used many times. Turning it and hearing the click of the lock, Havoc pushed open the front door, however, it only opened by several centimetres before it stopped. Riza peered into the gap and she could see a chain on the inside of the door, restricting them from opening it any further.

'There's another lock inside.' Havoc grinned, taking the first key out of the lock now that the door had been opened. He showed her another smaller key on the same key ring – this one was a new silver one. 'What you gotta do is slip your hand through the gap and undo the lock on the other side. The beauty is ….'

Havoc dramatically tried to put his hand through the gap to reach the second lock but his hand was much too big. He could only get as far as his knuckles before the space filled up. He tried to wiggle his hand through but to no avail. It was obvious he wouldn't be able to unlock the door. He grinned at her before stepping aside and holding the key up to her. 'Now you try.'

Taking the key from Havoc, Riza moved in front of the gap in the door. She was easily able to slip her hand through the narrow gap. She found the lock on the other side readily enough and within thirty seconds, had the lock undone. The chain fell, hanging by one end only. Riza could now open the door fully and enter.

'Thank you, Havoc.' She smiled at him, giving his arm a friendly squeeze. 'That's perfect.'

It was quite clever, really. Although many homes had a chain on the door for additional security, nearly all were fitted in the same way. The chain was always a certain length, allowing anyone to pass their hand through the gap to undo the lock on the inside. However, _this_ specific chain had been cut short drastically to the point where only a slender hand would be able to slip through. Unless a man had exceptionally tiny hands, Riza realised that only another woman or a child could have slipped their hand through the gap. There was no way Kaiser would have been able to get his hand through the gap – his hands were enormous. They had certainly felt as such when they had been all over body.

'No problem.' Havoc replied, picking up her bag again. Although she was beginning to feel much better, the last traces of her anxiety about returning to the apartment hadn't escaped him. So instead of allowing her to enter, he walked inside first, switching on the light. Taking a deep breath, Riza followed, closing the door behind her.

'I'm going to do a quick sweep, okay?' Havoc said, soothing her nerves with his easy smile. Riza gave him a nod and off he went, checking each room. There was no need to do a sweep, it was obvious that the place was secure thanks to the adjustments. She knew he was doing it to make her feel better and for that, she was glad. She wouldn't be able to rest until she was certain each room was clear.

Riza stood in the living room, just in front of the door. She gazed around silently, forcing back any memories that can oozing to the front of her mind by thinking, slow deliberate thoughts. She needed to air out the room – there was a stale smell in the air. Opening the window would do the trick. She needed to throw out all the food in the fridge and go to the grocery store later. She needed to take a long, hot bath and try and relax. And she needed to strip the bed and throw away the sheets and blanket.

Again.

The thought of sleeping in them – even if they'd been washed was too much to bear. _He'd_ been in them – the sheets twisting around his body as they had struggled in the bed together. She didn't want them anywhere near her. Throwing them out wasn't good enough. She wanted to _burn_ them as though doing so, would burn away every single dark memory he has bestowed upon her with his rotten touch.

'All clear!' Havoc snapped her mind back to the present. Walking over to the door, he directed her attention to a newly attached deadbolt. It was black and heavy looking, appearing completely out of place on her brown wooden door but it made her feel safer. 'Come in, do a sweep and lock that thing after you – and you're all set, okay?'

'Yes.' Riza moved forward to slide the bolt into place. It felt solid and reassuring in her hands. She liked the sound it made as it bolted into place.

She wasn't sure how the General had slipped into her apartment. As Havoc had pointed out, there had been no signs of forced entry. There were two other options. Kaiser could have cleverly picked the lock or he had gained access to a key. But the latter was absurd. Her landlord wouldn't have just handed the key over to a stranger – military or not. The only other person who had a key was the Colonel. She had given him a spare for emergencies when she had first moved in. She knew he would protect her at all costs and to think of him giving the key to _anyone_ was laughable.

If the General _had_ picked the lock, then that was fine because he certainly wouldn't be able to do it now. The lock and chain on the door and the deadbolt would keep him from gaining access should he try again. First, there was no way he would be able to get his hand through the gap and when she was in the apartment, she had the added security of that deadbolt.

'I can't thank you enough, Havoc.' She beamed at him. It was unfair – for herself as well as him. She shouldn't need to resort to having to do this in the first place. And he shouldn't be spending his time on her – on a weekend, no less, making sure she was okay. She felt grateful for the time and energy he had given her, but she felt guilty nonetheless for having taken him away from his own plans for the weekend and for imposing on him as much as she had over the last few days.

'I got your back, Lieutenant.' Despite the use of her title, his tone was friendly and teasing as he gave her a lazy salute. The action was half-hearted, more of a flick of his wrist than a traditional salute but along with his charming smile and blue twinkling eyes, it made the right impression on her all the same. 'I'll always fight in your corner.'

Once Havoc had left, Riza slowly walked around her small apartment. She popped into the kitchen and then her bathroom. Nothing seemed amiss in either of the two rooms aside from the unlived in feel of the place and the stale odour. The latter was resolved by opening the window and letting in the fresh air and although the breeze that blew in was chilly, she much preferred that to the trapped air inside. She was surprised to find her fridge empty aside from a slab of butter and a jar of marmalade. Havoc must have had the foresight to clean it out, throwing away any perishable items. She thanked him silently for that. Goodness knows what the smell would have been like if she had come back to spoiled milk and meat.

She straightened up a few things in her living room – plumping up cushions, straightening the tiny coffee table and tidying away the newspapers and books. She knew she was stalling. She had yet to enter the bedroom. She had to do it eventually and it was better to do it now in the cold light of day. Taking a deep breath, she walked towards her bedroom, pausing in the doorway as she gazed in. Once again, she was surprised. The bed was made – sloppily so, but still made. The phone she had used as a weapon had been carefully placed on her bedside table, its wire wrapped around it. And …

She inched forward, dreading what she would see but was surprised yet again – and relieved. The blood stain on the floor was gone. Instead there was a very bleached spot on the carpet as though someone had vigorously rubbed out the stain for her. _Havoc_ , she though, gratitude washing over her. He had made it a little easier for her to come back here. She made a quick mental note to bake him something – as though that simple gesture could ever hope to repay him back for all that he had done for her – but she knew he would appreciate it all the same.

Rolling up her sleeves, she walked closer to the bed, intent on stripping it clean but something made her pause. She looked around, puzzled before realising what it was – a distinct smell. Just the bare trace of it, really. The fact that she could still detect it was because she had grown quite familiar to it over the years – to the point where she could recognise it anywhere.

It was cologne. More specifically, it was the scent Roy Mustang wore.

Riza thought back to when he'd been at her apartment last. It had been weeks ago and yet, she could still smell him. As though he had been there recently, lingering in her room. It was ridiculous, of course. He had no reason to have been there. She had been away for the last few days. She was imagining it. It was probably something her mind had conjured up, manipulating her in a way so that she was certain she could smellsomething. It was nothing but a coping mechanism, just another way to subconsciously comfort herself.

After all, it seemed like Roy Mustang was chasing after another woman these days.

* * *

 _Security breach._

 _Questioning soldiers._

 _Utmost discretion._

Sunday evening had Roy Mustang back at Central Command. Although his presence was not required, he had ventured in anyway as he had been unable to wait. He couldn't just sit around at home and do _nothing._ Not when something was so clearly wrong. His desk was covered with paperwork, every sheet relating to their investigation regarding Decker and the stolen arsenal. Something wasn't sitting right, something was missing. It was as though he was putting together a jigsaw puzzle. The pieces were all there, he just couldn't make them fit together. It didn't make sense.

His meeting with General Grumman had him concerned. It was determined there was a military connection as many of the confiscated weapons had a military origin, complete with reference numbers that matched their records perfectly. This also explained why Decker was so reluctant to give up the name of the person who had supplied these weapons. He was not above blurting out every other name, however – both, individuals who were of interest to the military (for the severity of their crimes) and those whose names didn't appear for even minor misdemeanours in the police records.

It made sense, however, that Decker was too afraid to talk. He may have been locked up in a cell but that didn't mean he was safe, especially when there was someone in the military who was counting on him to keep quiet about their involvement. And if this person had sunk low enough to hand over weapons to criminals, what other lengths would they be willing to go to?

As General Grumman had said, they had to proceed with the utmost discretion. If the wrong person found out then it would certainly lead to more issues down the line. How can they decide whom to question when doing so – especially if the one responsible for this caught wind of it, led to more complications? When the individual was found and apprehended, it would most certainly lead to a dishonourable discharge for such gross misconduct.

They had to be careful …

Which was the reason he had come in on a Sunday, so that he can scrutinise every scrap of paperwork in case he had missed anything. There had to be something … Something he was not seeing, something that would make all the pieces fit. It not on his desk, then somewhere … Sighing, Roy ran a hand through his hair. He was getting agitated. It was getting late and in several hours, he had to be back here again, trying to make sense of this mess. He groaned softly, rubbing his temples before gathering up the paperwork into piles and pushing it all in his bottom desk drawer. He could feel a headache coming on. He needed sleep but he knew he wouldn't get a wink of it – not when this was playing on his mind.

Along with _her._

The thought of Riza made him glance at his left side, desk drawer. Slowly, he retrieved the key from his pocket and opened it, plucking out the underwear and dropping it on his desk. It sat there in a crumpled heap, the smell of peonies lingering on it still. Closing his eyes, Roy sighed, breathing in deeply. That scent of hers would haunt him for nights to come. Kaiser's smug disclosure had him unnerved. What had happened between them and more importantly, what was he going to do about this little development?

 _General Kaiser._

Something niggled away at Roy – a feeling deep inside. A whisper of an idea gathered momentum, rolling around in his mind until he could think of nothing else. The individual they were looking for, the guilty party, the rogue soldier was General Kaiser. After all, wasn't he the one that messed up their investigation, hindering what little progress they had made at the start? Roy had assumed it had been down to pettiness and nothing more. But what if … there was more to it than that?

No. General Kaiser was a well-respected officer at Central Command. Nobody would believe anything otherwise. And even though General Grumman gave Roy the benefit of the doubt often enough and allowed him to act upon his instincts rather than procedures when he stated his case vehemently enough, even he would have trouble accepting this. No, evidence would be needed before he could confirm his suspicions to General Grumman.

He vaguely wondered whether he was only thinking this because he was furious with the General and _wanted_ him to be the one responsible for this but then brushed that thought aside. No, this was more than this. This was his instinct kicking in. He couldn't explain how or why – just that, Kaiser was involved somehow.

He would simply have to take matters into his own hands to gather what he needed to lock this down. Roy's dark gaze settled onto the pale-yellow underwear once more. They really were pretty and they had looked lovely on her. His fist clenched tightly as he grimly studied them for another moment or two. To think that _his_ hands had been all over them, had been all over _her._

Roy snapped his fingers, manipulating the air, feeling it crackle, blue sparks appearing like tiny stars. The underwear on his desk caught flame and he watched its destruction in quiet fascination. The flames danced merrily, eagerly eating up the pastel-purple flowers. The yellow satin disappeared leaving behind only ash.

Kaiser was going to _burn._

 **Author's Note:** Any Buffy fans out there? The line 'I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since the night we made love' is actually said by Angel in one of the episodes. No idea why, but that line kind of came to me when I was writing that scene and I had to put it in.


End file.
